Shila
by Luthien Snowtail
Summary: In one swift Fire Nation attack, waterbender Kya loses her family and her home. Now she must join with the gaang to save her mother - and perhaps she will find love on the way! minor Zutara and Taang. C:
1. Prolouge or Annakpok

**Disclaimer: No duh I don't own 'avatar: the last airbender'. If I did this story would be published or something and I wouldn't have to post it on this site. I really do wonder at the point of these disclaimers, I mean it is FAN FICTION .net... anyway!**

* * *

I stared at my surroundings. It was utter chaos, fire and water meeting and clashing. I searched desperately for the people who mattered. I saw my father, fighting a firebender, steam coming from their elements' contact. I saw him get struck by another firebender, in the back. I saw him collapse.

"NO!! FATHER!!!" My screams alerted the firebenders to my hiding place and forced me to run or be caught. I felt like a coward, but my father had instructed me not to get caught, and now it seemed to be his dying wish.

_No!_ I wouldn't think like that. He was just wounded. Not dead… he couldn't be dead.

A blast of fire interrupted my denial (_no, not denial… truth)_ and brought my mind back to the task of evading the firebenders. I weaved my way through trees until I reached the edge of the forest, where it turned into the beach. Quickly, without a second though, I took water from the sea and formed it into a giant, thin, razor blade. I shot it out behind me and was rewarded with screeches of pain and disbelief.

Not slowing down I ran to the opposite side of the small island where I live, to a thick earthen structure. This 'safe house' had been created long ago, by earthbenders. No-one knew why or when exactly it had been made, but it was where all our non-warrior women and children were hiding. I knew this was where my father wanted me to go.

The stares of the refugees were hard to face. The questions the women asked me about their husbands and children. I couldn't answer any of them. I moved to the corner and put my head on my knees, willing people to stay away, and trying not to think about what I had seen. I heard my aunt's familiar footsteps and took a breath to give me courage to pick my head up.

"Why are you here, Kya? I thought you were going to fight." My Aunt Lanik looked nervous, for good reason.

"Father told me to leave. He said to come here." The words were almost true.

"Oh. How was the battle going?"

"Fine." That word was very far from true.

"Good…" Aunt Lanik trailed off, seeming lost for words. I gave her a nod and returned to my depressed position. Aunt Lanik walked away to tend to her children and I couldn't help but be happy.

* * *

I stared at the scene before me disbelievingly. It just couldn't be possible. Our tiny, peaceful, little Island had been turned into a horrific example of the power of the Fire Nation. My heart was screaming _no _but my head knew I had to accept it. _Accept what? That almost everyone I knew and loved was dead, and my home was a wreck? I don't think so. _

I started as I heard my name.

"Kya? Kya honey, are you ok?" It was Aunt Lanik, one of the people I most definitely did not want to see. Ok? What did she mean? Was I ok…? WHAT!

"Not exactly," I muttered through my teeth. I glanced back at her and immediately felt bad for being angry. Her hair was loose and flew wildly in the wind, her dress was torn, and her eyes were red from crying.

"I'll be fine." It was an overstatement. A giant one.

"I'm going to try to get something soft for bedding. If you need me just call out, ok?"

"Thank you. I will." I had forgotten that she was in charge of me now. Me and Liluye. I cast a sharp glance at my sister who looked pretty much like I felt. Tears flew freely from her eyes, and her hair and dress were in a worse state than Aunt Lanik's. I sighed. I was so selfish! All I could think about was my denial, and my horrible life. I still had Liluye, and I needed to worry about her. She was sitting under a tree on the large cliff where all of us refugees had gathered, the cliff that offered the best view of the ruin, and she was staring at the battlefield.

"Liluye?"

She looked up at me, and her eyes were blank. "Yes?"

"Um… do you need anything?" She shook her head. I noticed her eyes flick to the necklace that adorned my neck, something Aunt Lanik had done too, but I tried to ignore it. I wasn't thinking about him right now, I couldn't.

"Kya? What if…" She looked back at the battlefield, "What if there are survivors?"

The thought shocked me. It wasn't something I had even considered! The battlefield was so ravaged that it seemed impossible that anyone had survived. Somewhere, deep in my heart, a spark caught and a tiny flame of hope was lit.

"I'm going to get a patrol to look!" I expected her to volunteer but she just nodded listlessly.

I ran to find my Aunt and tell her my plan. When I explained it to her she agreed quickly, and helped me gather the other women.

"Ok ladies, here is the deal. Liluye pointed out that there might be survivors." The women looked as shocked as I had felt. "I am here to get volunteers for a patrol to go find those survivors…" I gazed hopefully at the women, praying that they realized the importance of this.

"I'll go." Kyqqa, an older woman, was the first to speak. Following her lead, several more women spoke up, until they had a sizable patrol.

"Alright. Follow me, and if I tell you to run, RUN" I knew there might still be Firebenders down there, and I was the strongest fighter here, due to my waterbending.

The women nodded and we made our way through the forest, toward the ruins. The smell of acrid smoke was ever-present, and every-so-often a breeze would blow bits of ash through the trees. We burst upon the battlefield quite suddenly, the trees turned to charred stumps. I looked at all the bodies and my courage quailed. I didn't want to see the faces, drudge up the memories. I didn't want to face the death. I wanted to continue the charade that they were merely 'gone' on a 'journey' or something like that. I could tell the other women felt the same; they were looking at me for direction. Inspired by their confidence in me, I told them to search the bodies: if the warrior was dead put them in a designated spot, for burial; if alive find me and I would try to heal them.

After giving out the instructions I embarked on my own search. I passed by the bodies that I didn't explicitly recognize and searched instead for my family. I reached the place where I had seen my father fall and saw his prone form. I knew without looking at the face that it was him, it had to be. I couldn't make myself feel for his pulse, I didn't want to put salt on my wound. It was obvious that he was dead.

I moved on quickly, not wanting to see the images that were pushing on the edges of my vision, the memories of my father's death. I instead searched for my mother. I was hoping she would have gotten out of there as soon as she saw that we were losing. My mom wasn't a coward, but she wasn't an idiot either. I couldn't find her, but I stumbled across the one form I had hoped so much that I wouldn't see.

He was breathing! I couldn't believe it, it was more than I had ever hoped for. His wolf's tail had been pulled out and his hair was covering his face. I knelt down gently and brushed it away, sighing at the sight of his gorgeous face. I felt his pulse: it was weak, but there. Biting my lip to give me courage I moved my gaze down to his ravaged body. Burns laced his torso and legs, and his soft anorak was ripped to shreds. A drop of water splashed onto the blue fabric and I realized that it was a tear. Desperate, I pulled water from the nearby sea, and tried to heal him, but there was too much. I gasped as the water fell off my hand and splashed onto him, useless.

"Oh Helaku. Why did I leave? I should have come and found you. I should have helped you. It's all my fault. All of this is my fault!" I screamed in frustration. I was the one who had alerted the Fire Nation that we were even here. Our tiny little Island of Nuuk, which had previously escaped notice, was now ruined and it was all my fault. I tore my hair out of its braid, the customary grieving action. I lay my head on Helaku's chest and listened to his faint heartbeat.

My reverie was interrupted by a hand on my hair. I lifted my head quickly and saw that it was Helaku's hand. His eyes were open and they were staring into mine. I sighed.

"Oh Tatkret, what did we get ourselves into?" He smiled weakly, and I tried to return it, to no avail.

"I'm so sorry, Akiak. So very sorry." I felt the tears coming back. He reached up gently to touch my necklace.

"It wasn't your fault. Know I love you. I always will. I will be waiting in Qilaq for you."

Qilaq: that was the spirit world. _No!_ I though, vehemently, but I knew it was no use. Our lips met one last time and I wanted to scream with frustration and anger. Why did he have to leave me? What was the point of life without him?

"Kya," hearing my name from his lips was like splashing my face with cold water; it stung and almost hurt, but ultimately it felt good. "Kya, before…." He couldn't make himself say it so I nodded to show I understood,

"Pikatti, your mother's not dead. The Fire Nation captured her."

"But why… why would they want her alive?" This revelation confused me. He shook his head and then grimaced at the effort.

"I don't know. I just saw them taking her onto their ship." I nodded again; it seemed all I was capable of.

"I love you Kesuk. Anana, Cikuq, Miki, Pitsiark, Yuralria, Siku, Takubvik, Shtiya, Quvianuq, Anernerk, Iqniq, Annakpok, Nukilik, Quannik. My Tlate Hiin and my Shila…" His voice faded to a whisper and his hand dropped from my face to my lap, to meet my own hand.

"I will always be your Atka." His eyes faded and his grip fell slack. And I finally let loose the sobs that I had been holding in since the beginning of the Fire Nation's attack, letting myself be consumed by them.

* * *

I stared out at the raging sea, practically feeling the power of the waves. I was so intent on the ocean I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Liluye! What is it, Nukka?"

"I'm worried about you." She spoke bluntly, but kindly.

"I'm honored. But why?" Ok, I admit, it was a stupid question. It got only an eye roll from her.

"Do you want to go fishing with me and Saqqari?" Saqqari was our cousin, a girl about Liluye's age.

"Sure." Fishing would be a nice distraction. I didn't know what I was going to do. All I could do was stay here; help the women raise their children with no hope of ever being able to do the same with my own. All the other men my age had been killed, and the boy closest to me was 6 years younger. It felt stupid and trivial to even think about, but I was certain that the traditional future as a mother and wife would not be possible to me here on Nuuk.

"Kya! Kya!" My sister was staring at me impatiently

"Oh, sorry. I was just thinking." I shook my head, irritated that I had become morose again.

"Yeah, that's why I worry." Liluye spoke softly, as if she were speaking to herself. "C'mon"

* * *

I gazed up at the stars, mournfully. I had made my decision… I would go rescue my mother from the Fire Nation. I did not know how I would manage it, but she was all Liluye and I had left, and I had to save her. I sighed heavily, looking back at the small, ragged encampment we had managed to erect in place of the burnt village. It didn't look like much but it was a start, and working on it had kept all the women from thinking too much about all they had lost. I didn't want to leave, not now. I had become the guard, the warrior, the protector of the little group of refugees. I was the only waterbender left, the only warrior left. I felt guilty for leaving but it was something I had to do. Now, if I could only figure out how to get away.

All of a sudden I spotted a white spot moving across the sky. Alarmed, thinking it was some new Fire Nation technology; I ran and woke some of the women up. We were shocked when none other than the Avatar, on his flying bison, set down in the middle of our makeshift camp. He frowned at the raggedness, not a judgmental frown, but a sad frown.

"Hello, I'm Aang, and these are my friends Sokka and Katara," He motioned to the two people behind him, a boy and a girl. I noticed that they were wearing water-tribe clothes, and the girl carried a water pouch much like mine, one to carry bending water in.

"You're… You're a bender… a waterbender." I gaped at her

"Um, well, I'm the avatar…" Aang gave me a puzzled look

"No, blockhead, she was talking to Katara!" It was the boy, Sokka, who spoke. I nodded my agreement

"Oh, um, sorry…" He glanced back at Katara, evidently embarrassed. She smiled encouragingly, first at him, then at me.

"Yes, I'm a waterbender. A master. As are you, I see." She pointed to my own bending-water pouch.

"Yeah…" I sighed, "The only one left here"

Katara's eyes got wide at my statement.

"Left…" she took in the rough camp, "What… what happened?"

We settled in around the campfire and took turns telling the visitors our tale. When we were done Aang looked miserable.

"So, this is really all my fault. I led the Fire Nation ships to the Northern Water tribe and thus, to Nuuk." Katara frowned,

"No Aang. The Fire Nation was bound to attack the Northern Water Tribe sometime. You saved them."

_He didn't save us_, I thought bitterly. But I couldn't let him feel guilty for something that wasn't his fault either. I bit my lip, prepping myself for what I had to say.

"Actually, it was my fault. The Fire Nation would have passed us completely, except that I was out fishing and practicing my waterbending and they saw me, and followed me back here."

There, the truth was finally out. I didn't know if everyone had known it, or if my father and the council had kept it secret. From the even and supportive looks of the women I was guessing they had known it.

"It was the fault of no one person. We could sit here passing the blame all day. Ultimately, it was the Fire Nation's fault, and they have to be stopped." Sokka's words were firm.

"So… what are your plans?" It was my Aunt Lanik who spoke, as if trying to make small talk.

"I'm going the Earth Kingdom to learn earthbending, then the Fire Nation to learn firebending, and then I'm going to defeat Ozai and bring balance back to the world." The Avatar spoke the words as if he was talking about tomorrow's menu. It made me shiver to hear the Fire Nation spoken of in such calm tones.

Suddenly a thought hit me like a wall of ice.

Fire Nation.

I had my plan.

* * *

I hugged my Aunt Lanik reluctantly.

"Thank you so much, for everything. Without you…" I didn't have to finish the sentence; the tears in her eyes mirrored my own.

"Be careful. You may be a warrior and a waterbender, but that is a harsh world out there. Come back to us Kya." A smile softened her care-worn face. Aunt Lanik was not old by any means, but she had gone through many, many hardships.

"I will. I promise I will." She released me and stepped back, wiping her eyes carefully. When she turned away she revealed the sight I had been most dreading. My sweet Liluye was standing there with a look of pure sorrow on her face. She ran into my outstretched arms, tears flowing.

"Wh… why Kya? Y…you're a…all I ha…ve left." Sobs punctuated her sentences, and her words were muffled by my coat.

"Shhhh, Nukka, it's all right. I'll be back. I'm not all you have left, mother is still alive. I have to save her Liluye; I have to bring her back here!" The words were almost a whisper, as much convincing me as her. She pulled her face out of my coat and took a deep breath.

"I understand, Annakpok. You are as the waves; strong, and determined to reach your goal. I will not stop you, for I want to see that goal as much as you do. I love you sister." She buried her face back into my coat and held me tight. I held her back and sighed at her maturity. When had my little girl of a sister turned into a young woman? I would hate leaving her now, when we needed each other most, but it had to be done. Suddenly knowing that if I stayed any longer I wouldn't leave, I broke our embrace.

"Tell Saqqari that she is a master fisher, and I will miss her. Tell all of our cousins that." Liluye nodded tearfully.

"Goodbye Shila" she smiled sadly

I was reminded so much of my last goodbye, to Helaku. _This is different_, I scolded myself; _I will see Liluye again_. I knew I would, I had to. I gave her a small wave and ran quickly, leaving the tent, and the whole makeshift village behind me.

* * *

"Why is she here?" Sokka was indignant, and I was hurt.

"You could just ask me you know! I AM standing RIGHT HERE!" I was practically yelling. Aang had already told me I could travel with them, I hadn't expected any opposition. Sokka ignored me and looked to Aang.

"I told her she could come. She needs to get to the Fire Nation." Aang yawned.

"WHAT! Why would ANYONE want to go to that place?" He finally looked at me, but it was a look of shock

"We want to," Katara remarked dryly.

"_We _are different! _We _are with the Avatar!"

"It's my mother, she was captured by them. She is probably somewhere in the Fire Nation being tortured right this second, and she might die all because YOU ARE AN ARROGANT, EGOTISTICAL, CHILD!!!" I really did yell that time, and I noticed that Aang and Katara were snickering.

"WHAT'S SO FUNNY?" I whirled on them, then embarrassed that I had continued yelling I repeated it in a quieter tone, "Er… what's so funny?"

"Oh, don't worry, we aren't laughing at you, we are laughing with you. Everything you said was true, and it is rather nice to see Sokka get put in his place every once in a while." Katara smiled kindly, and offered me a hand up onto the flying beast. "Well then, we better get moving!" Sokka grunted as I climbed into the saddle, and moved to the far opposite corner.

What a wonderful way to start a journey.

I watched the Island until I could see it no more. When that moment came I moved to the front, near Sokka.

"I'm sorry I called you arrogant. And egotistical. And…." It was hard, "A child."

He stared at me in surprise

"Really?"

"Well, it would be pretty bad to start off a journey already having an enemy. The Fire Nation is a bad enough enemy, I don't need any more."

He smiled, and I noticed a bit of respect enter his eyes.

"You're right. I forgive you. And, I apologize too. I… well I don't really know why I didn't want you to come. I just… I don't know. I'm sorry about your mother. My mother was killed by the Fire Nation." He stared into space for a few minutes before returning his gaze to mine. "So… truce?"

I held out my hand, "Truce!"

He shook it and then laughed, "I don't even know your name! Aang, how could you not have told us her name?"

I heard Aang take a sharp breath. Why would he do that?

"It's Kymnsshfysha" he muttered. It just sounded like a bunch of letters thrown together. I frowned,

"My name is Kya, Kya of Nuuk." Sokka's eyes grew wide and he gasped.

"No…"

Katara's eyes were wide also, but as Sokka moved away from me, she drew closer.

"That was our mother's name." Her voice was merely a murmur, and she stared unseeingly at the sea.

Wonderful.

* * *

**(A/N)**

**All of the names Helaku calls Kya are Inuit (well, supposedly: I am not Inuit, so I cannot completely and utterly vouch for their utmost authenticity. ****)**

**Here are translations: **

**Akiak – brave  
Anana – beautiful  
Anernerk – Angel  
Annakpok - Free (not caught)  
Cikuq – Ice  
Iqniq – Fire  
Kesuk - water, sky  
Miki – small  
Nukilik - is strong  
Pikatti – companion  
Pitsiark – beautiful  
Qannik – snowflake  
Quvianuq – Joy  
Sakari – sweet  
Shila – flame  
Shtiya - my strength  
Siku – ice  
Tatkret = moon  
Takubvik - apple of the eye  
Tlate Hiin - twinkle upon the water  
Yuralria - dancing one.  
and what she always calls Liluye - Nukka - younger sister.**

**Also, Nuuk is a city in Greenland! **

**A quick side note: I asked my friend and fellow Avatar lover to find a cool Inuit-ish name. She came up with Liluye. I loved it (still do, it is so pretty!) Turns out it means…**

"**Singing Chicken Hawk that Soars…"**

**HA! **** There is a bit of humor in your day! **

**Thanks for reading!  
~LS**


	2. Biisaiyowaq

**OK – So this basically starts at the end of season two. One reason – I haven't watched season three yet, so I can't write about it. Another reason – It is when they are going to the Fire Nation so… yeah! Anyway, just assume that Kya was there through all of season two :-) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar yada yada blah blah**

*************

Sokka analyzed the young girl talking to his sister. She had been traveling with them for months, yet he still hadn't figured her out. She had been there when they had found Toph, when they had lost Appa, and when they had battled the Fire Prince and Princess. She had stuck by them faithfully, using her bending and her general battle knowledge to help them time and time again. He almost laughed at the thought; she didn't look like a warrior at all. She was about 5 ft. tall, with green eyes and the customary blue water-tribe dress. Her hair was medium length, and was not braided or looped, merely held back with a headband. It looked odd to him, though he knew it was a sign of grief.

He frowned. They fought so much, having at least an argument a day, but he didn't hate her at all. No, they seemed to merely fight for the sake of fighting. At least he could look her in the eye now. For the first week he hadn't been able to, due to her name. Somehow even acknowledging her presence reminded him of his mother. Now he could say her name without even flinching. Kya. He liked the way it rolled off his tongue. He blushed… what was wrong with him?

Glancing back at the two of them he was alarmed to notice that Katara was crying. He stood up and made his way over to them, shocked at his sister's emotion.

* * *

I frowned in annoyance when I saw Sokka approaching. I knew that Katara wouldn't want to explain herself, and I would have to make something up. Sure enough he began with,

"What's wrong?" In a rather harsh tone too, though I'm sure he meant well. Katara didn't even bother looking up.

"Hey, Katara, are you ok?" He was at least a bit gentler that time, but he still failed to get a response. Sighing with resignation I looked up at him

"Get lost, Pakak!" Ok, so I might have been a bit harsh too. But I wasn't about to lie for Katara, and it was her responsibility to tell him, so I did all I could.

"What does that even mean?" He muttered, and then continued in a louder tone, "I won't leave my sister in her time of need."

I rolled my eyes, but he ignored me and sat on her other side.

"Katara, dear, what's wrong?" His attempt to be caring was comical.

"She has an annoying brother, that's what's wrong! Go drink some cactus juice!" He actually stuck his tongue out at me, and if I hadn't been so shocked I might have laughed. As it was I just stared at him disbelievingly until I heard Katara's voice.

"Sokka, I'm fine, just leave me alone ok? It's just… girl stuff." She smiled weakly. Sokka rolled his eyes.

"Ok, fine! I get it!" He held his hands up in a gesture of resignation and walked away, shaking his head.

"You have to tell him sometime." I regretted my words as soon as they were said, because they launched Katara into a whole 'nother tirade.

"He won't understand at all! He HATES him! Plus, why do I have to tell him, it's not like it's going anywhere!" Katara started sobbing again.

I sighed. I loved Katara; she had become my best friend. Normally she was so mature and responsible, but now she was acting like a 12 year old. No offense to Toph and Aang, of course. I felt like shaking her, but knew that wouldn't help. Everything that she had thought she felt had come crashing down on her these past few days, and I was her only confidant. I started as Katara stood up.

"I'm an idiot! I'm spending all my time mooning over five minutes of chatter. You guys need me!"

We weren't completely helpless without her, but I don't think that's what she meant…

"I need to get a grip and return to reality! If I see the traitor again I'll tell him what I think of his betrayal…" at this her voice faltered, but she did not stop. "Until then, I'll put it out of my mind! Now come on, dinner won't cook itself!" She moved towards the fire but before she could leave I caught her in a hug.

"I'm proud of you, Ahnah." She reminded me so much of Liluye it hurt. She smiled at me and returned my hug.

"Thanks."

* * *

"So I'm thinking… we need a plan. We can't just walk into the Fire Nation and say 'hey, someone teach me firebending!'" Aang looked around the circle dubiously.

"Ok, ok, I'm on it! Don't worry; the idea man is on the job!" Everyone rolled their eyes at Sokka.

"Not that we doubt your ability to plan, but… I think this was an open brainstorming session!" Katara smiled exasperatedly at her brother.

"Oh, right. Yeah. If you think of an idea just blurt it out! Anyone can…" He grinned, embarrassed.

I mulled it over. How were we going to get into the Fire Nation? Dozens of plans assaulted me, and were promptly shot down by the reasonable section of my brain. It was quite a dilemma. Then suddenly I realized… it wasn't! It was quite simple really!

"Guys!" I got the reaction I wanted; everyone looked up, even Toph. "I've got it!"

"Seriously… it isn't that intricate. We just dress up as Fire Nation citizens and find a firebending master or academy and BAM!" I smiled proudly

Sokka scowled, "I was thinking that… but it seemed too plain and easy."

"Is there anything wrong with easy?" I was rather indignant.

"Well, no… but easy doesn't tend to work out the way it is planned." He seemed reluctant.

"I like her plan. It's solid." This was Toph, putting in her say.

"It definitely won't take too much…" I wasn't sure if Aang's words were positive or not.

"I'm for it as well." Katara smiled encouragingly.

"Fine – guess I'm outvoted. Where are we going to get these Fire Nation clothes?" Sokka smirked.

I would not let a simple thing like that get in the way of _my _plan.

"It may not be the nicest thing, but we'll just steal them." It wouldn't be that hard, honestly.

"Let's go then!"Sokka grinned, and I couldn't help but grin back at his sudden enthusiasm.

* * *

We kept to the shadows. It may be night, and this might be a small town, but we weren't taking chances. It had ended being me and Sokka that came to get the clothes; me because it was my idea, and because I was good at estimating sizes; and Sokka because he was a good warrior and because he said he 'wasn't letting me have all the fun.'

We made our way to the first shop we could find. It was filled with all kinds of cloth and fully made clothes. We picked up things that were plain and simple – we most certainly did not want to appear as royalty.

When we were done we headed back to camp as quickly and silently as possible. Before we reached the first tent (Toph's, in case you care) Sokka stopped me with a light touch on the arm.

"Kya?" I noticed with relief that he didn't flinch as he said my name

"Yes?"

"Good plan."

I marveled that those two words could leave me so happy.

* * *

We had our outfits. We had our Fire Nation hairstyles and mannerisms, all of it down pat. Now it just came down to the start. To take that extraordinarily difficult first step.

The five of us (plus Momo and Appa) stared at the Fire Nation for a long time, not crossing the border. Sokka and I had crossed it when we had stolen the outfits, but this seemed more… consequential. Biting my lip I turned to face the gaang.

"I'm going to get my mother."

With my companions by my side, I stepped boldly across the invisible line.

* * *

**(A/N)**

_**Translations **_

**Pakak**** – One that gets into everything**

**Ahnah**** – Wise woman**

**Palartok**** – is quiet**

**Biisaiyowaq**** – clever person, one who solves problems**


	3. Tavrani Tavra

I stared at the man in front of me with something akin to disgust. I mean, it wasn't like I was asking much! All I had asked was if he had seen a captive woman in a water-tribe outfit, fitting the description of my mother. It wasn't *that* hard of a question! So why the short answer? Why the immediate strange look, and 'um, no…' That, coupled with the questioning glance at Sokka - the friend who had accompanied me on this venture (yeah, he drew the short straw) – was a bit more than I could take.

Ok, so it was all I had ever gotten. Perhaps the question was a bit forward. I mean, it would be a strange sight.

But I couldn't think of anything else to ask! How else would I find her?

"Um, are you going to buy anything?" The man seemed a bit timid. My look turned from 'akin' to pure disgust.

"No thank you; there is apparently nothing for us here!" Turning up my nose, I flounced out. Sokka rolled his eyes and shot a sympathetic look at the merchant, mouthing a quick sorry.

When we had gotten out of earshot of the merchant, he turned his sympathy onto me.

"Sorry we didn't find anything. But uh… what was with the, um…" he seemed at a loss

"Snobbery?" I guessed. He nodded and I rolled my eyes, "Just staying in character!" I pointed at my clothes. "Fire Nation, remember!"

"Oh… yeah. You know they're not—"

I interrupted him, "Save it. I'm not listening to you anyway."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"Anytime. Besides, why are you sticking up for the Fire Nation? They killed your mother! I thought you hated them!"

He winced at the mention of his mother and I felt guilty; I mean it wasn't exactly called for.

"I hate them. I hate them with a passion. But it isn't these poor peasants fault! It is that stupid Lord Ozai and his treacherous off-spring. Believe me, if that whole family perished the Fire Nation would be better off," he frowned and added, "Iroh excluded, I suppose."

"But you have seen their generals and such. Think of Zhao! If the royal family perished he would gladly have taken the throne and continued the war! It is just Fire Nation personality!"

"No, Kya. Look at these people! Do they look deadly?" he waved his arm around the marketplace.

I had to admit, they seemed pretty harmless. In fact, it seemed much the same as an earth kingdom town, except that it was full of red and black instead of green and brown. I sighed with deep reluctance.

"No. No, they don't. But that doesn't mean it is only the royal family that is evil!" I wouldn't lose completely!

"No, it doesn't. What do you want us to do, kill everyone just to get a couple bad guys?"

"If one apple is rotten then don't you throw out the whole barrel?"

"WHAT! The Fire Nation is NOT a barrel of apples!"

"They are similarly colored…" That gave him smile, albeit a reluctant one and I grinned victoriously.

"Fine. They are 'similarly colored.' But Kya…" he hesitated, "Apples don't have personalities, they don't have faces and families and they don't feel love or hurt or…" he stopped, apparently feeling he had made his point

"Yeah yeah, apples aren't people, I already knew that. But I wasn't saying that the Fire Nation was a barrel of apples!" I could feel my voice rising with my frustration and tried (in vain) to keep it low. "What I was TRYING to say was that the Fire Nation is a bunch of weak hearted cowards through which rotten-ness spreads quickly! I'm saying that if you get ONE evil person then that sour-heart will spread. I am SAYING that with just one reprobate a whole town can be corrupted!"

"WHAT!" he practically screeched, "What is your problem?! You… you" Now he was sputtering. "You are insane! I thought I hated the Fire Nation, but you are taking it to a whole new level! KYA! Please! You cannot actually think that that is true! Killing the whole Nation won't help anything! That is what they did to the Air Nomads! You realize you sound JUST LIKE THEM!" I cringed at the truth in his words. Unfortunately, they were said a bit too loud. The townspeople were staring.

"Um… Sokka."

"I don't want to hear it." His eyes were closed; he appeared to be seething.

"No, Sokka… I… um, we need to leave." They were starting to look at bit angry. I think they were seeing through our disguises.

"Kya! We can't leave the Fire Nation until Aang defeats the Fire Lord! What happened to finding your mother? Is your hatred for them really that great?"

"SOKKA! WE NEED TO LEAVE THE TOWN!" his eyes snapped open

"Oh…" Um yeah, they were looking really angry now. Daggers and fighting knives started appearing from hidden folds of cloaks. I grabbed his arm and ran out of the square through the first space I saw. We got out – barely – and Sokka laughed.

"Well… that was fun!"

"Fun? Really? You… you… Deniigi!"

"Let me guess, that means 'Handsome devil'?" He grinned

"No." I was rather short.

"Ok… so… it means 'wonderful, hot hunk'?"

"No." this time it was said through clenched teeth.

"Alright, alright, I've got it! It means, "Person who is so amazing it is beyond my capacity to understand, I must simply bask in his awesomeness!"

I slapped him; lightly, but it was a slap.

"It means Saber-tooth Moose-lion, you… Moose-lion!"

I can't say I was disappointed to have reached the camp…

* * *

Later, with dinner around the campfire, we explained what had happened.

"Sorry you didn't have any luck, Kya." Aang smiled compassionately.

"No problem. I don't know why I think simple merchants would have seen her anyway"

Katara seemed lost, "You guys really revealed your true identities?"

Sokka snickered, "Um yeah… our 'true identities'…"

Toph snickered too, "Wait, you actually slapped him? And called him a Saber-tooth Moose-lion? Wish I were there!"

I grinned at her, even though she couldn't see it. "Yep, it was rather satisfying!"

"So, do we move on to the next village," Aang queried.

"Yeah. And we should probably do it as soon as we wake up tomorrow. Those merchants won't keep their search in town limits, most likely." Sokka's words were depressing. We were all tired of being on the run.

"Sorry guys, it's really my fault," I felt really bad.

"No, it was both of our faults. We were just arguing-"

Sokka was interrupted by a mutter from Toph, "Like you always do!"

"Like you're much different," He muttered back. "Anyway! We were just arguing and forgot where we were!"

I forgot where I was a lot with Sokka.

O my word! Did I just think that! What was wrong with me!

I checked my head for fever and, feeling none, returned my concentration to the conversation.

"It doesn't matter. We'll be fine! Good night everyone, I'm turning in." Katara smiled went to her bedroll. The rest of us followed suit quickly, as there was nothing much to talk about.

Before I closed my eyes I ran back over the argument Sokka and I'd had.

It made me laugh.

* * *

A slight tremor in the earth woke me up. I opened my eyes blearily and saw Toph, sitting up. This confused me because: number one, it was the middle of the night, and number two she was crying.

I had never seen Toph cry in all the time I had known her. It seemed so absurdly out of character that at first I thought it was a dream. A swift pinch assured me that it was quite real, and I realized that something must be really wrong.

I made my over to her quietly.

"Toph, are you ok?" I bit my lip as she turned away and muttered,

"Fine."

"Toph…" I started, "I don't think you're fine. You can tell me about it." I did a mental fist pump when she turned back around and looked at me, not hiding the tears.

"It was a nightmare."

I held out my arms and with only brief hesitation she crawled into them, sobbing onto my chest.

"I dreamed... I…" she stopped and looked up at me.

"It's ok; I won't tell anyone else, not if you don't want me to."

"Please don't. Especially not Aang! It was him that I dreamed about. I… I dreamed that he died, like he did in the catacombs, except this time it was me who had the spirit… earth, I suppose it was. And somehow I was able to heal him. But then Azula was holding me back and she wouldn't let me go to him, to heal him. Then Aang's spirit left him and… and it came to me and he… he hated me! Kya, he spit in my face and told me that I had doomed not only him, but the whole world! Then he…" She blushed.

"Go on, it's alright" I smiled encouragingly, although I was troubled by the dream.

"Then he reached out as if he was going to kiss me but… before he got to my lips he just laughed, coldly, and disappeared. And then you and Sokka and Katara stared at me and… and you had disgusted looks on your face, as if you wanted nothing to do with me. Then I realized that Azula wasn't holding me anymore, she was talking to me, and she was congratulating me for what I had done. She said I… I had killed Aang. Then Aang appeared and said 'Why, Toph?' and he looked so sad… that's when I woke up."

I processed all she had told me, going through it carefully. Suddenly, a thought hit me like an arrow

"Wait… he 'looked' so sad? We were giving you disgusted looks? You mean, you could see in this dream?"

She nodded, "Yes, that was the oddest of all, I have never seen in a dream before. I don't know if you all looked the way you really do or if I was just imagining things based on what I have seen with my feet but… I saw what my dream-me thought was you."

I took this new bit in, quite interested. Then I realized she was still crying.

"Toph, it was just a dream. You would never hurt Aang!"

"But... he, he hated me! Kya… the thing I want most in the world is for Aang not to hate me."

"Toph, he doesn't hate you! Why would you think that!"

"I don't… but how do you know?"

"If he hated you do you think he would consent to learn earthbending from you? Or to travel with you? Personally I think I would find it hard to do either of those things with someone I hate."

"If you say so." She sighed.

"I know so! Look I'll prove it to you!" Standing up from where I had been, next to her bedroll, I walked over to where Aang was sleeping softly.

"Wait, Kya, don't!" Toph sounded panic-y, although she did manage to keep her voice low.

"Don't worry Toph. I'm not going to tell him anything you told me. I'm not going to embarrass you either… I don't think. Just play along."

"Ok…" She sounded worried, and her face reflected that.

"Aang" I shook him softly

"lemmaloneitssleeptimerinow." Yeah, I couldn't understand him either.

"Aang, Appa's in trouble! Hurry!" Ok, so maybe that was a little mean, but I had no choice!

"What, where, who is it?!?" He leapt up with a blast of wind so strong it knocked me off my feet.

"Appa's fine," I grunted from my place on the ground

"Oh… sorry," He said when he noticed I had fallen. He helped me get up sheepishly

"Sorry I had to tell you that. You wouldn't wake up otherwise." I shrugged

"Oh," He repeated. "So why did you get me up?"

"I need your help. Toph had a nightmare and she can't stop crying." I raised my voice a bit on the last part so that she could hear and act accordingly. Aang looked past me to her, and sure enough she was going at it, sobbing and everything. That girl was good!

"So, how can I help?" Aang looked a bit confused

"Well, since you are the 'peacemaker' and everything like that I figured you might be able to help her. Plus…" I lowered my voice confidingly, "I'm really tired and I want to go back to sleep, but I don't want her to be alone." I wasn't really _that_ tired, but what works, works, you know.

"Ok, sure, I'll do what I can!" He nodded and headed over towards Toph, with me following closely behind.

"Toph, Aang is going to stay with you and help you, ok? I'm going back to bed!" I leant down and hugged her tightly

"Go get 'em Uyarak," I whispered in her ear.

As I lay back down in my bed roll I smiled to see Aang put his arm around her. Even when I turned around I could still hear the soft rise and fall of their murmuring.

Sokka's quiet whisper broke through my thoughts

"Good job there."

Another score for Kya!

* * *

The next morning I sidled up to Toph as we were loading Appa

"So… last night…" I waited for her to finish the sentence.

"Yeah… I…" She blushed, "I told him my dream. Well…" I didn't know it was possible for her to blush more, but she did. Her cheeks were scarlet, "I didn't mention the part where he almost kissed me, but everything else I told him. And he said he most definitely doesn't hate me. And he almost said that he… likes me!" The words were said in an awed whisper.

"Way to go kiddo!" I ruffled her hair.

OK, so maybe that wasn't the greatest thing to do. She bent me into a tight box of solid rock.

"Don't call me that! And DON'T touch my hair! Comprende?"

"Yeah," I groaned, "I got it. Now lemme out Toph!"

"Fine" She released the slabs of rock back into the ground. "Um… thanks for your help, last night."

"Don't mention it!" I was glad she wasn't really angry at me for the 'kiddo' thing.

"Ok, I won't!" She grinned, and I rolled my eyes.

"Guys, are you coming, or are you going to sit there gossiping all day?" Katara smiled at us.

"Oh sorry! We're coming!" We climbed up on Appa, and I couldn't help but notice that Toph went to sit by Aang.

* * *

We stopped at the next town we saw and we all went in because everyone needed something.

Katara went to the well to get fill our water skins, Aang went to get some herbs or something that he needed, and Sokka went to go look at a weapons cart, leaving me with Toph.

Toph and I made our way to the first cart in the main street and I gave the man my usual spiel.

"Well…" he stroked his long beard and my heart skipped a beat. "A patrol did pass by here a while ago. It's been about a month…"

I nodded to show that he should go on. That matched up.

"It was a regular sized patrol – five or six soldiers. Only, they were carrying a wagon. It looked like a supply wagon, but I suppose a prisoner might have been in there."

"Where were they headed?" This was more than I had ever hoped for.

"The Capitol I believe…"

Darn. I had hoped against hope that she wouldn't be taken there. It would be nigh on impossible for me to get her out of there, at least not until Aang defeated Ozai.

"Why are you so curious about a prisoner, missy?"

Crap. I hadn't thought about this.

"Um… She…" I blanked, completely blanked.

"Ky…. Kyzana's mom died, and she needs to tell her dad. Her father was the one who captured this prisoner, and she figures that if she finds the prisoner she finds her pop. Asking after a lady prisoner is much more effective then asking after a fire nation soldier, don't you think?" Toph grinned

The merchant chuckled, "Yeah, definitely. Well, I'm sorry about your mother, and good luck finding your dad."

I nodded, "Thanks."

"If you still have anything to ask you might go to that guy," He pointed to a merchant down the line. "He came in a bit after the soldiers and he might know something about them."

"Thank you!" I walked toward the guy he had pointed out, with Toph following close behind.

"Hey, thanks for that back there" I spoke quietly to Toph, "I couldn't think of anything, I was totally empty."

"No problem! I owed you one!" She love punched me.

I was still rubbing my arm when we walked up to the second merchant. He was standing next to a cart piled high with cabbages, and was calling out their virtues quite loudly. When he saw us his eyes narrowed.

"You look familiar. Have you stolen something from me before?"

I shot a glance at Toph, though naturally she didn't return it.

"Um, I've never seen you before. I think you have us mistaken." I was telling the truth.

His face stayed suspicious but his voice was genial as he asked, "Care for a cabbage?"

"Well, actually, I'm here for information. I heard that you came to this town just a little after a patrol did. I was just wondering if you had any information about that patrol…"

"Nobody wants cabbages anymore," he muttered before continuing in a normal tone, "I know that the wagon didn't hold supplies, it held a prisoner! I saw them feed her and such when they stopped for the night. Bet they didn't know I could see them though."

Yes! The previous merchant's words had been verified!

"Thank you; that was all I needed to know!" Impulsively, feeling sorry for him, I added, "I guess we'll take a cabbage…" Toph groaned but I ignored her.

A sudden noise interrupted my purchase and I turned around to see Sokka barreling toward me, followed closely by a Cow Hippo. Sokka was screaming,

"MOVE!!! MOVE!!!"

Finding it wise to comply I grabbed Toph and dove to the side, getting out of the way just in time. Sokka skirted the cabbage cart and kept running, but the Cow Hippo ran right through it, knocking the cart into pieces and sending cabbages everywhere. Luckily for Sokka the cabbages stopped the Cow Hippo: it began to eat them. Deciding it would be wise to get out of the mayhem Toph and I followed Sokka. We were right: the last thing I heard before quitting the town was,

"MY CABBAGES!"

Yeah, I thought I'd recognized him too.

* * *

Back at camp we had to relate our story to Aang and Katara.

"We were talking to the Cabbage guy, and then Sokka comes and… well… Sokka why was a Cow Hippo chasing you?" Toph turned her cloudy blue gaze onto Sokka.

He laughed nervously, "Um…I was just minding my own business at the weapons stall, just checking out this throwing knife and it, um, slipped from my hand and hit the Cow Hippo, and it started chasing me."

Katara rolled her eyes, "We leave you alone for five minutes, and you ruin a poor man's livelihood!"

"Hey, that wasn't my fault, it was the Cow Hippos fault!"

"Whatever! Now Toph, back to what you were saying?" She turned her back on her brother and he frowned

"Um right. Sokka came and then Kya grabbed me and threw me on the ground, which was TOTALLY unnecessary! I knew what was coming! I was getting out of there!" She had cast her furious expression on me, and I found it rather uncanny how she knew exactly where to frown.

I was also faintly embarrassed. I knew she could take care of herself, I just… "Sorry, it was instinct. If it makes you feel any better I would have done it to Aang or Katara too."

"Fine. Anyway as soon as we could we got up and got out of there."

"So you got some information about your mother!" it was Aang who spoke, enthusiastically.

"Yep. But it's not that great." I honestly had no idea how I would free her.

"It's fine! While I'm fighting the Fire Lord you can get your mom!" he smiled, "It works out perfectly!"

"Um, yeah, sure." Wasn't I going to be fighting the Fire Lord too? Didn't everyone have to? There was no way Aang could defeat him alone! I pushed the thought to the back of my mind. Hopefully we wouldn't have to think about that for a while yet.

"So tomorrow we'll officially start heading for the capitol?" Sokka looked around the ring of faces.

"I guess so!" Aang smiled again.

Why was he so smiley? I personally had a headache from the noisy marketplace, and my arm and side hurt from diving into the ground. Not to mention my feet, which were covered in all kinds of blisters from the walking we had been doing. No, I did not feel like smiling. But I did anyway; I gave everyone a weary smile and said,

"We should probably go to sleep. We need to get a good start in the morning." They all agreed and we fell asleep in peace.

Now I knew where my mother was. I knew what I had to do to find her. I also knew that this *almost* peace wouldn't last for long.

* * *

**(A/N)**

**Ok, so I hate it when authors put notes at the end of every one of their chapters! I guess I am just a horrible hypocrite! Anyway, just had to say that the argument between Sokka and Kya was my most favorite thing that I have ever written in my life! It was also very easy to write. I know that if I had to journey with Sokka I would be arguing with him half the time and laughing the other half!**

**Also: watched the first disc of season 3 this week. Hey, looky there, they stole their clothes too! It is pretty much the only option though! Anyway, just wanted to say that anything that is the same is probably unintentional… this really isn't supposed to mirror the 3****rd**** season… it's supposed to be different, but OH WELL**

**ACK – I talk a lot!!**

**(translations)**

**Deniigi – Ok, so obviously it doesn't mean 'Saber-tooth Moose-lion' ;) it means 'Moose'!**

**Uyarak – Rolling Rock :)**

**Tavrani Tavra – Stop Stop!**


	4. Suinnak

_The old man sighed and wiped a wet cloth over his nephew's brow. He wasn't sure how long the younger man could last with this wound. A large gash in the boy's midsection was the wound that worried the caretaker. The man didn't have any medicine, or anything beyond simple water. Oh, to be a waterbender and be able to heal! Or, if they could only find the waterbender. It was a waterbender's name that was on the young man's lips in his feverish state. The old man didn't know what had happened between his nephew and the waterbender, but he knew it had left a great imprint upon the man._

_If only she were here._

_If only, if only. The old man was tired of if onlys. It was time to act upon the 'if onlys.' He would find the waterbender. And he would find her before the only true family he had left perished._

I was a simple villager. A waterbender. A girl. Why, oh why did I have to get caught up with this band of hooligans. This what I was thinking as I listened to Sokka and Aang's five-hundredth excuse for getting kicked out of Kerith, the nearby village. Now we were on Appa's back, fleeing for our lives for the… oh, I've lost count. We'd done it many, many times. How hard is it to simply act _normal_? To go into a town, buy food, fill water skins, and get out! People did it every day without incident. So why did our little band run into trouble in every town we entered?

I was going a bit crazy from it all. I had already decided that next time it would be Katara and I who went to town, because I trusted no-one else. Not even Toph. She had her share of temper and bad manners.

I was so engaged in trying to figure out how it was possible to have to run away from every single village in the Fire Nation that I didn't notice Appa landing, or the others getting off. It took a shout from Katara to get me back to my senses.

"Kya? Earth to Kya! Are you all right?" She was giving me a worried look

"Yep, fine. Just thinking."

"Ok then… are you going to help us set up camp?" Her words were, miraculously, not accusing. I nodded and proceeded to do as she asked.

"We're going to go get firewood!" Aang waved a hand to us, as did Toph, and they headed off into the woods.

"Well, at least they're doing something!" Katara shrugged and finished setting up her tent.

"I'm going to go find some food." Sokka grabbed his boomerang and turned towards the direction Toph and Aang had gone

"In the woods?" Katara frowned.

"Uh, meat!"

"Oh, right, sorry!" She gave him an apologetic smile but he just rolled his eyes and walked off.

"Everyone's so testy!" She frowned again, "I don't get it!"

"Come on, Kat! We can't stay in a town for an hour without having to run for some reason or another, we're tired, hungry, and Aang still hasn't found a firebending teacher! We're allowed to be a little grumpy!"

"I suppose," She shrugged and ran a hand through her loose hair, "Ugh. If you don't mind, I'm going to go wash up."

"Sure, go ahead. I'll start dinner, or at least the veggie portion of it." I gathered up my supplies; a bowl, some vegetables, and water for a soup.

"Thanks!" She ran off toward the river.

I busied myself in my cooking. It wasn't something I was amazing at, but I managed. I hummed a little song, one of those nomad songs, I think. I smiled, remembering that adventure. Man, those nomads were hysterical, but not as hysterical as Sokka's reaction to them. I chopped cabbage absentmindedly as I became lost in memories.

_We were walking together, into the caves. We were both skeptical, but the fire nation soldiers behind us left very few options. _

"I'm not sure about these Nomads. I think they've had a bit too much Pijiu, if you know what I mean." Sokka frowned

"Oh Sokka, lighten up! I think they're funny!"

"Yeah, it'll be so funny when we get trapped and die in these caves!" He crossed his arms to add emphasis

"Stop being so pessimistic!" I shot him a look

"I'm not being pessimistic, I'm being realistic!"

"Oh please!" I smacked him on the arm, an action which caused him to stick his tongue out at me

"Hey, you guys, come on!" Katara was at the front of the pack, frowning every so often at the walls.

"Coming!" I stuck my own tongue back out at Sokka with a giggle as I ran forward towards Katara.

_That wasn't even the best part. The best part was later, when the Nomads were singing to Sokka. _

"Don't let the cave in get you down, Sokka!"

I was actually, literally, rolling on the floor.

"Kya, please! My misery is not that funny!" He made a 'hmph' sound and crossed his arms again.

"Oh, Sokka, it so is!"

He facepalmed.

_Perhaps the very best part was when we had given up, practically. The nomads were sitting on the ground; Chong was strumming, depressed, on his guitar. Suddenly he stood up;_

"Hey, this is a whole tunnel about love, right?"

Sokka and I exchanged glances, and then nodded.

"Well you two are like, lovers, right?"

We exchanged another, more horrified, glance and shook our heads.

"Well, you should be! You guys are so adorable! Anyway, maybe if you kissed, ya know… it might set something off!"

"I'm not going to kiss him!" I moved a couple steps away from Sokka, just for good measure.

"Yeah, I wouldn't kiss her for a million copper pieces!"

"Thanks for the compliment," I turned his favorite tool, sarcasm, against him.

"I didn't mean it like that… I… uh… Chong! Why don't you and Lily kiss? You're married right?" Sokka changed the focus expertly.

"Well yeah, man, but we're like, old! You guys are so young, and adorable! Your love is like, fresh and new! Ours is old, the caves already know we're in love!"

This made absolutely no sense to me.

"Look, we might die! Would you rather die than kiss each other?"

We exchanged yet another look.

"I suppose not," I admitted

"It would just be… weird," Sokka scratched the back of his neck in classic awkward fashion.

"Yeah, weird," I echoed.

"Kiss her, Kiss her, Kiss her, Kiss her!" Chong started chanting and soon all the nomads were helping him.

"Guys, really, don't –" Sokka was interrupted because they started singing.

"Kiss each other,  
Sokka and Kya,  
Sokka and Kya,  
Kiss each other,

We might die,  
If you don't kiss,  
Plus you're adorable,  
So kiss each other,  
Plleeeeeaaassseee"

He finished with a giant grin, obviously waiting for the applause that the other nomads soon provided.

"Guys, seriously, we're not –"

"Kya!" Sokka turned to me

"What?"

"Let's just do it, ok? We don't have to make it… uh… long… just… uh…" He gulped, "Uh, well, I mean…"

"Fine!" I leaned in and gave him a kiss that lasted about one nanosecond. More of a 'peck' really. His whole face and neck turned red, but I stayed nonchalant.

"See?" I turned to Chong, "That didn't work! Got any other brilliant ideas?"

_A sudden rumbling stopped him from saying anything, and two badgermoles burst out of the ground. As I'm sure you've heard, they saved us. _

I turned back to where I was stirring the soup, smiling at my remembrances. It had been a bit awkward for about a week, but Katara and Aang were being awkward too, so it wasn't as noticeable. We'd all gotten over it soon enough.

I wondered why all my happiest remembrances involved Sokka. It was really odd. I stopped stirring for a moment, denial rising up within me.

That was so not why… _so not why_.

"Kya!"

I was more than happy to have my thoughts interrupted, no matter what Katara had to say. She could tell me that Azula and Ozai were here to kill us all and I'd probably still be happy. Probably.

"Kya, I need your help!"

I stared at her in shock. She was just in her top and her pants. Her hair was dripping and she wasn't wearing her overskirt or any of her jewelry.

"Why didn't you dry your hair?"

She frowned and reached back to feel her hair, "I didn't have time I guess! It doesn't matter anyway!" she flicked the water from her hair with one quick move, then pushed a headband into it; "Please just follow me?"

"Sure! But where are we going?"

"Um… someone is injured in the woods; I need your help to heal him!"

"Ok!" I bent some water onto the fire so the soup wouldn't burn, "Let's go! What kind of wound is it?"

"A knife gash!" she replied, already running for the woods

"Typical. Did you check to make sure there weren't any disgruntled men about? We could be walking into a trap, or something!"

"Don't worry, it's safe!"

I followed her, barely keeping up.

She skidded to a stop when she reached the water's edge. A small figure was lying by the water, and another one was bent over him. I moved toward the figures, only to stop with a jolt when I recognized them.

"Katara? Katara!" I hissed her name as she ran up to the two men.

"Kya, come on! Please!"

"Katara, don't you recognize them?" I gaped at her; she was already pulling water from the stream.

"Of course I do! Kya, please help me! Ignore their identities! This is a dying man and we need to save him!"

I let my conscience war with my anger and grudge for a few minutes, until Katara screamed at me,

"Kya, get over here _now_! I didn't run all that way so you could get into an ethical battle with yourself!"

I clenched my teeth and ran to the other side of the man, pulling water from the stream as I ran.

"I'll have you know I am extraordinarily mad at you for making me do this. I disagree with every movement I am making right now," I practically spat at Katara, but she remained calm.

"I don't care. I can't let him die, and you're the only option." As she spoke her hand worked on the giant gash in his stomach, she concentrated so that she could knit the muscles together.

I let a fierce scowl dominate my face, but I kept my mouth shut. I worked with her, knitting and healing. After a few minutes we had done all we could. Katara took a giant white sheet she'd grabbed in camp and ripped it into strips, wrapping them around his midsection as a bandage. When she finished she sat back on her heels and surveyed her work, and the man opened his eyes slightly.

"Katara?"

"Yep, I'm here. You can go back to sleep; I know you'll wake back up." She smiled and patted his shoulder as he obliged

The older man turned to her with an elated look;

"Oh thank you Miss Katara! I knew you would be able to help him! He kept saying your name; I knew the spirits were talking to him, or something! There's not much I can offer you, I know… in fact I'll probably have to ask you if we can sleep in the shelter of your camp tonight –"

"Katara," I interrupted him, but he did nothing except smile bemusedly, "I need to talk to you. In _private_"

She frowned, but she nodded and got up to follow me a few yards away.

"I do not believe you!"

"If all you're going to do is berate me for helping someone in need I'm leaving!"

"I…" I clenched my fists in anger, "I just want the story."

"Fine, that's reasonable enough. But we don't have to stand here and talk about it. Let's get back to camp where it's more comfortable." She turned to walk back to the men but I stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. As soon as I touched her she jumped away.

"Kya! What on earth! You burnt me!" She turned to her shoulder which was, sure enough, red.

"I… sorry, I don't know how that happened. Sometimes healing leaves my hands hot. I didn't mean to hurt you."

She flashed me a glance and healed her barely singed shoulder with a quick movement of her fingers.

"Be more careful next time. You may be mad, but there's no need to cause more wounds." She stalked back to the men, obviously annoyed.

I followed her with just as much annoyance. I was not letting these… double crossers into our camp without a complete explanation, and I said as much.

"Katara, listen to me. Iroh fought with us, perhaps, but he helped his nephew search for Aang for months. Zuko does not even have one good deed to his name. He double crossed us, attacked you, and allowed Azula to kill Aang. He broke your heart, Katara, or have you forgotten how you cried over him? You have more reason to hate him than anyone, save Aang perhaps. How could you just let him into camp, as if it were Ba Sing Se again? As if you _trusted_ him! How _could _you, Katara?"

She turned away angrily, "You don't know what my feelings are, Kya. Don't presume so much."

"I can presume what I want. Don't attack me for it, I'm trying to change. I want the story; that is all I ask."

"Fine," She huffed, "I was taking my bath when I heard Iroh shout my name. Luckily I was underwater, because he was standing on the bank." She shot her own bemused smile at him and he shrugged;

"I thought you were just swimming! With clothes on!"

She rolled her eyes, "Right! Anyway, I told him what I was doing and he turned away so I could get dressed. As I dressed he told me that Zuko was dying and would I help him please? That's why I only got as far as what I needed to cover me before I followed him here to Zuko. I tried to heal him, but it didn't work. Nothing was working, so I came to get you. And that's it!"

"You didn't even ask how he got wounded? Or why they were here, close to us? Or where the heck Azula was? Because she's probably back at our camp right now, with the others, waiting for us!" I tried to hold back, really I did!

"Sorry for being the slightest bit trusting! There was no time for an interrogation!"

"Well maybe you should have been more cautious! It's things like these that kill people! You can't trust _anyone_, Katara, especially people who have already broken your trust many times over! I can't believe you just –"

"Excuse me?" This was Iroh, jutting in. I suppose it was only fair; I had interrupted him earlier.

"Yes," I was icy

"Well, I can tell you our story, if it would help. Azula isn't anywhere near, at least I hope not. Though I don't fault your reluctance to trust us… we haven't been the most trustworthy, eh?" He chuckled, though I didn't find it very funny.

"Fine, tell your story," I conceded.

"Zuko and I have broken away from Azula, and I'm afraid there's no going back this time. He went through a lot. He knew that the Avatar was still alive, he didn't even kill the child, yet Azula lied to their father, told him that Zuko had killed the Avatar. Not only that, but Zuko found out that Avatar Roku was his great grandfather, his mother's grandfather, and that Sozin had killed Roku. All in the space of a week. I think he felt bad about betraying Miss Katara as well… he mentioned her once or twice. Anyway, only two weeks after the battle in the catacombs, Zuko broke me out of jail and we tried to run away. Azula found us though, when we were trying to get out of the main wall. Her friend Mai shot Zuko, with a knife, and that's where he got this wound. I tried to help him, used every remedy I knew, but it didn't help. Plus, he kept saying Katara's name. So I decided to come find you guys. I knew you could help him. Plus, I think he had decided to help the avatar, when we ran. That's what it seemed like, at least. Is that convincing enough?" He gave me a desperate look

I massaged my head with my finger tips.

"This is all a giant headache. I suppose we really have no choice but to let you into our camp. But we'll be watching you, and as soon as he wakes up I plan on having a long talk with him. Something along the lines of 'I'll be watching you, and if you make one misstep I'll kill you then and there.'"

Iroh nodded, "I understand."

Katara looked practically gleeful.

I really didn't understand that girl.

"All right Katara. Explain, and fast." We finally had a moment alone. As soon as the boys and Toph had gotten back from hunting (It was so productive. They got… a tiny bird. Simply wonderful, that trio. Please note the sarcasm) it had been mayhem. They had interrogated us to the point where I nearly snapped their heads off. I had screamed that they were driving me insane, and stalked away. Meanwhile Katara had apologized and said I'd had a hard day (understatement of the week) and followed me. Now she was about to explain her quickness to trust, and her joy at having Zuko in the camp.

Or so I hoped.

My hope was justified!

"I… something besides just talking about our moms happened in the catacombs."

"Naw, really? 'Cause, you know, I totally thought that evil people just woke up with the name of their mortal enemy on their lips. And then, I was sooo sure that the aforementioned mortal enemy was all nice and chummy with the aforementioned evil person. I mean, isn't that the way these things work?" It might have been the *slightest* bit over the top. I did feel bad when she winced.

"He's not evil."

Really? That was all she had to say?

"He betrayed us, Katara. He practically killed Aang. At least, he did indirectly. There is no doubt about it. How many times do I have to say this? I am really tired of yelling at you." I'll admit, he was good looking, even with the scar. But that was about his only good quality. And that was nothing to base a relationship on.

"He… he has had a change of heart!"

"For what, the 5th time? When is he going to change back? How long will it last this time?" He deserved all of my criticism.

"No, for good this time. You heard Iroh! He is not changing sides again. Kya! Please, I thought I could at least confide in you!"

Guilt trip. Nice move. Now, I felt pretty awful. I had tried to be her confidant. Toph and I were the closest things she would have to best friends for a while. And I was just like her; a waterbender who had lost her family and had to leave her home. By all rights I _should _be her best friend. But then she had to go and pull a thing like this…

I realized she was looking at me expectantly, waiting for an answer to her exclamation I suppose.

"Fine. Tell me your story and then I will judge."

She nodded, "Thank you. Now… we were talking about our mothers, like I told you before, and then… he just… I… I don't really know how it happened," She had to take a breath to steel her for the next words.

"I was touching his scar, and then I offered to heal it. With the spirit water. And then… before he could answer yes or no…"

"Aang and Iroh found you," I finished. I knew that part already.

She nodded, "They found us. Then Azula was there, and then the fight, and... the betrayal. And after that I hated him so much. I despised him with every fiber of my being. I wanted to stick ice spikes through his heart. "

I nodded. Finally, she had been showing some sense.

"But then, suddenly, he was all I could think about. I dreamed about healing his scar, about him holding me, and then I'd wake up and cry because it wasn't true. I don't understand it. Every time I thought of his face I'd yell at myself. I yell traitor, betrayer, liar, and other things. But it never worked." She looked at me, blushing faintly.

"You… you dreamt of him?"

"Yeah. And when I saw him today, lying there, all I could think about was those dreams and how, if he died, they would be even more impossible than they are now."

This was quite a bit to process. Still, only one question was left in my mind.

"Katara…" This was a bit embarrassing. "Do you… love that… Itigiaq?" Well, I'd said it!

She squirmed nervously.

"I… I really don't know." I could tell it was the truth.

Well. Bad day indeed.

.


	5. Piosurinerk

I watched the sun rise in silence. I never spoke when watching the sunrise. It felt… wrong.

Not that I watched the sunrise often. I was a late sleeper, and laziness was perhaps my worst quality. Perhaps this was why it felt so special when I did get to watch the sunrise.

This morning I had a companion in my sun-watching. A silent figure sat next to me, close but not too close, watching the sun with reverence. I turned to look at him, bathed in the sunlight. He seemed to be fine. A couple of healing sessions from both Katara and me was all it had taken to fix his wound. I let out a small puff of air, ruffling my loose hair. The sudden noise caused him to look at me. I saw sorrow and humility in his gaze, and I knew what he wanted.

I couldn't forgive him. I didn't care what Katara said, or what she did, Zuko would always be the enemy to me. Always. I turned back to the sun and saw that it had fully emerged from the horizon.

"It's like birth. Every morning the sun is reborn." I said it before I realized who I was talking to. Shoot. I wasn't supposed to be talking to him!

"Like the Avatar," He replied. Really? That was what he thought of?

"Is Aang all you ever think about?"

"I think about Katara quite more often." He gave me a nervous smile.

"I'm not kidding. Even now, when you think you are 'good' your thoughts still go to Aang. I think you are lying." Blunt much? I didn't beat around the bush now, did I? He looked a bit shocked.

"I'm not lying! Ask Toph! Ask anyone! They all trust me! Why can't you? What did I ever do to you? Nothing!"

"The Fire Nation killed my father and ruined my village. Plus, they captured my mother!"

"It's not the Fire Nation Kya! It's the Fire Lord! My Father! He is the bad one!"

"Exactly! Your father! And you wonder why I don't trust you!" I stood up and glared at him.

"What! I am nothing like my father!" He stood up too, and started yelling at me, "Nothing! I am a completely different person! How dare you compare us!"

"I can compare whomever I want to compare! Childhoods shape children, Avioyok!"

"Maybe that is why they call them childhoods! You're so smart, aren't you?"

"What? Where did that come from? And yes, I am!"

"ARRGHHH" He clenched his hands into fists. "WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO? I don't get you! I am working my butt off to get you to trust me! You could ask me to bomb the capitol and I'd probably do it, just to gain your trust! What is wrong with you!"

"I gave you my reasons." I had stopped yelling, and instead my voice was cool and emotionless.

"I think I realize your problem now." He calmed down too, "I am not the Fire Nation, Kya. Until you realize that, you will never trust me. I regret that.

"You are the Fire Nation Zuko. You are their crown prince, their honor-less heir." It was a mean jab.

He bowed his head, "I have found my honor. I have found it in doing the right thing."

I groaned in frustration, "That's a bunch of bison."

"Whatever you say. I know you won't trust me until you come to terms with your own hate." He turned and walked back to camp.

I watched him walk away, seething with anger and annoyance. So much for my nice relaxing sunrise.

* * *

"So, there I was, and this Saber-Tooth Moose-Lion cub was sitting right on top of me! I mean, _right _on top of me! And I couldn't move my arms! So, I promised it that I wouldn't ever eat meat again if it would help me get out, but it didn't believe me. So, I promised it that I wouldn't ever eat meat OR use sarcasm. It still didn't believe me, but luckily Aang came and then… well a lot more things happened but I got out. But, since that cub didn't help me, I didn't have to keep my vow!" Sokka took a giant bite of the strip of meat he was holding. "As you can tell!"

"Sokka, don't talk with your mouth full." Katara's response was almost automatic, and it made us laugh more than Sokka's story did.

"Didn't you give that cub a name?" Toph grinned mercilessly and Sokka blushed.

"Um, yeah… I um… I called him… fuuucpffs."

"What? I couldn't hear you." Toph's grin got bigger.

"FOO-FOO CUDDLY POOFS!" He screamed into her face.

"Ok, ok got it!" we all laughed, and Sokka's blush got bigger.

"I think it is sweet!" I felt kinda bad for making fun of him.

"Really?" his voice was almost a squeak, which made his blush EVEN bigger.

"Sure!"

"Um, thanks…"

"Ok, guys, sorry to break up the love fest, but I'm going to bed. We should wake up early tomorrow and start moving again." Zuko pushed himself up off the ground and turned towards his sleeping pallet.

"Excuse me?" I stood up too, angry.

He turned back around to face me, exasperation evident on his face. "I said –"

"I know what you said. What makes you think you can tell us when we should go? You are the least qualified for that position. I would listen to Momo's instruction before I listened to yours!"

"Look, I know you hate me. I was just expressing an opinion that I'm sure everyone else felt."

"I actually quite like it here! I would like to stay another day or so."

"While you play around here, your mother is getting tortured, or worse." He winced when the words came out, and I gasped.

"How dare you! How DARE you!" I grabbed water from the nearby river (now I realized why I liked this place) and shot it toward him. It was a quick, unthinking move, and it really could do no damage. He just got soaked.

Shaking water from his hair, he sighed. "I'm sorry. It was a stupid thing to say."

"STUPID? It was a horrible thing to say!" I couldn't believe he thought he could just repent his way out of this!

"It was. I sincerely apologize." He bowed his head.

What? I raised my arms and drew water from the river, for another attack (One that was a bit more painful, perhaps). Suddenly, Sokka and Toph were on either side of me, grabbing my arms and stopping my bending. The water splashed back into the river, ineffective.

"Guys! Stop! Let me hurt him!" I struggled, but they were strong.

"Do you really think this is getting anywhere?" Sokka spoke quietly.

"It is making me happy," I growled.

"Kya, stop!" Toph bent rock handcuffs around my wrists, like the Dai Li.

"What are you doing!"

"You need to seriously calm down! You're going crazy!"

I was. I could barely see, I was so angry.

"Pilangitok," I muttered

Shaking my head, I cleared my thoughts and, instead of Zuko, thought about what was important to me. I saw Nuuk and my Aunt Lanik. I saw Liluye. I saw my mother. And, I saw the Gaang (I had really liked that name, though it hadn't stuck with anyone else.) The faces of Aang, Toph, and Katara flashed in my brain. Even Appa and Momo were in there. Last came Sokka. I noticed that he stayed a bit longer than anyone else. Confused, I opened my eyes and saw him looking at me, concern marring his normally happy face.

"Are you alright?" He gave me an uncertain smile.

"Yep, I am now. You can take these off Toph."

She nodded and bent the cuffs off. "You good, Siku?"

I laughed at the name. I had taught her a bit of my native language, and apparently she had remembered enough of it to nickname me.

"I'm good, Siarut"

She gave a laugh of her own. So she had been paying attention during all those lessons!

I turned back to face Zuko and saw that he was talking quietly to Katara and his Uncle. Aang was standing nervously in between us.

"It's like a boxing match. He has his coaches and I have mine, and Aang is the referee." I gave another laugh, but this one was a bit dryer.

Toph echoed my laugh, "Yeah, but if you guys start boxing then I'm putting the handcuffs back on!"

"Don't worry. I'm done fighting him."

"Really!" Sokka looked relieved. "Like, for good?"

"Yes. He was right. All along." I sighed. Stupid Pride.

"So…" Sokka motioned with his hands toward Zuko. "Are you going to tell him this nice little revelation?"

"You seem to be a bit too happy that I was wrong."

"Hey, it is nice, for once. Even if I am not the one who is right." He shrugged.

"Deniigi!" I smacked him on the arm.

"I was just being honest!" He grinned

"Ok. Yes I am going to tell him." Gosh, this was harder than I thought.

Toph love punched me, "Go on! He isn't getting any righter!"

"More right," I corrected automatically.

She rolled her eyes, "Whatever, just go!"

I walked away from Toph and Sokka reluctantly. The few feet between me and Zuko suddenly felt like yards. I passed Aang and he gave me an encouraging smile. I smiled nervously back. Then Zuko was in front of me, and I was talking, and it was all rather quick.

"I'm sorry." I bowed respectively to him. "I was wrong. Completely wrong. I… I can see that you have… changed." This was really hard. "I'm sorry for calling you honor-less." This got some great looks from the others. "I'm sorry for attacking you. I'm sorry for not listening to you." Did I have to go on?

Apparently not. He bowed back, and I was a slight bit shocked at the gesture.

"I forgive you, but I need to apologize too. That remark about your mother. It was awful and uncalled for, and I was incredibly out of line by saying it."

"I… I forgive you." I held out my hand, "Friends?"

He pulled me into a hug. "Friends!"

I saw Iroh's face, and his simple expression of joy and pride made me so happy.

Sokka clapped, "Well! That was exciting! Now, who's for some shut-eye?"

* * *

(A/N) – i-amawriter .blogspot .com/2010/03/shila-chp4-piosurinerk .html (add http:// and delete the spaces before .blogspot & .com & .html)


	6. Alroyok

A few days later we were sitting around the campfire eating dinner. Iroh had gone to a nearby town to get some vegetables, spices, and some tea, I believe. Zuko went to get something from the food sack on Appa's saddle, and Katara followed him. When they were gone Aang put his arm around Toph.

"Whoa! What is going on here?" I raised my eyebrows.

Aang blushed, "Well, we've sorta been keeping our relationship a secret because… well… I think Katara likes me, or she did, and I don't want to make her uncomfortable."

All of our heads turned to where Katara and Zuko were rifling through the food sack. Her hand was on his arm, and while we were watching he said something that made her laugh.

"Um, Aang, I don't think you have to worry about that." Sokka looked back at his sister, with a concerned glance.

"Yeah… I guess not!" He smiled and pulled Toph closer.

"Aren't they like twelve? Isn't that a bit young?" I was whispering to Sokka, who was still watching Katara.

"Yeah, very young. Practically babies."

"Sokka! Katara is fine!"

"But…" He tore his gaze away, reluctantly.

"I thought you liked Zuko…"

"It doesn't matter if I like him or not, that is my baby sister!" He frowned petulantly.

I patted him on the shoulder, "You're such a good brother. Very sweet."

"Hmmph." He crossed his arms as Katara and Zuko made their way back to the warm fire.

"Sooo… where have you been all this time?" He gave them the evil eye.

"Sokka, you Pakak!" I smacked him.

"Um, we were just getting food… why?" Katara gave her brother the _what is wrong with you _look, and he shrugged.

"Just wondering."

"We don't have any meat. Um… could you go get some?" Zuko didn't _seem_ like he was trying to get rid of Sokka.

"Naturally! Meat _is_ my specialty!" He stood up, obviously in better spirits, and went to get his boomerang.

"I… I think I'll go with him." The prospect of being stuck here with these two lovey-dovey couples was not exactly an enticing one.

Toph nodded, "Have fun!"

"Um… thanks?" Whatever that meant.

* * *

"So… what kinds of meat are there around here?"

"You don't need to talk, ya know. In fact, it would probably be better if you didn't."

"Oh."

"Sorry, didn't mean to sound harsh."

"Um… you didn't."

Now what? I had been hunting before, but I wasn't particularly good at it. In fact, I was pretty awful. Now I was thinking that maybe being stuck in the middle of lover central might have been the better option.

"Look!" Sokka spoke in a low whisper, and his finger was pointed at a Koala Sheep.

"Is that good meat?" I kept my voice at a volume that matched his.

He nodded, "Watch and learn…"

With a quick flick of his wrist, the boomerang flew at the Koala Sheep. It severed the head, and then flew back into Sokka's waiting hand.

"Disgusting." It really was, "But impressive."

He grinned, "Yep!"

He went and collected the sheep and we took it to the river to clean it off. As he went through the arduous process of readying it for cooking, we talked. We could see the group around the campfire, laughing and telling stories.

"They look happy." Sokka didn't sound bitter, or jealous.

"Yep. They are."

"You were right."

"I know. But about which thing?"

He smiled, "Toph and Aang. They are really young."

"Yeah… I mean a relationship? They're children!"

He shrugged, "They only have to wait four years until they are marrying age. They should be able to stay together that long, if they want to be together for the rest of their lives."

His words did make sense.

"I guess."

"What about you?"

"What about me?" I looked from the campfire group to him, confused.

He blushed, "Are you betrothed? Or… do you have a… suitor? You… you are wearing that necklace. Is it yours, or your mother's? Katara wears our grandmother's…" he trailed off, obviously thinking he had said too much.

I sighed. I had been waiting for this question, and was surprised that it had been so long before he asked. "No, it's mine. I was betrothed."

"Oh."

He focused back on his work.

"I can tell you about him, if you want." I found that I wanted to.

"Ok." He gave me an encouraging smile.

"His name was Helaku. He grew up on my island, with me. We were always friends. And then… when I turned sixteen…"

My mind turned back to that day. It was my birthday. I remembered the birds singing in the trees, the fact that the sky had been blue. I remembered the sweet smell of the flowers my mother had picked for me, and the beautiful red and blue bracelets that Liluye had made for me (with a little help from my mom) that I still wear.

I remembered when Helaku came by, and asked me to take a walk. I remembered his smile and his strong hand in mine. I let myself get lost in the memory.

We walked to the shore and he told me a story from the day before, when he had been fishing. He told me about how he and my father had been sitting there when all of a sudden a massive fish just jumped into the canoe. He told me how they had immediately grabbed it, and put it in their bag, and how it would feed our families for days.

I lived on his laugh. It was loud and beautiful, and I could listen to it all day. Suddenly he gave me a serious look, and pulled something out of his pack. I couldn't quite tell what it was, but before I knew it he was holding it out, and it was a betrothal necklace.

"Kya… Kya I love you… I"

I didn't let him finish. I jumped into his arms, and told him that yes, of course, I loved him too and I never wanted to be with anyone else.

That was the happiest day of my life.

"Kya?" I realized that Sokka was waiting for me to finish.

"Sorry. Yes so… when I turned sixteen he proposed, and I accepted."

"So… what happened?"

I went back to the day when I had been spotted by the Fire Nation. I had gone straight to my father and the council, but after that, I had gone to Helaku.

He had held me, and told me that it would be alright, it wasn't my fault. He said we were a big island, surely they would have found us eventually. He said we would beat them.

I knew it was futile. I had seen the fleet.

Still, he comforted me.

Then, before the battle, he had been the last person I talked to. I still remembered his words.

"I love you Shila. We'll get through this. I'll see you after the battle. We still have a wedding to get to!"

I had smiled, but it had been weak, and he had noticed.

"Do not fear. Akiak, Shtiya." He spoke in our native tongue often, and had a multitude of nicknames for me. It was one of the many things I loved about him.

"Pikatti Nukilik." I had stared into his wonderful blue eyes. He had held me close, and we had stayed like that until the gongs rang, signaling the Fire Nation were upon us.

"I'll see you. I love you." He had held onto my hand until the last possible moment.

"I love you too." It had been horrible, having to walk in the opposite direction from him.

The next time I had seen him was on the destroyed battlefield, when he had… no, I couldn't say it… I…

"Kya?"

I kept forgetting about Sokka.

"What happened Kya?"

"When the Fire Nation attacked… he died."

I said it.

He sighed, a sigh of empathy.

"I… my love died too."

"I'm sorry." What else is there to say?

"Her name was Yue, and she was the princess of the Northern Water Tribe. She was betrothed, but her fiancé was a giant oaf. She loved me and I loved her."

"It never works, does it?" I stared at the running river morosely.

He continued on as if he hadn't heard me.

"She gave up her life for the moon. She became the moon spirit. She sacrificed herself for waterbenders. She was… amazing."

"Yeah." I felt water running down my cheeks, and quickly let my hair cover my face. Then I noticed he was crying too. "I miss him every day." I couldn't stop the words from coming out

"I know, I miss her every day too."

"Well, is this the gloomy side?"

We jumped at Iroh's voice. He had a sack, presumably full of his purchases, and he wore a sad smile.

"We…" I started to protest but Sokka spoke up first.

"No, it is the side of remembrances. Of lost love and of love that will never be forgotten."

The words were strangely poetic, and I was shocked to hear them from him, no offense meant of course.

Iroh sighed.

"I believe I belong on this side." He pulled something from his bag, "Cabbage?"

We accepted the cabbage leaves, and chewed in silence, each engaged in our own memories.

"He was my only son." Iroh's voice was scratchy. "And when he died…"

Sokka and I both leaned on him, gently. The Koala Sheep was forgotten, lying half-skinned on the side of the river. We listened to Iroh's tale of his siege on Ba Sing Se, and how he got the news of his son's death.

We cried more.

When Iroh was done he gave a sad smile.

"Now I have Zuko. I love him like a son, though he might not know it."

"I think he does. He loves you too, very much." I hugged Iroh. Somehow, he wasn't anywhere close to evil in my mind, despite being Fire Nation.

"I wrote a lullaby for Lu Ten. I've never sung it for anyone but him… but I think you two… you'll appreciate it." He got up and got his Pipa from his bag. I found myself leaning on Sokka, and surprisingly, I didn't mind.

Iroh started singing, and I was shocked by his voice. It was beautiful

"Leaves from the vine  
Falling so slow

Like tiny, fragile shells  
Drifting in the foam.

Little soldier boy,  
come marching home.

Brave soldier boy,  
Comes marching home"

He finished, choking on sobs.

We cried with him, letting our tears fall freely, mourning the ones we had lost.

We sat there until the other four came up, gasping at our state and asking what was wrong.

Iroh explained and they sighed and scolded us for being so melancholy and dreary.

"You don't understand." I said. "You have not lost one you loved dearly. Not… not in the way we have."

Sokka nodded. "Everyone has lost someone in this war. But…"

Katara came and hugged her brother.

"We don't know, Sokka. But we love you still."

Zuko spoke up, "You are right; we have no idea the pain you face daily." He hugged his uncle. "But we are always here, do not forget that."

Toph barreled into me, practically knocking me flat with her hug.

"You know I love you, right Aga?"

I let my tears fall freely into her hair, "I love you too Buniq"

"Come on, let's get back to camp. I'm sure a good night of sleep will do us all well!" Aang gave an encouraging smile.

We walked back to camp in silence. I found myself at the back of the group, with Toph and Sokka next to me.

Suddenly Sokka was talking to me, speaking low so as not to be overheard by the others. Toph moved discreetly away, in the direction of Aang.

"I… I don't even know the pain you face. I knew Yue for two weeks. But you… you knew Helaku all your life. I want you to know…" He looked up at the moon and then back down at me. "I'm here. I may not understand the amount but… I understand."

"Thank you. I... you don't know how much that means to me." It was true; I hadn't had the chance to speak to anyone who had gone through what I had, not since I left the island. We had met people who had lost their families but… I hadn't really been able to speak to them about such a delicate matter.

He hugged me and I found I didn't want him to let go. The very fact that someone was there made me feel so much better. He kept an arm around me until we got to the camp, and then we went straight to bed.

When I was safely tucked in my sleeping bag I went over the events of the day, as I did every night. Even thinking back on Iroh's song made me cry.

What a draining night.

* * *

(A/N) - i-amawriterDOTblogspotDOTcom/2010/03/shila-chp5-alroyokDOThtml (change 'DOT' into '.')


	7. Ikkumayok

There it was. The Fire Nation Capitol. Ever since I had heard that my mother was being kept there it was all I had wanted to see. But now that I was looking at it… it was bit large. And… scary, cowardly as that may sound. Somehow I had to get in there, get my mother, and get out.

The soft, almost inaudible sound of Aang's footsteps drew my attention.

"It's pretty big isn't it?" He followed my gaze to the capitol.

"Pretty big? It's gigantic!"

"Don't worry. We still have a week or so until the Day of Black Sun. We don't have to worry about the capitol until then."

"But… well, Aang…"

"What's up?"

I had to think about this more. "Nothing… I was just thinking! Nevermind!"

He shrugged, "Ok! Well, I came up here to tell you that dinner's ready. You can come eat if you want!"

"Thanks." I'd go. Staring at the Capitol wouldn't put me in any better mood.

* * *

"So… do you want to hear my invasion plan?" Sokka looked around the circle beseechingly.

"Well… actually… I wanted to talk about my mom." I gave him a look that said _sorry._

"Oh, ok. Well, that is definitely important too!" He shrugged.

"Thanks. I… I don't think I can wait until the Day of Black Sun to rescue her. That is a week and a half. In that time, she could die."

"But… how are you going to do it without the distraction of the invasion?" Katara looked confused.

"That's why I need your help. I have no idea."

"I might." Heads turned to look at Zuko, who blushed at the sudden attention.

"The Palace City, where the dungeons are, well…"

"Yes?" I was a bit anxious.

"They employ servants. These servants serve in the Palace, but they can find information out easily enough, and they are often sent on tasks to other buildings. If you went in disguised as a servant you could easily locate your mom and get her out."

"That's a great plan!" It was simple, and it didn't sound too difficult.

"No it isn't! It's way too dangerous!" Sokka frowned first at Zuko, then at me. "There is no telling how hard it would be to get out!"

"If it proved too hard I could always just escape myself. That wouldn't be too arduous." It wouldn't be, but…

"You wouldn't do that. Not if you had found her." Darn. He was right.

"Well… you can't keep me from going, not if I want to."

"No, I can't." He hung his head.

"Look, it doesn't matter if Sokka likes it or not, is it even possible? Zuko, how hard is it to get hired as a servant?" Good old Toph, getting right to the point.

"Not very hard. They are always looking for new servants, and they don't care why you want to be one. Most of the servants are Fire Nation peasants, though a few are war prisoners."

"See Sokka, my mother might even be a servant!"

"She might."

"Why are you so against this? What is your problem?" I stood up and faced him.

"I don't have a problem! I just don't think it is a good idea for any of us to risk our lives for no reason!" He stood up also.

"I'm not going to risk my life!"

"What if they find out you're water tribe!"

"How are they going to find that out?"

"I don't know… you'll say something, or they'll just know!"

"Well they won't!"

"Why are you so sure?!" we were screaming now.

"I JUST AM! Why can't you trust me?!"

"I do trust you!"

"Sure doesn't seem like it!"

"Well, I do! I just worry… about you…" His voice faded from a shout into a mumble.

I really didn't have a comeback for that one.

"Well… you don't have to… I'm good. I… I'll be fine."

"Sure."

"Look, how about this. I'll come meet with one of you guys every day and tell you my progress."

Everyone nodded

"That sounds reasonable," said Aang.

"I like this plan. It's a good one, no matter what Sokka says." Toph shot an encouraging smile in my direction.

Sokka had sat back down.

"I guess I'm outvoted."

Iroh patted him on the shoulder.

"Can't win 'em all!"

* * *

I found myself back out looking at the Capitol the next day. I stayed silent as Sokka came up and sat beside me.

"I'm sorry. About fighting you, I mean." He didn't look at me, merely kept his gaze on the capitol

"You… you don't have to apologize. I'm sorry for getting mad at you. You had your opinion, and it was your right to voice it." I turned to him, "Friends?"

"Always!" we hugged and then pulled apart awkwardly.

"So… are you leaving today?" He sounded genuinely curious

"Yep. Iroh is taking me to town tonight and showing me the place they recruit."

"Is that safe? I mean, for Iroh?"

"Oh yeah. He got a costume. It's… well it is pretty indescribable."

"Well, that's good."

"Yep."

We turned back to the Capitol and watched the comings and goings in companionable silence.

"So… why was your mother captured? No offense but… they killed everyone else. Why did they save her?" He turned to me

"It's… well it's kinda a long story."

"We have all afternoon. I'm open."

I sighed. I had been expecting this question same as I had been expecting the one about Helaku.

"She's Fire Nation." That was simple enough, but I knew it wouldn't stay at that.

"She's… oh. Ok. Well, that wasn't very long."

"You mean… that is all you wanted to know?"

"Unless you want to tell me more. That explains why they captured her."

"I thought you'd want to know her life story or something. Like, how a Fire Nation woman ended up on a Northern Water Tribe Island." This was insane! How could he settle for that simple sentence! Nobody ever settled for that!

"I am curious. But if you aren't going to tell me you aren't going to tell me!" He gave me a sly look.

"You! You're just saying that so I WILL tell you!" I smacked him, something I seemed to do quite a bit

"You discovered my evil plan! Darn it! Oh well, you might as well tell me now!" He grinned

I rolled my eyes, "Very well, but only because I was planning on it from the beginning! And, I can only tell you what I know. She didn't tell me everything."

He nodded

"So. My mother is Fire Nation. She tells the story much better but… obviously she's not here."

I swallowed nervously.

"She grew up in the Fire Nation. She said she was someone of high importance, like her dad was a General or something. Anyway, her family wasn't very nice. They were liars and murderers. She had two brothers, and they were just as bad as her father. She said they would come home and sit at the dinner table and talk about who they had cheated or threatened to get their way during the day. She said that she grew up in this environment, and she hated it. My mother is nice and kind and gentle, nothing like how she described her family. She never talked about her mother… I don't know what kind of woman she was. I like to think she was like my mother, and that is how my mother turned out the way she did. I don't really know.

My mother stayed with her family until she was 16. Then she learned of a plot her father had, to marry her to the grandson of Avatar Roku. The boy was nice enough, though a bit ugly, but my mother didn't want to be a part of her father's politics. She didn't want her father to think that he had made things right with Roku's family just by making a marital alliance. So, she ran.

She went to the Abbey on the coast of the earth kingdom. It was the only place she knew of. But, she didn't want to stay there for good. She told the nuns of her predicament and they suggested that she go to the Northern Water Tribe.

So, she headed off in that direction. But, before she got to the Northern water tribe she landed on Nuuk. Then she met my father and, pardon the cliché, but the rest is history!"

I didn't look at him. I didn't want to see the look on his face.

"Well. It was a long story!"

I was so shocked I turned to him.

"That is really all you have to say?"

"Um, I guess so. I do have a few questions though…" He raised his eyebrows as if asking for permission.

"Go ahead."

"Ok, well um.. is your mother a firebender?"

No. Please don't ask that question. I don't want to answer that question.

"Well?"

I wasn't getting out of this one. I nodded, unable to speak.

"Hmm. And… is that why you have the flame tattoo on your arm?"

Ah yes, the tattoo. I had kept it covered with gloves most of the time, but I had to take them off eventually, and naturally he had seen it.

"Kinda." Please don't ask to elaborate, please don't ask to-

"Can you elaborate on that?"

Maiksuk!

"Um… well."

"You don't have to."

Not that again.

"Fine! It is your right to know."

He was going to hate me. I should have told them to begin with! But it wasn't exactly something you sprung on people. I wasn't sure if my Aunt Lanik even knew.

"Well…" He was looking at me impatiently.

"Right. I have this flame tattoo because… well it'll just be easier to show you."

I took a deep breath, and then exhaled, and a small sputtering flame appeared above my hand.

* * *

(A/N) - i-amawriterDOTblogspotDOTcom/2010/03/shila-chp6-ikkumayokDOThtml (replace DOTs with real dots – '.')


	8. Kunnikpok

"So… you're a… a firebender?" Sokka didn't seem very shocked. Merely… interested, or… puzzled.

I extinguished the flame quickly. "Yes."

"And a waterbender?"

"Yep."

"How… how is that possible?"

"I have no idea."

"Can… are you a master firebender?"

"Nope. That little flame is about all I can do. My mom offered to teach me but… I didn't want to learn. I didn't know if… well think about what happens when you mix Fire and Water…"

"It isn't so great."

"Exactly. I… well, this may sound stupid, but I didn't want that to happen to me…"

"That's not stupid. You never know!"

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

We lapsed into silence. Sokka looked thoughtful, and I was just happy that he didn't seem to hate me.

Suddenly Iroh called my name loudly from the camp.

"Um, guess I have to go." I stood up and brushed grass off my pants.

"Hey Kya," Sokka called as I walked away.

"Yeah?" I turned back.

"I don't have a problem with you being a firebender. In fact, it's kinda cool."

"Actually, it's hot." I grinned, "But thank you!"

He laughed, "Ok then! Well, whatever it is, it's good."

This was more than I had ever hoped for.

"Thank you. Really."

"Anytime."

*******************

I walked back into camp feeling rather light. I had told someone my deepest secret, and he still wanted to be my friend.

My happiness was only furthered by the sight of Iroh in his costume. It was… hysterical.

He had dyed his hair auburn, including his beard and he wore glasses, big thick black ones. He had on shabby red and black clothes, and a faded farmer's hat, which completed his impoverished look. He looked completely different.

He grabbed a stick of straw from the ground and stuck it in his mouth.

"Well, darlin', are you ready to go?"

I grinned, "I'll just be a bit, I need to grab some stuff."

I packed my few belongings carefully. I couldn't take a lot, but I wanted to have some stuff.

"So," I said as I walked back up to Iroh, "What's our story?"

He smiled, "We are a father and daughter. We are a bit low on money, so you are coming to work in the palace. You have an older brother in the war and an older sister who is at home helping your mother with your five younger siblings."

"Wow. Quite the family."

"Indeed. Anyway, you're coming to earn some extra money because our crops failed this year. It's a pretty simple and common story. You shouldn't have any trouble!"

"Sounds good. Are we ready to leave?"

"No, we are going to eat dinner first. Calm down and enjoy your friends. We'll leave at sunset."

"Ok…" I really wanted to just go, all this waiting was making me nervous, but dinner would be nice.

* * *

I looked at my friends. They were lined up, ready to tell me goodbye. It was like a gauntlet I had to pass through, and it wasn't very appealing.

I went to Zuko, who was first in line.

"Good Luck." He gave me an awkward hug. Sure, I didn't hate him, but we weren't exactly best friends.

"Thanks." I moved on to Katara.

"Be strong. Thank you for everything. I'll see you soon." She hugged me close.

"Thank you. You be strong too. And don't let Sokka boss you around. And don't doubt his care. He really worries about you, Katara –"

She cut me off, "Kya, I know! Don't talk as if you'll never see me again! I'll see you tomorrow!"

"Right, sorry! Well, see you then!" I grinned

Next was Aang

"'Bye Kya! " We hugged. Nothing with Aang ever seemed very serious, which was strange for the Avatar, but I didn't mind.

Now Toph. I was dreading this. I didn't want to cry, _please don't make me cry_

She punched me. I should have known. _Aye_.

"G'bye Siku. Don't die ok?"

"I won't, Uyarak. Gotta stay alive to make sure you don't get into trouble!"

Well, I didn't cry.

But I still had a chance to. Sokka was the last member of the gauntlet.

"Goodbye Sokka."

He was looking at his shoes.

"'Bye."

I didn't even get hug? Oh well. I thought… but that didn't matter. I walked on.

"Wait!"

Thank you. But why the drama?

"Um, Kya?"

"Yep."

"Um… be careful."

"Ok." Really, that's it?

"And…" he took a step toward me. Finally, he would hug me.

He kissed me! Just out of the blue! All of a sudden his lips were on mine and… well, it was odd. But not bad, most definitely not bad. Then it was over and I was kinda sad.

And you can tell how I felt from my rather disjointed ramblings. It… mixed me up, but I didn't want it to end.

When he pulled back he grinned.

"I didn't want you to forget me."

"I… I won't. Forgetting you is something I won't be doing. I will remember that... I mean you." Gosh, I really couldn't talk. Luckily Iroh saved me.

"Ok, lovebirds. As much as I love romance, we really need to leave. Come along Kya."

Did he really say come along? This registered somewhere in my sub-sub-conscious, for me to think about later, as I most definitely wasn't thinking about Iroh's words right then.

He kissed me!

* * *

I really had a hard time remembering anything when the guards were interrogating us. They were asking me my purpose there, and they weren't mean, but I was still thinking about Sokka.

Finally, Iroh stepped in.

"I'm sorry, sirs. She ran into a boy she has some feelings for on the way over here, and… well they kissed! It was quite the interesting development and I'm afraid her head is rather 'up in the clouds' as they say!"

The soldiers eyed me suspiciously, but then they shrugged.

"Alright. Go on through."

I grinned at Iroh when we were past the guard gates.

"I guess I do have feelings for him. I never realized that. It's wild!" I gave a heady giggle, this new realization making me lighter than air.

"That is wonderful, dear, but you need to settle down. The servant hirers will expect you to talk, not me. Remember your mother!"

I sobered up. "Right. Sorry."

"Nothing to apologize for! You have every right to be on top of the world!"

I nodded. Now that my attention was back in the real world I was noticing the scenes around me. We were walking through a busy marketplace, and the sounds and smells were rather overwhelming.

"GETCHA SEA PRUNES, FRESH SEA PRUNES!"

Sea prunes? In the Fire Nation? I tried to locate the voice, but I didn't see any sea prunes and Iroh was hurrying me along, so I put it out of my mind.

He led me to a fancy building that bore the Royal Fire Nation Insignia.

"Is this the servant hirers' building?" I felt like a little child, asking the adult what was happening.

"Yep."

We walked in, and I was struck by the richness of the place. Gold and red were the predominant colors, complimented by strong black lines. It was clean and fresh, and not at all what I would expect in hiring house.

"Can I help you?"

A pretty girl, with black hair and dark eyes, was standing behind the front desk, giving us a questioning look.

"Um, yes, I'm here to apply for a job... as a servant." It seemed like too posh a setting to be saying those words

"Why do you want to be a servant?"

I explained the story to her.

"Very well. Put your information on here." She handed me a scroll.

Well, that was easy. I wrote down my name (my real name; we had decided that it was better not to have to worry about a fake one) and the fake address we had crafted, as well as my father's name (fake). When I was done I handed it over to her, without a sound.

"Thank you. You will be paid five gold pieces a year, if that is satisfactory?"

I nodded. I really didn't care about payment.

"Alright. Go through those doors there and the ladies will show you to your room and give you your uniform."

It was all so fast and easy.

"You may say goodbye to your father."

Right, Iroh.

I hugged him, and he spoke into my ear

"Be careful, dear. This may seem easy, and simple, but things can go wrong."

"I will."

"Katara will be here tomorrow, outside of this building. If you aren't here she'll assume you couldn't get away, and Toph will be here the next night."

"Ok."

"Goodbye Kya"

"Iroh wait… can you tell Sokka…" I didn't know what to tell him, I only knew that I wanted to talk to him. "Can you tell him that I… oh, I don't know!"

"I'll tell him"

He pulled back, and grinned.

"Goodbye, father" I called.

"Goodbye m'dear."

The lady led me to the door, and I got one last glimpse of Iroh waving before it closed behind me, ringing of finality.

* * *

(A/N) - i-amawriterDOTblogspotDOTcom/2010/03/shila-chp7-kunnikpokDOThtml (replace DOT with .)


	9. Illamar

I surveyed the room around me. It wasn't exactly 'five star', but it was nice. It was a simple rectangle. Two of the walls were covered by two sets of bunk-beds, one was the door, and one housed a window. The window was covered in red and black curtains that matched the bed-sheets, and the walls were painted red. The door bore a Fire Nation insignia, and the lanterns on the walls echoed it. There was one small table in the space between the bed and the window-wall on one side, and the other side was left empty. I realized that the empty space was not in fact empty; there were two red bags, almost identical to mine.

So, this room was not to be only mine? I suppose that was to be expected. I mean, why would I need four beds? Wondering where my roommates were, and which beds were theirs I decided to sit at the table. That couldn't be claimed, right? I put my bag on the table in front of me; along with the uniform I had been given. I should probably change into it. It was… well it was comfortable. It was really a nice outfit, flattering and sophisticated. I suppose the Fire Nation couldn't have their servants looking bad if they were roaming the palace. I kept my gloves on, because who knows what would happen if my tattoo was seen. It could be laughed off, or it could be an identifying mark. Better safe than sorry, I believe.

Once I was changed I put my old clothes into my bag and put it in the corner with the other girls'. (At least I hoped they were girls… otherwise… well I would not be happy.) Now what? The lady who had led me here had said nothing other than 'put it on' when she handed me the uniform. Did I just stay here until something happened? Was I supposed to go to sleep? It was night. My confusion was interrupted by a large bell pealing. It clanged ten times. Did that mean it was ten O'candle? I sat wondering about that for a few minutes, until the door opened and two girls about my age burst through, chattering up a storm. Their chatter stopped as soon as they spotted me.

"Um…" The taller girl tried to say something, but she stopped and studied me first. That was fine by me; while they figured me out, I could figure them out.

The taller one had short brown hair, and brown eyes. She was tall (as previously stated) and thin.

The shorter one had longer, lighter hair that was in braids, and green eyes. She was short (as also previously stated) and also thin.

Apparently they had finished with me, because the taller one spoke.

"What are you doing here?" She sounded a bit bored.

"I just… er… was hired. I'm a servant. This was the room they showed me too…" was I not supposed to be here?

The shorter girl bounced up to me, "I'm Li! What's your name? Oh, and welcome!"

"I… I'm… Kya." I debated using a fake name, but I had written my real one on the scroll.

"Wow! That sounds like Water Tribe! Are you a war prisoner?" She was a bit enthusiastic

"Li, they keep the war prisoners in a different kind of place. It's more secure or something. Don't insult the newbie!"

I was kinda annoyed that they thought calling me Water Tribe was insulting me, but I guess it was just good that they discarded the idea quickly.

"Yeah, I'm Fire Nation! My parents just liked exotic names." I gave them what I hoped was an apologetic smile.

"Sucks for you. My name is Hitomi, by the way."

"Um, nice to meet you." I kept my smile on.

"Ok, well, morning comes early. I'm going to bed." She noticed my helpless glance at the beds and rolled her eyes. "Li and I already have this bunk-bed claimed. You can sleep on whichever side of the OTHER one you would like." She disappeared into a water closet I hadn't previously noticed and I heard the sound of water splashing.

"Don't worry about Tomi" Li smiled at me, "She is really fun when you get to know her. She just doesn't open up as quickly as me. She'll be just as enthralled in a day or two!" She hugged me, "I'm so glad we get another roommate! We're going to have a blast!" With one last smile she followed Hitomi's lead, and went into the water closet.

Well. What an eventful day.

* * *

My first day as a Fire Nation servant was rather unexceptional. I stuck with Li and Hitomi, and they showed me the ropes. We pretty much did everything, from sweeping to ironing, even serving the food. (Though, I couldn't do that yet. Apparently that was for experienced servants. Whatever.) We reported to the Headmistress in the morning and she gave us our tasks for the day. When she saw that I was staying near Hitomi and Li she set us on the same task, which I was eternally grateful for. I would have been lost without their running commentary, which also happened to be a bit amusing.

"That is Lady Sen's maid," Li was discreetly pointing at a young girl who was ironing a fancy dress. "She thinks she is better than us, just because she is a personal maid. Really, she's a peasant like all the rest of us. I tried to get to know her when she first came, but she is too snotty, even for me."

"She's completely supercilious," declared Hitomi. I was getting used to her rather large vocabulary, in fact I was finding it quite educating. I had thought I was pretty smart, but even I didn't know all of the words she used.

"Who's Lady Sen?" I had never heard of her before.

"Mai's Mother!" Li was quite excited that she was able to share this.

"You mean Azula's Sidekick, that Mai?"

"Yep!" She grinned

"But, I thought that Mai's parents were the Governors of New Ozai?" I almost said Omashu, but realized that wouldn't be smart.

"Didn't you hear? King Bumi retook New Ozai, all by himself! It was quite the scandal!"

"It needed to happen." Hitomi's said the words under her breath, but I caught them and allowed myself a small smile. Perhaps this girl would be good for something.

"I didn't hear that. It must have happened when my father and I were journeying. We didn't hear much of anything on the road. People have become rather tight lipped." I shrugged

"It's all because of this stupid war! Why can't the Fire Nation just be happy being the Fire Nation? What is wrong with us that Fire Lord Ozai isn't satisfied? Why do all of our people have to die?" Hitomi's outburst caught me by surprise, and Li's eyes widened until they took up half her face.

"Hitomi," She hissed, "Not out here! Anyone could hear you! Please… you don't want to be killed."

Hitomi's only reply was to clench her teeth and her fists, and I swore I could see sparks. Could she be – no, it was impossible.

"Tomi, you know I feel the same. But we can do nothing about it if we are dead. Please," Li stared entreatingly at Hitomi.

I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding as Hitomi released her fist and changed her angry expression to a repentant one.

"I'm sorry. I just… they killed them."

"I know." Li gave her friend a hug. "Why don't you go get some water and cool off?"

Hitomi nodded, "Good idea. I'll be back soon."

We watched her walk off, and as soon as she was out of sight Li turned to me.

"Her brother was a soldier, and so was her betrothed. They both died in battle." Li shook her head, "It really messed Hitomi up. It's why she's so indifferent. She doesn't want to get close to someone, in case they die."

It made sense. I wondered why I hadn't tried it. Oh well

"My betrothed and my…" I realized I couldn't say father. Iroh was supposed to be my father. "Um… uncle, died in battle too."

Li sighed, "I'm so sorry. I hate this war, most servants do. The war is the only reason most of us are here; because the family members that would normally be making money are off fighting, or our crops were killed by marching battalions, or our store inventory was commandeered for the soldiers. The stories get worse and worse."

I nodded. There wasn't much to say to that. Suddenly I remembered Hitomi.

"I… I thought I saw sparks… when Hitomi was mad… is –"

I stopped as Li whirled on me, eyes flashing.

"You didn't see anything! It was just a figment of your imagination!" Her demeanor had changed from kind and bubbly to angry and vicious. I was genuinely scared, but I couldn't let it go.

"I don't hallucinate! I saw sparks!" Before I could continue she pinned me to the wall with a move so fast I could hardly see it. Her hands were on my shoulders and her face was so close I could feel her breath.

"Do not say one more word, or I'll take out your vocal chords. We can talk about this later."

I managed to nod, and she let me go.

"I'm going to check on Hitomi," she muttered as she walked away.

Great, now I had lost my guide, and possibly a friend.

* * *

When I finally made it back to the room, at ten O'candle, Li and Hitomi were already there. They were sitting on their respective beds staring at the door, apparently waiting for me.

"Hello," I gave them a weak smile, "I'm just gonna go wash up." I practically ran to the water closet, immeasurably glad of the sanctuary it provided. Their anger and accusing scrutiny was more than I could take right now, after my first day of work. Not to mention that I had no idea where my mother was, or if she was even here.

I splashed my face with water, which immediately made me feel better, and then bent it off so I would be dry. Bending was quite refreshing, and I attempted to forget about my failing search, my friends in danger, and the animosity on the other side of the door. I bent the water into shapes and doodles, swirling it around and making it dance beautifully. Finally I realized I could put it off no longer; I bent the water back into the basin and opened the door.

I was rather surprised to see that the girls looked amicable and a bit tired rather than hateful.

"So…" I sat down on my own bed and faced them.

"So, I think you need an explanation." Hitomi didn't look into my eyes, and she bit her lip nervously.

"I would be much obliged. But… I would understand if you didn't want to explain." I would understand, but I'd be annoyed.

"She's a Fire Bender." Li shrugged, "No sense dragging it out!"

Hitomi nodded.

"Ah…" I gave a shrug of my own. "So, why hide it?"

"How long have you been traveling for? My goodness," Li raised her eyebrows in disbelief, "Anyone who can firebend gets drafted! They are forced to serve in the army, be it boy or girl."

"Oh… right. I forgot that." Maiksuk! That could get me!

"Right…" Her eyebrows got higher.

"Li." Hitomi shook her head slightly.

"Fine, we'll let you keep your secrets, though we've told you ours." She rolled her eyes and looked at me expectantly.

I recalled Hitomi's earlier words, and her hate of the war. Perhaps… but no, I couldn't tell them. Maybe I could tell them something though.

"I… I'm a firebender too." I lit the tiny flame that constituted as my bending.

Their eyes widened.

"Wow!" Li grinned, "I knew you were hiding something!"

"Li!" Hitomi pushed her friend good-naturedly

"It's ok…" I gave them a genuine smile.

"So, what can you do?" Hitomi smiled back at me

"What do you mean?"

"I mean firebending-wise." She laughed, "What kinds of firebending can you do?"

"Oh… well, that's about it." Now I was kinda embarrassed

"Just that little flame?" She sounded kind enough.

"Yep."

"Well! I can teach you more, if you want." She smiled eagerly.

"I don't know…" There was always what I had explained to Sokka. If I learned firebending would I be torn apart? I had no idea.

"Don't worry, I'll go easy on you!"

I really didn't know how to say no.

"I guess so."

"Yay!" She clapped her hands together excitedly. "We can start tomorrow!"

"Um… great!" I at least tried to sound enthusiastic.

"Ok guys, we need to sleep!" Li smiled at me, "Night Kya! I'm glad you're our friend now!"

"I'm glad too! Goodnight!" Why did they have to be so kind? I felt like I was betraying them by not telling them the absolute truth about me.

"Goodnight Kya! I can't wait until tomorrow!" A giant grin was still dominating Hitomi's face.

"Me too! G'night!" Yeah, I could wait.

Tomorrow I would probably explode. Super.

*****************

(A/N) - i-amawriterDOTblogspotDOTcom/2010/03/shila-chp8-illamarDOThtml (change DOT to .)


	10. Kuviasuktok

The next morning I woke up with a start. I remembered that I had forgotten something, but I couldn't figure out what it was (ironic, I know). Something I had been supposed to do…

Katara! I was supposed to meet her yesterday! Oh no, they probably thought something bad had happened, like I had been captured or killed or –

Wait. Iroh had said that if I didn't show up the first day Toph would be there the next one. He must have foreseen that my first day would be hectic. They probably weren't worried.

I lay back down, feeling much better.

"What was that about, did you have a nightmare?" Li's voice was croaky, from just having woken up.

"Um… yeah." I couldn't tell her the truth.

"Well luckily it's time to get up anyway." Hitomi crawled down the ladder on her bed and made her way to the water closet.

Li gave me a smile, "Don't worry, just first day jitters. You probably won't have any more nightmares."

I nodded, "Thanks."

If only.

******************

Later that morning Hitomi and I were stuck scrubbing mirrors in one of the millions of palace 'Powder Rooms'

The silence was rather stifling.

"So… where in the Fire Nation are you from?" I knew this would inevitably lead to Hitomi asking me the same question, but I couldn't think of anything else.

"Near Ember Island. A coastal town." She didn't even look up from the mirror she was scrubbing.

"Ah. When did you first find out you could Fire Bend?"

"Shh, not so loud!"

"Sorry."

"It's ok. I accidentally set my father's fishing boat on fire when I was eight."

"Nice."

"Yep."

We continued cleaning in silence for a while.

Finally, I could stand it no longer.

"So, you're not a fan of the war?"

"Is anyone?"

"Um…"

She finally stopped scrubbing, and turned to look at me, "No, I despise it. The war stole my family, my future family, and my home. The war has stolen friends I might have made, opportunities I might have had, and a whole way of life. If there were any possible way for me to end the war, I would. But the resistance movements… they're weak, and stupid. Being associated with them is like asking for an execution."

I nodded. This was good news, about her feelings. Many people were in the same situation as her, and would feel the same. I realized my views on the Fire Nation people were changing.

"What about…" here goes nothing, "the Avatar? I heard he was alive, and planning something."

Her eyes narrowed and she sighed with annoyance, "I wish that was true, I really do, but it's not. Be logical. The Avatar chain has been broken, and along with it our only true hope for peace."

"But people have seen him!"

"Probably some freedom fighter, trying to give the people hope. It's an admirable task, most indubitably, but pointless. If it isn't the real Avatar, then he isn't going to save the world."

"But how are you so sure?"

"It just isn't realistic."

"So, just because something isn't realistic, that means it's not true? What about bending? Bending isn't realistic! What about the spirits? I mean, it isn't very realistic to think that there are such things as dragons, but there is proof that there were! Not everything is explainable"

She shrugged and turned back to the mirror.

"So…" I had to approach this carefully, "If there WAS an Avatar –"

"If," she interjected.

"Yes IF. If the Avatar was real would you help him on his quest to defeat the Fire Lord, or try to stop him?"

This made her stop her scrubbing once again.

"Hmm. It depends. I wouldn't stop him, but I might not help him."

No! I was counting on her and Li!

"What about Li?" Perhaps I could get at least one recruit

"She'd probably help him. She likes whatever is good, like the 'good side'." Hitomi shrugged, "I'd probably help him too, but I don't think I would give my life for him, or anything crazy like that."

Well, this was good news.

"What about you?" Her question caught me off guard.

"Yeah, I'd help him." It was almost amusing. Almost.

She stood up, "Well, I'm done with my half. I'm going on. Meet me in the courtyard at lunch, and we'll do our lesson."

Man, I had hoped she had forgotten.

"Um, ok. I'll see you there."

She gave me a smile, and headed towards the Headmistress's office.

Gosh, I just couldn't wait to explode.

*******************

I surveyed the courtyard dubiously. It was large and open, surrounded by windows and doors. Bottom line – it wasn't discreet, which was what we needed.

"Are we really going to have our lesson here?" I turned to her and raised my eyebrows.

She gave a tiny shake of her head and motioned for me to follow her.

We slipped lightly down an alley, through a doorway and another large courtyard, into the gardens, continuing to walk until we reached a large maze.

"In there?" I was confused

"Yep. It's pretty private."

"But… there is so much… flammable stuff!"

She snorted, "Don't worry about that right now."

She led me through the maze into a dead end, far from the entrance. She located a stump and motioned for me to sit down.

"Do I get to watch a demonstration?"

She rolled her eyes, "No. You're going to breathe."

"What?" Wasn't I already doing that?

"Breathe! In, out, in, out. You know, you have to do it to live… that kind of breathe?"

"Very funny. I know how to breathe."

"Then do it. Close your eyes, focus on your breathing, and imagine flames rising up and down with your breath. But keep your fists clenched. Lightly, but clenched."

I followed her instructions. To my surprise I could actually feel a tiny flame inside of me flicker. I had never felt this before. Usually, when I did my little flame trick, I just thought of fire and the little one appeared in my hand. This… this was something entirely different. It was reminiscent of my waterbending. Whenever I bent water I felt coolness seep through my body, and waves seemed to lap inside of me. This was similar, this flame, and a heat I was beginning to feel.

Suddenly, the flame burst forth with almost an eruption. The nice image I had seen in my closed eyelids of a small fire turned completely red, and I felt as if I was burning. I forced my eyes open and gasped for air.

Hitomi was staring at me, eyes wide as cabbages.

"You're… you're…"

"I need… water"

She reached into her sack and pulled out a skin, filled completely full. She started to hold it up to my lips but I shook my head. Desperately, I bent the water out of the skin and covered my hands with it. They cooled down immediately. I continued this, moving up my arms and to my face. Once I was completely cool I let the water go, sending it splashing back toward the earth. Feeling much better and actually rather refreshed, I turned to the calamity I knew was coming.

Hitomi was staring at me and her mouth was actually open. I had never actually seen anyone's jaw drop before, but hers had. When she saw I was looking at her, she closed her mouth and assumed her usual calm look.

"I'm not even going to discuss that… waterbending, or whatever that was, at the moment. Right now I want to address the issue of you bursting into flames. What were you thinking?"

"Um… I was just breathing."

"No, I mean what were you literally thinking about before you um... caught on fire."

"Oh." I had been… oh, no. "I was… I was comparing the tiny flame I felt to the waves I feel when I waterbend."

A gleam appeared in her eyes, and I couldn't tell if it was good or bad.

"I suppose we are forced to discuss your… waterbending. Are you a master?"

I nodded.

"And do you happen to be able to bend any other elements?"

"Um, nope."

I saw a bit of the gleam subside.

"So, you aren't the Avatar?"

"That would be no. But I do know him. As a matter of fact, I am rather good friends with him!"

She shook her head.

"Of course. Li and I would be the ones who would get ourselves wrapped up in an adventure. Just wonderful."

"Well… you aren't forced to do anything."

"Right."

"Now, um, what am I supposed to do about this whole fire/water thing?"

She sighed, "Tell me the whole story, from the beginning."

"We'll be here a while."

"We've got time. They won't kick us for missing a few hours"

And so, I began.

* * *

I ran as fast as I could. I didn't want them to think I couldn't come again, and leave. I had just barely managed to get away, thanks in part to Hitomi, and I was a bit late. I dodged merchants and shoppers, getting more than a few yells of annoyance. When I finally saw the hiring building I put on an extra burst of speed, and exploded around the corner. Toph gave a gloating grin to Sokka, and I guessed that she had predicted my arrival.

"Um… hi." I smiled uneasily. I hadn't expected him to be here, and I didn't know what to say to him. Last time I had seen him, we'd kissed. I didn't really know protocol for 'post-kiss encounters.'

"Oh, hi." He looked down at the ground and scuffed his feet, "I'm um… glad you're not dead."

"Yeah, me too." Now what?

Toph rolled her eyes, "He came because he was scared out of his mind that you were hurt. Nothing we could say would convince him that you were ok. Iroh told him that first days were often really, really busy, but he just wouldn't listen. He insisted on coming."

Sokka looked up from the ground, "I was just worried, I mean, anything could have happened, and I don't want anything to happen, I just want you to –"

I cut him off by running and hugging him tightly. He returned the hug, and whispered in my ear, "Also, I missed you."

I never wanted to let go, but eventually Toph cleared her throat.

"Not that this isn't a touching scene and all, but we don't have all day. What's the scoop?"

Letting go of Sokka, but not moving out from under his arm, I filled them in, up until the part where I started my firebending lesson.

"So, you told this girl you could firebend?" Sokka furrowed his brow

"Wait, firebend? What? You can't firebend!" Toph's tone was practically incredulous.

"Um…" Sokka looked from me to Toph, and back to me.

"Yeah, I can."

"Very funny. You're a waterbender! You can't do both!"

I sighed, and created the tiny flame. I didn't try to visualize the fire inside of me, or anything like that, just lit the emotionless flame in my palm.

"See?"

"Um, no."

"Oh, right." I felt kinda bad. "Well, can't you feel it or something?"

"Whatever you're doing, it's not touching the earth."

Thoroughly exasperated, I held the flame up to her face, careful not to let it touch her.

"Can you feel the heat from that? I'm making it."

Her foggy eyes grew wide and round and her mouth formed into an O.

"You… how is that possible?"

"My mother was a firebender."

"But… how did you become a waterbender too?"

"I have no idea."

"Oh... wow."

"Yep, pretty much."

"Can you answer my question now?" Sokka pulled me back into his arm.

"Yeah. I told her. And we did a lesson. And I burst into flames." I said the words deadpan, hoping he wouldn't freak out.

It was no use. He put his arms on my shoulders and stood right in front of me.

"You what!"

"Um… caught on fire. But, I didn't get burnt. I was just… flaming… and I cooled myself off with water."

He pulled me into a hug tighter than the first one.

"Don't ever do that again, understand? Never, ever, ever, ever!"

"I won't," I said, but because my face was pressed into his chest it came out more like, "iwtt"

"Ok…" He let me go.

I explained the rest of it, how I'd had to tell Hitomi everything. They sighed, but they said nothing. The conversation turned to more happy topics, memories and good times. I soaked in just being there, leaning against Sokka, laughing with Toph. I didn't want it to end.

But, of course, it had to. The bell rang five times, signaling five O'candle, and I had to go back to the Palace.

"G'bye!" I gave Toph a hug. "See you soon."

"Goodbye Kya." Sokka hugged me close. Grinning, I kissed him. This kiss was much better, as it was expected. It was sweet and reminiscent. When we broke apart he smiled.

"I didn't want you to forget me." I shrugged, "Now, you won't"

"I'll never forget you," He whispered. I blushed and Toph rolled her eyes. (A feat I was pretty impressed by!)

"Let's go, lover-boy!" I waved at them until they were out of sight, then sped back to the palace.

* * *

When I walked into the room at ten O'candle, I was prepared for what I saw. Li was standing there with a slightly hurt look on her face.

"Wow. You lied to us all this time?"

"I didn't know if I could trust you!"

"What? Why not?"

"Um… you're Fire Nation…"

"And what does that have to do with anything?"

"What's to say that if I told you, you wouldn't go tell Ozai? It's only been two days, Li! I can't figure out your every motive in that short time!"

She sighed, "I guess you're right. But… oh, you're right. I'm sorry."

"It's ok. I'm sorry that I have to be so careful. But at least… now… it's all out in the open."

Hitomi walked out of the water closet.

"What's open?"

We laughed.

"We were talking about her history," explained Li.

"Oh," Hitomi nodded. "Did you tell her, Li?"

"Not yet." She turned to me, "we want to help you and the avatar. And we got some news today. A lady is coming in; apparently she is a big deal. We didn't get much info, but… it could be your mother."

"Wouldn't my mom be a prisoner?"

"I dunno, they seem to treat royalty as royalty. She may be on house arrest, but she is on it in her plush room. We'll see."

I nodded, so happy at even this small possibility.

"Thanks guys."

They smiled and nodded.

That night I went to bed completely happy for the first time in a long time.

* * *

(A/N) - i-amawriterDOTblogspotDOTcom/2010/03/shila-chp9-kuviasuktokDOThtml (replace DOT with .)


	11. Illautiwok

************* CHAPTER 10*****************

The next few days passed with amazing rapidity. I was busy, cleaning and such, and didn't have much time for pontificating or worrying. It was nice to be able to get lost in my work, and not think about the invasion that was only days away, or the fact that I still hadn't found my mother. Hitomi and I decided to avoid any more firebending lessons until we could discuss it fully, with other firebenders and waterbenders (which pretty much meant, until after the war…).

It was also nice having someone my own age to just talk to. I loved Katara and Toph, but they were both younger than me, even if just by a little bit. Hitomi and Li were going through all the same things I was going through, and they were fun to gossip with about all the comings and goings of the palace. One such gossiping session came at lunch one day.

"So… that boy Sokka? You said you guys kissed… have you seen him since then?" Hitomi grinned.

"I said that?" I didn't remember telling her that exact detail.

"Yep. You said you kissed as you were saying goodbye."

"Oh… well, yeah. I saw him the other day…"

"Aaaaand…"

"Um… we kissed again."

Li let a giant grin split her face. "That's so cute! Are you two like, a couple?"

"Um, I guess so?" I hadn't really thought about it. I had just liked the feel of his arms around me, and his lips on mine… I suppose that was a bit naïve.

"What about you guys?" It was a desperate attempt to get their attention off of me, but surprisingly it worked.

"We're not like, officially in relationships. But we have guys we like. I mean, personally, I think the Avatar is pretty awesome, if all of those stories and depictions are true…" she trailed off, obviously asking if they were true.

I laughed, I couldn't help it. "Um, yeah, he's awesome I guess, but he's kinda young. And he's taken…"

She gave a small pout, "Darn!"

I turned to Hitomi, "What about you?"

Li stopped pouting, "Yeah, what about you, Tomi? You like anyone?" She flicked her gaze obviously to a boy sitting at another table, reading a scroll.

Hitomi ignored her, "Well, I have always had a little crush on Prince Zuko… I mean, he's really hot. And so… brooding, and troubled, and…" she trailed off, staring dreamily at the sky.

"Um, yeah about him…" I gave an uneasy smile, "He's kinda taken too…"

"They always are." She sighed, and then smiled to show she wasn't completely serious.

"Iroh's not!" I grinned mischievously, and they laughed.

"What about him, Tomi?" Li pointed discreetly at the boy. "He's kinda like Zuko."

"Um…" She bit her lip. "I don't like him!"

Sure. Li was right; he did look a bit like Zuko. He had black hair that was almost curly, but not, and it fell almost to his eyes, which were brown. He was currently buried in his scroll, which seemed to be some sort of fairy-tale type. The front cover had dragons on it. He was alone at his table, and everyone was pretty much ignoring him.

"Watch this," I whispered to Li.

I stood up, smoothed down my tunic, and walked up to the boy.

"Hello, I'm new here, I'm Kya. I'm working on meeting everyone!" I gave an innocent smile and held out my hand.

He looked up from his scroll with a confused look on his face.

"Um, hello. I'm Fong. Uh, nice to meet you." He shook my hand and went back to his scroll.

"Well, I was just wondering if you wanted to join me and my friends at our table. Um, no offense, but you look kinda lonely over here, and we'd love to have you join us!" I gave another innocent smile. Gosh, I was good at this.

He looked past me at my table. When he saw Hitomi his cheeks got red.

"Um, I'm ok here."

"No, really! You should come join us!"

"Really, I'm ok!"

I had feared it would come to this. Rolling my eyes with exasperation I grabbed the scroll from his hands and put it on the table. Then I grabbed his arm.

"C'mon shyster, you're sitting with us whether you like it or not!" I dragged him over to the table and surveyed the faces of my friends. Li was grinning up a storm and trying everything she could not to laugh. Hitomi looked completely mortified.

"These are my friends! This is Li," She waved "And this is Hitomi!"

Hitomi merely kept looking at me, furiously

"Girls, this is Fong! So, just have a seat here," I sat him down next to Hitomi, "And make yourself comfortable!"

I went back to my seat by Li, and she whispered in my ear, "That was amazing!"

"I'm not done yet," I whispered back.

I cleared my throat, "I'm going to go get seconds. Li, you wanna come with me?" All three of them opened their mouths in shock, but Li was the first to recover.

"Of course! Let's go!" She jumped up from her seat and grinned back at Hitomi and Fong. "You guys just get to know each other; we'll be back in a minute!"

As soon as we got out of earshot she burst out laughing

"That was the best thing ever! Their faces! Oh, their faces!" We sat down on a vacant bench and laughed for a few minutes.

"I think they really like each other," I said, as soon as I could breathe.

"Yep. They're pretty cute together too!"

"See? We've done our good deed for the day!"

She smiled, "We can just hope they don't kill us when we get back. I hear that Fong is a martial arts master…"

"Wonderful. We'll get beaten and burned."

"Hey, they'd make a pretty good fighting team too!"

We laughed some more.

When we got back they were talking animatedly about the scroll Fong had been reading.

"I love dragons! And that style of art… ah!" Hitomi clapped her hands, like she did whenever she was really excited, "It's one of my favorites."

"Mine too!" Fong was a bit calmer, but he seemed happy too, "I just got this the other day, and I'm already about halfway through it, it's just so good!"

Li and I sat down and shot each other a look.

"So, I see you guys have something in common…" I smiled encouragingly.

Hitomi whirled on me, "What happened to your seconds?"

"Oh, um…" Whoops

"They weren't serving them anymore. We argued with them for a bit, which is what took us so long!" Li grinned.

"Yep! Those people are tough!" I nodded in agreement with Li.

"Right," Hitomi's voice was as dry as the desert. (Trust me, I've been there.)

Suddenly the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch.

We stood up and cleared our things.

"Um, it was nice meeting you." Hitomi gave a shy smile to Fong, which he returned.

"Yeah… it was nice meeting you too."

"You're sitting here tomorrow. Don't make me drag you again!" I gave him a rather hard slap on the back.

"Um, ok!" He walked off in the direction of the headmistress's office, and I turned to Hitomi

"So?"

"I hate you," She turned to me and rolled her eyes, "But I like him…" She gave a giggle, which prompted ones from me and Li.

"Score two for Kya!" I high-fived Li, which prompted another eye roll from Hitomi.

"You guys are so dead."

We merely grinned triumphantly

*****************

I saw Sokka again, and Aang and Katara. We didn't have much to discuss. I told them about Hitomi and Fong, and this made Sokka laugh.

"You're quite the matchmaker, aren't you?"

I shrugged, "I just do what I can!"

I loved being with them and was sad when I had to go, but I still hadn't found my mother.

The news about a lady coming was confirmed that afternoon, when the headmistress gave a new task to me and Hitomi and Li.

Our task was to prep a room for the lady, which involved cleaning it from top to bottom, changing the sheets, putting in fresh flowers… that sort of stuff.

"So… a lady really is coming." I wouldn't let my hopes get to far up.

"And guess what? We're next in line to be maids. We will be the ones serving her!" Li spilled this wonderful news excitedly.

"So we'll know immediately?"

"Pretty much!"

Now I really, really couldn't wait.

* * *

I didn't have to wait long at all. The lady arrived that night, and I was called by the headmistress.

"She obtained some cuts and scratched on her journey." The headmistress handed me some first aid supplies, "Take care of them please. I will send Li up with dinner in a bit."

I nodded in compliance.

My heart fluttered as I walked up the passageway to her room. What if it wasn't my mother? What if was just a random lady? What would I do? Pushing all thoughts out of my mind, I walked with purpose. I wouldn't care either way. My mission now was to find the lady and take care of her wounds.

I knew where the room was, from cleaning it earlier. The only change was that now there were two guards standing in front of it. Whether they were there to keep people out or to keep the lady in, I had no idea. Probably a little of both.

I nodded to the guards and they opened the door for me. I kept my eyes on the supplies in my hands as I walked through the door. I didn't trust myself to stay indifferent if it was my mother, and I didn't want to do anything in front of the guards. I waited until they shut the door, and then let my eyes find her face.

The bowl of supplies dropped out of my hands with a resounding crash and ointments and bandages flew everywhere.

"Mother," I gasped.

* * *

The guards immediately opened the door, and I dropped to my knees to pick up the bandages.

"Are you ok, Lady Zia?" The tall one spoke, in a deep bass voice.

She gave a small incline of her head that seemed to serve as a nod, "The servant girl tripped. I am quite alright, thank you."

They nodded back, "Ok. Call out if you need anything." They went back out and closed the door behind them. As soon as I head the click of the latch I got off of the floor and ran into her arms, sobbing.

"Oh Aga! Aga, I missed you."

"Shhhhh… I missed you too Buniq. I missed you so much." She held me for a long while, and then we pulled apart reluctantly.

"I suppose we have a lot to tell each other," I said.

"Indeed. Like, how did you ever end up in a Fire Nation palace, as a servant?" A horrified look crossed her face. "Were you captured? Is Liluye here? Is she alright? What about everyone else?"

I shook my head, "They're all ok. All the women, and Liluye, they're still on Nuuk."

"Oh. So how did you get here?"

I went into the lengthy story of my alliance with the Avatar. I had told it enough times that I had managed to get it streamlined, and practically memorized like a speech.

When I was done she stood there with her mouth open. That seemed to happen a lot around me.

"You are amazing, Panik." She put a hand on my hair, "You have become a woman. Oh, how you have grown. I am so proud of you."

I was amazed to find tears in my eyes. "Thank you Ahnah." I hugged her again.

"Now, what happened to you? Why did they capture you, instead of killing you? You were a runaway, a traitor!"

She sighed, "It is a long story."

"I told you mine," I argued

"Yes, I suppose so. Very well."

She told me how she had been surrounded and captured. She had seen my father die, and seen me running. She said she was proud of me for not being a fool. She told me of the long journey by ship, from Nuuk to the Fire Fountain City. When she got to the part about how the men had beaten her she tried to gloss over it, but I wasn't fooled. I stopped her,

"That's why I'm here. Stupid me, I forgot. One moment." I went to the washbasin in the corner and bent water onto my hands. I made her show me all the minor cuts and scratches, and I healed them easily. When I was done she smiled gratefully.

"Thank you, I had forgotten you could do that. You truly are amazing."

I blushed, "I'm not… nobody's perfect. Is that all? No more wounds, of any sort?"

She shook her head, but a sudden spasm of pain that crossed her face said otherwise. She grabbed her stomach and moaned.

I bit my lip as I pulled her tunic off. Her stomach was covered in burns of varying degrees.

"Why didn't you tell me? What happened?"

"A man tried to… he wanted to…" She shook her head, "He looked much worse, I can tell you that."

"Oh mother," I sighed and got more water. This would take a bit. I did what I could, but by the time I was exhausted there was still quite a bit of damage.

"Does anyone know?"

She shook her head again, "No. I kept it hidden."

"Well I can't heal it alone. I'll get Katara to come in tomorrow."

She gasped, "No! You can't endanger the Avatar's companions just for my sake!"

"I believe it is a bit too late for that. You are the reason I am with the Avatar and his companions, and I have endangered them plenty of times."

She frowned, "Kya, I mean it."

"Well I mean it too. You could die from this. Plus, she owes me one."

My mother sighed and closed her eyes. Suddenly she sat up, wincing at the pain, and turned to me.

"Did you say something about a Day of Black Sun? And an invasion?"

I nodded warily.

"Kya, there is no such thing!"

"What? Of course there is, we found out about it in a spirit library!"

"No Kya. I'm a Firebender, I know. That day you said it was?"

"It's in three days."

"Yes. There is nothing that day. Nothing special. Unless you count the fact that it is a week before the comet. "

"What! No it isn't! The comet doesn't come for another three or so weeks!"

"Kya, please! I can feel it! I wouldn't lie to you, you know that!"

It was true. If my mother was lying to me, then something was seriously wrong with her, something worse than burns.

We were interrupted by the opening of the doors. I quickly picked up a bandage from the floor and pretended to be applying it to her arm. I let out a sigh of relief when Li walked in, holding a tray of food and grinning expectantly.

"So?" She set the food down on a table next to the bed and began to pour the tea.

"Li, meet my mother, Lady Zia. Mother, meet one of my best friends, Li."

Li gave a squeal of excitement.

"Oh, I'm so happy for you Kya! Lady Zia, it's such a pleasure to meet you! I'm so glad you're here! Oh I can't wait until we tell Hitomi!"

My mother smiled. "Please, call me Zia. It is a pleasure to meet you as well. I am extremely grateful for the companionship and love you have showed my daughter."

Li practically glowed. I smiled, and then remembered what we had been talking about before.

"Ok, I'm glad we had this meeting, but mother, are you sure? If so, I need to go get Aang immediately."

She nodded, "I'm sure."

I groaned, "Wonderful. Li stay here with her please. Mother, fill Li in. I'm going to get them, and I'll bring Katara too."

I slipped out of the doors, telling the guards I was going to get more bandages, and a few helpers. They nodded, and I ran down the hall. I made it out of the Palace easily enough, and broke into a full run once I got out of the city. I hoped they would still be camping where they had been when I left.

As I ran I felt tears streaming down my face. I had found my mother. I should be the happiest person in the world. But suddenly, everything was going wrong.

* * *

(A/N) - i-amawriterDOTblogspotDOTcom/2010/03/shila-chp10-kuviasuktokDOThtml (replace DOT with .)


	12. Niviorpok

*************************CHAPTER 11*************************

"_The Boiling Rock." Zuko winced as he said the words, leaving a sharp feeling in Sokka's chest. _

"_What's that?" He wasn't sure he wanted to know._

"_The highest security prison in the Fire Nation. It's on an island, in the middle of a boiling lake."_

_Sokka turned away, not wanting to face the horrific reality._

"_It's inescapable," finished Zuko_

"_So where is this place?" Sokka made sure Zuko couldn't see his face_

_Zuko started, "Why do you need to know! What are you planning!"_

"_Nothing," insisted Sokka, "You're so paranoid!" he turned back to Zuko, shrugging._

_Zuko gave him a look, "It's in the middle of a volcano, between here and the Western Air Temple."_

"_Thanks Zuko!" Sokka gave an exaggerated yawn and stretched his arms above his head, "Just knowing makes me feel better!" He headed towards his bed._

_Zuko watched him carefully. _

"_Yeah, I'm sure it does," he muttered._

_As soon as he lay down in his sleeping bag Sokka began formulating his plan. He had to go save Suki. Even though he loved Kya, he still felt responsible for Suki. If it wasn't for him she probably never would have been captured._

'_That's not true!' a little voice in the back of his head echoed, 'She's a warrior, she would have been captured eventually!'_

_Still, he needed to save her. They needed her for the invasion. _

_It was just something he had to do._

* * *

I ran until I could run no longer. My legs and my lungs burned, and I felt like collapsing in a little heap. I didn't remember it being so far away. What if they had moved? What would I do? Just as I was ready to give up I saw smoke from a camp-fire. A few more feet and I saw the light of the fire. The shadows flickering around it gave me new energy, and I started running again. As a result, when I reached the camp I couldn't breathe. It took me ten precious minutes just to catch my breath, during which time Katara and Toph helped me to a log by the fire, Iroh gave me a cup of tea, and Aang hovered around asking nervously what was wrong. I looked around for Sokka, and Zuko, but I couldn't see them anywhere. They must be off hunting or something.

When I finally was able, I spoke angrily to Aang.

"Settle down Tuaq. Stop talking. You're driving me crazy."

He blushed, "Sorry!" and sat down next to me.

"So what's going on?" he asked for about the fiftieth time.

Taking a deep breath in order to keep from hitting him, I began my tale of finding my mother, and what she said. Their faces grew more and more depressed as I went on.

"So… there is no Day of Black Sun?" Katara sounded like she just didn't _want_ to believe it.

"That's what she said."

"Look, Kya, don't kill me, but can we trust your mother? I mean, I know she's your mom and all, and that is about fifty points automatically, but she's also Fire Nation, and nobility at that. She might have been turned…"

I whirled on Toph, and I'm pretty sure my eyes were flaming, though I couldn't see them myself.

"My mother is nothing but trustworthy! How dare you even –" Iroh's calm hand on my shoulder stopped me. He said nothing, simply gave a look from kind eyes. I sighed,

"Sorry Toph. I thought the same thing at first. But no, she isn't lying. I would know… I can just tell."

Toph nodded.

"Sorry that we have to think it, but… ya know!"

"So, you want to take us to her?" Aang brought us back to the point.

"You and Katara." I turned to the other two, "Sorry guys, but it'll be hard enough with just those two, and I really need them."

Iroh and Toph nodded, understanding.

"So, do you want to leave now?" Katara had stood up, and she was packing a few things into a knapsack.

"When I am able to run again," I replied.

"I'll go get my stuff and say goodbye to Appa." Aang ran off in the Bison's direction.

"I'll get you some more tea, eh?" Iroh smiled and I realized that I had finished my tea.

"So," I turned to the girls as soon as the other two were gone, "Where's Sokka? And Zuko." I almost forgot Zuko.

My two friends exchanged a look.

"They're fishing," said Katara, the same time as Toph said,

"They're shopping."

I narrowed my eyes and looked from one to the other.

"What's really going on here?"

They exchanged another look, and this time it was Katara who spoke.

"They went to save Suki."

About a trillion thoughts flashed through my head.

I remembered Suki. I had met her when we were going to Ba Sing Se. She and Sokka had been pretty close… of course back then I hadn't really cared. I didn't know what went on between them then, but she'd left and we hadn't seen her since. I didn't even know she was captured… but I guess that was a logical assumption.

"Wha… H… Why?" It took me a minute to figure out what I was trying to say.

"Sokka said they needed her for the invasion." Katara gave me a sympathetic look.

Why did she do that? I didn't need her sympathy? So what if they needed her for the invasion, that didn't affect me!

"Where did they go?"

"The Boiling Rock."

Toph explained.

"So, basically they are voluntarily going into an impenetrable fortress?"

Katara and Toph nodded.

"Wonderful."

"C'mon, we need to get going. Your mother needs to be healed." Katara shot one last dubious glance at Toph before grabbing my arm and dragging me towards Aang. When she was sure I was following her she smiled and let go of my arm.

"Don't doubt his care. He really worries about you, Kya." I realized she was echoing my parting words to her, what I said when I was leaving for the capitol.

"How do you know?" I gave her a look full of despair.

"I just do. I'm his sister. I know things!" She gave a final nod of her head, to show she was right, and I had to believe her. There was simply no other option.

* * *

"Mother, this is Katara and this is Aang." Sneaking them in had been easy enough. I told the guards that they were some healers I knew from the city, and I'd had to go get them. That explained the time it took and the clothes they were wearing.

My mother tried to sit up, "Oh it is such an honor to meet you both! Never did I imagine that I would get to meet the Avatar or any of his friends!"

Aang smiled, "Not only did you meet my friends, you birthed one of them!"

Katara snorted at his use of the word 'birthed' and I smiled at his claiming me as his friend.

Li was looking at the two with gigantic eyes. I remembered her and grabbed her hand,

"Li, this is Katara and Aang, guys this is Li! She's become one of my closest friends in the last few days, and she's eager to help you."

Li smiled shyly, and nearly fainted when Aang shook her hand. As soon as he turned back to my mom she whispered, "Is he really taken? He is as awesome in real life!"

I almost laughed out loud, but I managed to keep it to a snicker.

"Yeah, sorry," I whispered back.

She shrugged and sighed, mock depressed.

I turned my attention back to my mother, who was talking excitedly to Aang.

"-Black Sun. I can feel things like that. I can feel the comet's approach."

Aang frowned, "But I can't feel it! Shouldn't I be able to? I can somewhat firebend."

Mom shook her head, "No. It wouldn't be a shock if you did feel it, but it isn't expected that you do. You're different."

He sighed, "Yeah, I get that a lot."

She put a hand on his, "You are different, yet the same. That is what makes you who you are. If you were too different you would be incapable of doing your job. Be strong Tuaq."

He frowned, "Kya called me that too! What does it mean?"

Mom smiled at me, "Literally it means, 'Old lump of ice frozen into new.' I believe we use it to call you 'Avatar' basically."

"Oh." He shrugged, "Ok. Well, thank you."

My mother began to speak but she stopped with a grimace, and clutched her stomach.

Katara immediately went over and opened her tunic, wincing at the sight of the giant wound.

"Kya, fill that basin up with water please." She waved her hand toward a basin in the corner. I nodded and followed her wishes, bringing the sloshing basin back to her. We bent the water onto our hands in a healing manner and moved them over Mom's stomach. It was amazing how the wound knit back together, and the red turned to normal flesh tones.

As soon as it looked fairly normal we pulled our hands away.

"We'll do that again tomorrow to make sure we didn't miss anything inside. For now you should be good." I smiled at my mother and she returned it.

"Thank you! I feel better already."

"Ok crew, let's head out. Hey Li, do you mind if Katara and Aang stay the night with us?"

She giggled, her eyes on Aang, "Not a bit…"

"Li!"

"Just kidding!" She grinned, "I'll show them the way. You can stay a few more minutes with your mom."

"Thank you!" I hugged her, "That really means a lot."

"See you later," called Aang

I nodded to them.

"You were wonderful. I'm proud of you, Kya." I turned back to my mother as she spoke

"Thank you, Aga. I did my best." I sat down beside her, "I'm so glad I found you. I've been waiting to see you for… months."

"I've been waiting to see you too. I knew I would see you again. I didn't know how, but I knew it would happen. It had too." She held my hand, like when I was little.

"I wish Liluye were here," I sighed.

"I know. And… your father." She gave a sigh of her own.

"I'm sorry Aga. I should have been able to save him. I should have…" I felt tears in my eyes, and fought to keep them from falling.

"No, Buniq. It wasn't your fault. If anything, it was mine. I was fighting right next to him. If only I would have fought harder… perhaps I could have broken free and saved him."

We sat in mournful silence for a while, releasing our tears. Suddenly my mother turned to me, a shocked expression on her sorrowful face.

"Kya, what about Helaku? Did he… survive?"

I shook my head, not wanting my voice to break.

"Oh Kya… c'mere illamareit." She pulled me into her arms and held me, rocking me like a little baby.

"I got to talk to him… before he died." I started sobbing.

"Shhh, you don't need to tell me now. It's all right." She continued to rock me for a bit, and then she whispered, "Tarralikitak sorartok?"

"No Aga," I replied, "Tarralikitak nukitarpalliawok. Just… Takrayok. Muy Takrayok, ningartok, annuttok."

"Serdlerk nunangoark kipingoyok," She queried.

"No. I… nagvarpok nutaroyok nukapiak. Krainkoyiyok Sokka. Tipsinartok, siorauyak, okradlakpok, nukilik, akiak. Ungayok. Opinnartok"

"Oh Kya. How amazing. Kuvianartok , anernerk!"

"Sungitok, Aga." I smiled at her. Suddenly the bell rang, signaling half past ten O'candle.

"I have to go. I'll get in trouble if I'm caught out past ten O'candle." I gave her one last hug

"Goodnight Kya, I love you."

"Goodnight mother. I'll see you tomorrow!"

****************

I wasn't surprised to find that everyone was still awake when I slipped into our room.

Aang was telling Li and Hitomi about how he had created the zoo in Ba Sing Se. They were staring, enraptured by the tale, while Katara was trying to hold back laughter.

"You forgot the part where people's pets got caught too…" She smiled good-naturedly, and Aang sighed,

"Oh yeah… that."

Li and Hitomi laughed.

"Well, I see you've gotten the ladies captivated." I grinned to show him I was kidding.

"Indeed." He grinned back

"Aang's stories are quite enthralling," Hitomi said, dryly.

"They really are!" Li was a bit more enthusiastic.

I smiled at her, "Toph sure thinks so."

A look of pure horror crossed her face, "I wasn't… I didn't…"

I smiled again, more genuinely, "I was just kidding! It's alright!"

She laughed, weakly, "Oh… yeah…."

"Ok kiddos, let's hit the hay! Time for bed! Aang, you can sleep in the bed below me, Katara you can sleep next to me."

They nodded their assent, and the three of us servants headed to the water closet.

As I scrubbed my teeth I listened to Hitomi talk about Fong.

"I ran into him today, and he totally said hi to me! I was just walking past, and I recognized him, but I was too shy to say hello, I was thinking 'what if he doesn't recognize me?' but he did and he waved and said hi. And then we started talking and he was really nice. He asked me what I was doing tomorrow night and I said nothing. And then…" She took a breath, probably for dramatic effect, "He asked me out! I mean, really! He asked if I wanted to skip out at dinner and go to a café in town!"

Li and I shrieked in delight,

"What did you say," Li gasped

"Yes, of course! And he smiled, and he looked so dreamy." She stared off into space and Li and I snickered.

"You're not so mad at us anymore are you?" I grinned evilly

"Nope, I still hate you!" She grinned back, "But I am thankful. I'll name our first two daughters after the two of you!"

The three of us laughed hysterically for a while, simply loving life.

"So, how was your mom," Hitomi asked, as soon as we could breathe again.

"She's great! She was wounded but Katara and I healed her."

"That's fantastic!" Hitomi smiled happily.

"She's really nice," put in Li

"Aw, thanks Li!"

"Ok guys, we better get going. They probably think we were sucked down the water drain or something…" Hitomi giggled.

"Yeah, right, as if we'd fit!" I giggled right back

"Are you saying I'm fat?" Li was mock indignant.

This set us off again, laughing hysterically.

"Ok, for real you guys! Let's go!" I was a bit worried about poor Aang and Katara.

We exited the closet and got tucked into our respective beds. Turns out I needn't have been worried. Aang was already asleep and Katara was reading a scroll.

She smiled and put the scroll down as I climbed into bed.

"I'm glad you found your mom!"

"I am too. Thanks for all your help!" I smiled back.

"Of course," she replied, "Anytime."

I tried to fall asleep, but something was still hurting my heart.

"Katara?" I whispered, so as not to wake the others

"Mmhmm?"

"Um, Sokka…"

She stopped me, "Kya, Sokka loves you."

"Then why did he go save Suki? I know they had something, Katara. I don't know how serious it was, but they liked each other."

"I don't know," she sighed, "I think he thought it was his fault. That she got captured, I mean. And don't ask me why he thought that. I know my brother, but not that well. Don't worry about it, Kya. I know he loves you, he told me so. In the note he left."

"Thanks"

"Yep"

I tried to feel better. I really did try. But there was still a nagging feeling, something telling me she was wrong. What if she was wrong? Could I handle another heartbreak? Half of me said yes, the other said no.

I suppose I wouldn't know until it happened. Which, hopefully, it wouldn't.

Hopefully.

* * *

(A/N) i-amawriterDOTblogspotDOTcom/2010/03/shila-chp11-niviorpokDOThtml


	13. Padlakpok Ungayok

The next morning came too early. The bell rang at seven O'candle, as usual, and we all got out of bed reluctantly.

"I didn't think we were up that late last night! Why am I so tired," Hitomi complained.

"I don't know, but I feel the same!" I groaned, and stretched out my sleepy frame.

"Let's go check on your mother," said Katara, who actually seemed rather awake.

I nodded, "I'll just tell the headmistress"

I slipped out of the room, marveling at the stillness of the hall. I walked lightly, something I loved doing. Most people could care less about the way they walked, but I loved to be aware, to walk on my toes, completely silent. It seemed that I was rather silent this time, because I was able to creep up on two boys standing outside of their room. I hid behind a pillar and listened. No, I wasn't bad, just bored!

"I really like her!" I recognized the voice as Fong's

"Yeah, right. I thought you liked that other girl, the new one?" I guessed that the other boy must be Chan, Fong's friend and roommate.

"No. I mean, she's pretty, but I don't _like_ her." They must be talking about me. How flattering.

"Oh. So you like this girl… Hatime?"

"Hitomi!" Fong seemed exasperated

"Ah, right. So that means new girl is open?" Ok, now I wasn't flattered, I was annoyed.

"Well, you'd have to ask her!" Fong almost sounded like how I felt.

"Right, right. She is hot, that's for sure." Oh, he was going to get it.

"Man, why don't you like somebody for a deeper reason. Just because she's hot doesn't mean she'd make a good girlfriend or wife!" Thank you! Although, I'd like to think I would make a good girlfriend or wife, but that was beside the point.

"Aw, c'mon! You know looks have to start it! Now I'll go figure out how her brain is."

Fong didn't give a reply.

"I'm gonna go find that sweet thing," declared Chen

Oh no. Oh, I was going to kick his butt.

I backed up a bit so they didn't know I was listening, and then began walking down the hall, careful to keep my footsteps audible. I wanted to pass them, and see what he would do.

Sure enough, as I walked by he called,

"Hey Sugar, wanna talk? Or, we don't have to talk… we could do something else…"

Fong gave a disgusted gasp, and I whirled around.

"Excuse me?"

"C'mon babe!" I had him pinned to the wall in five seconds flat.

"You do not talk to me that way, understand?" I let my hands that were holding his wrists heat up, and he began to squeal in pain.

"Ok, ok! I get it! Sorry!"

I let him go reluctantly.

"So, um, ma'm, do you want to talk? Um, just talk?" He gave a nervous smile.

"I cannot believe you! No, I do not! I'm taken anyway!" Kinda.

"Oh… well, if anything changes,"

"It won't," I interrupted, "Fong, let's go."

Fong shot a nervous glance at Chen, and then turned to follow me.

"Um, about back there," he started, as soon as we were out of earshot of Chen, "He… he didn't mean it..."

"Don't make excuses for him, Fong. He meant everything he said." I shook my head in disgust, and Fong sighed

"Yeah, he did. I just don't understand him."

"It's alright. You did well coming with me."

He nodded.

By this time we had reached the Headmistress's office the usual morning crowd had gathered. I noticed Hitomi and Li slipping in, and an odd look crossed Hitomi's face when she saw me and Fong. She fought her way through the mass toward us.

"So, you ran into Fong this morning?" her tone held a hint of malice, and I couldn't figure out why it was there.

"Yeah. He and Chen were talking, and I had to kick Chen's butt. That's what took me so long."

"Right," She frowned.

"She's right, Hitomi. He was being a jerk." Fong finally spoke

"Why didn't _you_ kick his butt then?" She whirled on Fong.

"Because he was being a jerk to me! Fong had nothing to do with it! What is your problem?" I was rather fed up with her tone, and looks.

"I just… I…" She was a bit dumbfounded

"Sorry for yelling at you," I sighed, "I'm just a bit on edge."

"S'okay. I'm sorry for jumping on you. I just have trust issues." She smiled, "Forgiven?"

"Of course!" I hugged her.

"Touching, quite touching. Now c'mon Katara is waiting! And Hitomi is going to help; she wants to meet your mom!" Li was there, quite suddenly, giving us orders.

"Okeedoke!" I went and told the headmistress of our actions, and Hitomi and I went to meet Katara.

"So, you really think he likes me?" She bit her lip

"I know he does! You should have seen the way he looked when he saw you! He was completely happy and excited." I patted her back, "You've got it good, Illamar!"

"Thanks. I'm so happy, for once in my life, completely happy!" She actually jumped up and down.

I smiled wearily, "Must be nice."

She immediately stopped jumping.

"Kya! What's wrong?"

"It's Sokka. He went to save an old flame of his, and I don't know if it's because he still likes her, or if he was just being chivalrous, or if it's just a random thing and I don't need to even worry. But even if it was for no reason, he's still in danger, and he could die, and…" I stopped to take a breath and Hitomi cut in.

"Look, I'm pretty sure he doesn't still like her, it's simple logic. From what I've heard, this Sokka isn't a two-timer. If he told you he likes you, he really does. As far as being in danger… can't help that, sorry!"

I sighed, but didn't say anything else because we had reached Katara.

"Took you long enough!" She smiled to show she was kidding, "You guys ready?"

"Yeah. Let's go." I didn't bother smiling. It wouldn't make a difference.

* * *

"Thank you so much! I am pain free!" Mother smiled at me and Katara, "And you, Hitomi, thank you for being there for Kya. I know she considers you among her closest of friends. You have helped her, so much." She extended her smile to include Hitomi.

Hitomi blushed, "Thank you Lady Zia. It has been my pleasure. Kya has been a great friend to me too."

"Ok, enough happiness. Mother, will you leave with me now?" I wasn't feeling gracious enough to put it lightly.

"Kya, I can't! There are… things I have to do."

"Things? What things? Mom, you're a prisoner! There are GUARDS outside! You are LOCKED in here, and NO-ONE is going to do anything about it, except ME! And I can't stay here FOREVER!"

"Kya, the guards will hear you!" Hitomi put a warning hand on my shoulder.

"Right. Sorry." I sighed, "How long, Mother?"

"I need to see Ozai. He'll probably call for me today."

"What? Why on earth would you WANT to see that EVIL"

"Kya!" Hitomi stopped me just in time

"Evil," I gasped out, "I'm fine… sorry again."

"Kya, you go be with your friends! Come back in two days and get me. I'll be ready then."

I shook my head, aghast to find tears in my eyes.

"I can't leave you, not again."

"You must, Kya. You must. I love you Buniq!"

"I love you Aga."

Hitomi grabbed my arm gently.

"Let's go."

I let her lead me out, Katara following. I felt horrible, and was glad for the support.

When we got to our room she motioned for me to sit on the bed, and she sat across from me.

"Kya, something is wrong with you. Why are you so morose, and moody?"

"I don't know. I just… feel bad."

Katara had stayed silent up until now, but when I said that she came over and put her hand on my forehead.

"You're burning up! Hitomi, do they have sick days in this place?"

Hitomi nodded.

"Well she needs to take one. Tell the headmistress, or whatever she's called."

"I'll go right now." Hitomi got up and moved toward the door.

"Don't stop and cavort with Fong, you lover girl!" I giggled. Something really was wrong with me! Katara and Hitomi exchanged a worried look and Hitomi went a little more quickly through the door.

"Ok Kya, lay down. I'm going to get you some water."

I nodded, weakly. As soon as I lay down on the soft bed my eyes felt heavy. I told myself I'd just close them for a bit, just to relax. I was asleep as soon as they shut.

*******************

When I woke up it was to the sound of heated argument. Quiet, but heated.

Katara and Hitomi were arguing, and it seemed to be about me.

"She needs to be in a comfortable bed, safe from the elements and from the great outdoors! Can your camp give her that?"

"No, but she needs to be with her friends. She belongs with us, in case you didn't know!"

"Excuse me? I am her friend too! How dare you say that just because you've known her longer you are a better friend! That doesn't matter anyway! What matters is that she be safe and comfortable, which is what she'll get here!"

"But she is in danger every moment she stays here! She isn't safe!"

"Guys!" My voice came out a bit weaker than I intended it to.

They turned guiltily to me

"Don't I get a say in this?"

They exchanged a look.

"I want to go to the camp."

Katara looked triumphant, and Hitomi looked crushed.

"I'm so sorry Hitomi. I just… I need to see Sokka."

She nodded, "I don't blame you. You'll come back right?"

"To see my mom, at the least."

"As long as you say hi to me then, I'll be alright." She smiled weakly.

"Thank you." I lay back down, talking had worn me out more than I expected.

I fell right back asleep.

The next time I woke up I was in the camp, and I was able to sit up.

"I feel much better!" I spoke to Katara who was there watching me.

"Good, I'm glad. Don't go overboard though. Iroh thinks you had Firebending Fever. Apparently it's pretty common… when you're stressed. He says Zuko's had it before."

"Oh. Will I get better?"

"Yep. He gave you some tea, said it would help." She continued talking, but I stopped listening. Sokka, Zuko, and Suki were coming up over the rise, and they looked perfectly happy.

Sokka had apparently said something funny, because he was grinning and Suki and Zuko were laughing. As I watched Suki put her hand on Sokka's arm and said something that sent Zuko into laughter again. Sokka grinned and put his arm around her, and said something. She laughed and twirled out from under it, and Zuko kept laughing. I realized I was crying, and Katara had stopped talking.

"Kya, he…"

"Don't," my voice cracked, much to my chagrin.

I realized Sokka had seen me. He was running to me, shouting my name.

"Kya! Kya!" he reached me and enveloped me in a hug that I didn't return.

"Kya, I'm so glad you're safe! Is your mom here? Did you find her? I'm so happy to see you!"

"I could tell. You looked like you were missing me so much up there." I said the words with no emotion, and he pulled back.

"What?" he looked sincerely confused.

I sighed, "I need to talk to you. Help me up."

He obliged, helping me to my feet and letting me lean on him, something I really didn't want to do but had to. We started to walk, but Katara stopped us.

"Kya! Don't overexert yourself, ok?"

Glad that she hadn't given me a lecture on the virtues of her brother, I nodded.

When we were out of earshot we stopped, and Sokka let go of me. Glad I could stand by myself, I began my berating.

"Sokka, how could you?"

"What are you talking about?"

"How could you go save Suki? I thought you loved me! How can I trust you when you go running off after old lovers?"

"Kya! I wasn't 'running after her' I was saving her! It was an obligation, it was my fault she was captured!"

"How? Please, Sokka, how was it your fault? Katara told me she got captured saving Appa!"

"I told her I would protect her. And… I didn't."

"Are you going to keep that vow forever? If some loser breaks her heart, are you going to go patch it up? 'Cause I can't live like that, Sokka! I can't have you running to her all the time!"

"I'm not going to do that! I just had to rescue her from this, but never again!"

"You say that. You looked pretty happy up there, Sokka. If I give my heart to you, I have to be sure that you will love me more than her! I can't have you breaking it… it's been broken already."

He looked horrified, "Kya, I don't love her. I thought I did, once, but… not now."

"And why would it be any different for me? I've been in love before; it's more than just holding hands! Love is commitment and compromise, and sacrifice and joy. Please Sokka, I couldn't stand the pain of you leaving, I don't want all this to be for nothing! I would love to love you… but I can't fall in love until I know I won't get hurt." I wasn't surprised to feel tears streaming down my face.

"Kya," He held his hand out, but I didn't take it. "I love you Kya. I know what love is. I didn't… what happened with Suki wasn't good, but it was amiable. It didn't work out on both sides. I don't love her, Kya, I never have. Please believe me."

I was alarmed to find that I did believe him. I was also greatly alarmed to find I couldn't stand up anymore. I was swaying, and falling and suddenly he was there, catching me.

"I want to always be there to catch you, Kya."

His face was oh, so close. I couldn't take it, my anger had dissipated.

"I want you to always be there too. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry I left without asking." He smiled questioningly.

I replied with a kiss.

* * *

(A/N) - i-amawriterDOTblogspotDOTcom/2010/03/shila-chp12-padlakpok-ungayokDOThtml


	14. Tonrar

When I woke up I saw that Sokka was still sitting next to my sleeping bag. He had been there every time I woke up. It was comforting, but… I wasn't on death's door. I didn't want him to feel beholden.

Whatever.

After I'd kissed him, I'd collapsed. It was rather hilarious for him, but embarrassing for me. Katara said I'd just gotten exhausted, and fainted, but that didn't make it any better. Since then, I'd slept on and off, always seeing Sokka's face when I awoke.

Currently, he was watching the group at the campfire. They were just out of earshot, but it was obvious that they were having a good time. Iroh was teaching Suki and Katara Pai Sho, Zuko and Toph were arm wrestling, and Aang was playing with Momo. As we watched, Toph beat Zuko and she jumped around triumphantly. He hung his head and said something that made everyone else laugh.

"They seem to fit so well together. Grouping off so easily." The words came before I could run over them; make sure they didn't contain something bad or offensive. Guess my filter dissipated when I was sick. At least I had an excuse.

Sokka looked back at me, surprised as if he had forgotten I was there.

"Um… yeah. We all kinda just fit, you know. Going into our couples, so easily." He smiled at me

Right. A part of me rebelled. I had always been stubborn, and now my stubborn side was nagging at me. _So easily _he had said. I didn't go into anything easily. If it was that easy then it was wrong.

What? That was crazy! Hadn't Sokka tried to use that exact same argument on me, weeks ago? I sighed, subduing my rebelliousness as usual.

"Can I get you anything?" Sokka's query pulled me out of my musings.

"No, I'm fine," I replied quickly. Then I winced, "Actually, some water would be great."

He nodded and went to the bowl by the tent wall, filling up a cup with water.

"Here you are!" he leaned down and handed me the water, and gave me a kiss on the forehead. I felt myself pull away from him and I didn't know why. Just something that was bugging me that I couldn't figure out.

"Thank you." I drank the water gratefully and he went back to his seat. He continued to watch the rest of the gaang with longing.

"Sokka," I began when I finished my water, "You don't have to stay."

He turned quickly, "No, I'm fine! Sure I have to, I love being here with you!"

I realized he thought of this as a test. If he was really devoted, he would stay. If he left, he thought that meant I would think he didn't love me. I had to make him see that I didn't think of it that way.

"Sokka, I really am ok without you here. I'm just going to go back to sleep. Please, it won't hurt me one bit if you leave. Really, I mean it."

He gave the campfire one hopeful glance before turning back to me, "But, you're all alone… you need to have someone here…"

"How many times do I have to say it, I'm fine!"

"Well, if you're sure you're ok…"

"I am," I shot in

"I guess I could go. Just for a few minutes…"

"Stay as long as you like!" I gave him a smile, "I'll just be sleeping! I won't miss you, not while I'm asleep!" Hope that didn't sound harsh…

"Ok then. I love you." He gave me another kiss on the forehead.

"Mmmhmm. 'Bye!" I watched him walk the short distance to the campfire, where he was greeted with smiles and questions. He apparently answered them to satisfaction, because soon he was competing against Zuko in an arm-wrestling match, with Toph refereeing.

I settled in to sleep, welcoming the relief.

************

When I woke, I wasn't surprised to see Sokka there again. I smiled at the sight of his rugged blue shirt, which was all I could catch through my bleary eyes. I felt bad for being so distant and cold earlier; he was just trying to prove himself. I don't know why I'd felt weird. Looking at that figure now, I could feel that it was who I was supposed to be with, forever even.

"I'm sorry, Karpok, for earlier." I smiled and reached my hand toward his.

His sudden laugh chilled me, a different coldness than any I'd ever felt. That laugh was not Sokka's.

"Hungry? Either you're losing your knowledge of the language, or you're just saying anything. I wouldn't normally describe myself as hungry." Sokka's head turned and my eyes finally cleared. It was not Sokka sitting beside me, but another young man. Someone I had not expected to see in this life again. Unless… but no, that was crazy.

"H…Helaku?" I reached for his face, and then drew back, not wanting to touch him in case he disappeared.

"It's me alright!" He grinned and grabbed my outstretched hand. He felt so real… warm and soft.

"How… why…" I didn't understand. The twilight pouring in through the open side of the tent seemed real. I could see the campfire and everyone around it, and they looked real. I realized that Sokka was still arm-wrestling Zuko, and Iroh was still teaching the girls Pai Sho. Nothing had changed. Just the time of day… I realized I could see the full moon through the tent opening also.

"It seemed like you needed to talk to me. So, I came. Definition of an Atka." He leaned down and kissed my cheek.

I needed to talk to him? Why? I thought over my last few days.

Oh my.

I had felt distant from Sokka, felt something pulling me back. I couldn't agree to have a relationship, to commit. I was harsh and cold and distant. I was sick, sick at heart.

I hadn't let him go. I still loved Helaku.

But that was crazy; of course I still loved Helaku! Just because someone dies, doesn't mean you stop loving them. It doesn't mean you can't love other people, either. It's a different kind of love!

I remembered the feeling, looking at Helaku's back. How I knew that was my 'true love.'

Oh maiksuk! All of it was bison! Why on earth did I spend this much time on it? Helaku was dead, and much as I could wish and hope, he wasn't coming back. Sokka was alive and well, and prepared to love me for possibly forever. And I loved him too; at least I'd thought I had.

Perhaps… perhaps I should just not worry about it. But would he still be there when I decided he was worthy of my anxiety? Maybe… yes he would understand that. I'd tell him right away. I got painfully out of bed and made my way towards the campfire, but I was stopped by another hearty laugh from Helaku.

"Going somewhere? You have to wake up first, Quannik." He smiled

"Then wake me up! I want to talk to Sokka!" I was getting rather annoyed.

What right did Helaku have to come and mess me up? I hadn't needed him. I would have been just fine without him. I had gotten over him, accepted his death, and now…

Ugh, I was really mad at him. Why wasn't he letting me go?

He was watching me, and I could tell he saw my every thought. He had an easy smile on his face.

"I can't wake you up. You have to do it yourself."

"You brought me here! You… you have to get me out!"

"I didn't bring you here, you summoned me. I believe we have gone over this already…"

"Bison! You completely brought me here! I wasn't thinking about you at all!" I had begun to scream. Great.

"Yes, Yuralria, you were." The smile never left his face

"Don't call me that! Don't call me anything! Let me out of here!" I ran up and started hitting him. It was pitiful and pathetic, and he gave an exasperated sigh.

"How many times do I have to say it, I have no power."

I stopped hitting him and instead gave him a stare that would freeze the warmest of hearts. My green eyes reached a level of hate and iciness I didn't know was possible.

"Everything you are saying is a lie. You are not the Helaku I know. Either the spirit world has changed you, or you simply are not Helaku. Either way, I do not want to be in your presence any longer. Let me go." The words were said in an emotionless, yet demanding, tone. I didn't flinch as his face grew twisted and thunderous.

"You don't tell me what to do, GIRL! I am Macahty, the spirit of confusion and sickness. I am more powerful than you will ever be! More powerful than your stupid, dead betrothed, with his Atka tricks… he would never be able to appear as clear as this! Don't even_ try _to demand, because it will make me angry. You don't want to see me angry, do you?" His own voice had taken on a strange accent. It had also become dangerous, it sounded as if he was on the brink of a breakdown, or something.

"Spirit of confusion and sickness? You mean…" I trailed off, wanting him to complete my scattered thoughts. I felt that there was something I was missing, but I was too scared and annoyed to track it down.

"Yes, dear girl, I was behind your sickness. And your, er… gentlemen confusion too." He seemed rather pleased with himself.

"Why… why me?" It was a rather clichéd question, but I was genuinely curios.

"Oh, Kya. Why not you, is more like it! You are a perfect victim. Your family is all dead. You are traveling with the Avatar! And you… you thought you were happy! It was simple work to come in, strike you down with Firebender Fever and give you doubts about your life. You have a rather complex life, waterbender. Or should I say firebender? Your life is perhaps more complex than even you know!  
"I found it rather amusing to plant little seeds of doubt in your mind. Nothing was hard either. You were already weak from your pathetic attempt at firebending. I simply came in and fanned the flames. You are a rather pitiful being. Falling sick so easily. Doubting yourself so easily too. Imagine… they consider you a warrior! If only they knew how conflicted you are inside. I don't believe warrior would be the term they would use." He stopped and surveyed me with a wicked grin.

I felt sick. He was still in Helaku's form, which made every word all the more stinging. I couldn't take any more. I started towards the campfire. I would just run until I was far away from him, and then try everything to wake up. It had to work. Something had to work.

As soon as I began to move he frowned.

"No, no. I'm not done with you yet, Kya. The guest of honor can't leave the party early!"

To my absolute and utter horror I found that I was frozen. I literally couldn't move. I screamed, and was relieved that my voice still worked.

"You… you… tireganierk! You kappianartoraluk , suinnak, unwangamiutak, assiminik, piktaungitok, ningarsareitok, naglingnartok, nudyuartok, illitsuitok, piugartok –"

He cut me off.

"Now, now, Kya. Not too much. I am patient, but even I cannot take much abuse. If you want to retain your voice, I suggest you silence it." He was beginning to lose the suavity. I could tell I was annoying him.

"Very well, nadlerkotauyok ikkumaaluk"

"Very funny. I'm already in it, dear. Now shut up and let me monologue. You see, I want you to do something for me. Your mother… she has something she's not telling you. Something important. It may even change the way you see her! I need you to go ask her what that is." He was pacing in a circle around my immovable form. "It shouldn't be hard. One look from those leafy eyes and she'll melt. She won't want to, but she'll tell you."

"Why should I do this? Why should I do _anything_ you say?!" My eyes were the opposite of leafy now. They were enraged.

"Because if you don't, I won't leave you alone."

"You mean… if I ask her, you'll let me be?"

"Indeed." He had regained his depraved smile, and his deceitful charm was being laid on thick.

"Fine," I couldn't believe I was agreeing to his maniacal schemes, "I'll do it."

"Wise choice, dear girl."

"Don't call me that. Let me go."

"Very well. I suppose I won't be seeing you again. Unless you don't ask her, of course."

"Wait!" I realized a loophole, "If I find out her secret another way… you'll still leave me alone, right?"

Annoyance flickered briefly across his face, and I realized that he had known about that the whole time.

"Naturally," he replied, with just a slight edge.

"Good. Now let me go."

He snarled, but dipped his head. Next thing I knew I was waking up to the nervous faces of my friends.

****************

"Sokka, I need to talk to you." It was the first thing I said. Katara started to speak, but Zuko stopped her by murmuring something in her ear. She frowned, and watched as Sokka led me a bit away.

"What is it, Kya? Are you ok? You were asleep for a whole day! You just didn't wake up, and then you were talking in your sleep, stuff about… hell? Except you were talking in your native language… Katara and Toph were having to translate, but they didn't know all of it, and we were worried, and then I was wondering if you were ever going to wake up, and I was thinking what I would do if you –"

"SOKKA!"

"Oh," He blushed, "Sorry! I was just really worried."

"I know. I'm really, really sorry. And, I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier, and I'm sorry I was so cold."

He shrugged, "It's ok."

"I need… I need to ask you something."

"Sure. Anything."

"Will you still be there for me if… if we just…" I trailed off, looking to the rising moon for support.

"Go ahead" he was frowning.

"I… I was under the influence of Macahty, the spirit of sickness and confusion. Now I don't know what I felt, or what he made me feel. Add to that the pressure of having to worry about my mother, and the war…"

"What are you saying?" He didn't sound harsh, but I could tell he knew what was coming.

"I just… I don't want to have to think about a relationship. Relationships take work, and dedication, and I don't want to rush into one and mess it up because I don't have the time…"

"You… you're… breaking up with me?"

The way he said it was so absurd, I almost laughed. Almost. I managed to keep myself from it.

"No. Well, it's your choice. When the war is over, and my mother is safe, I want you to be there. I think I love you, Sokka, but I don't want to take the time and stress to figure it out now. It's horrible, selfish, and cruel, but I don't think I can handle you right now. I just want to wait."

He was staring at me incredulously.

"Look, I'm not pursuing you until after the war. If you choose to wait until then, I think I will be more than happy to let you into my life. If you choose to go after someone else…" I shot a meaningful glance over his shoulder to Suki, "If that is your choice, then so be it. I will probably regret it and hate myself the rest of my life, but that will be my burden." There, I said it all. I took a deep breath, feeling a release in my chest. It was so good to be free.

"I'll be there." His voice was solid and determined.

I looked up in surprise.

"Whenever you're ready. I'll be there." He smiled

"You mean it?" I was ashamed to find tears in my eyes.

"I mean it." He was crying too.

"Thank you. I… Thank you."

He hugged me close. "Just don't worry about it."

* * *

(A/N) - i-amawriterDOTblogspotDOTcom/2010/04/shila-chp13-tonrarDOThtml


	15. Narpok

_Currently, she was cooking. She was helping Katara, stirring the soup. As he watched, Kat said something and she threw back her head with laughter. Zuko, walking up, asked what was so funny and she promptly replied 'Your face.' Zuko, naturally, took immediate offense, thinking she was referring to his scar. She rolled her eyes and hit him lightly in the arm, declaring that it was a joke. Zuko hung his head in embarrassment. _

"_Kya, Kya!" Toph was walking up quickly_

"_What is it Toph, are you ok?" She transferred her attention from Zuko, worriedly._

"_When's lunch?" Toph grinned_

"_Tooooph!! I thought something was wrong!" Kya frowned angrily_

"_Something is wrong, I'm starving!" _

"_Lunch will be ready in about ten minutes," interjected Katara placidly. _

"_Fine. I'll go find Aang, Suki, and Iroh." Toph skipped off and Kya shook her head. _

"_That girl will drive me off the edge," She muttered _

_Zuko laughed, "She is a bit extreme." _

_Kya smiled and nodded, turning back to the soup. As she stirred, she started humming. It was all he could do not to go grab her in his arms and hug her tight. He knew she wouldn't let him, though. She would kill him if he tried. _

_Slowly, he recognized the song she was humming. It was the song that the nomads had sung about the Cave of Two Lovers. Something about secret tunnels. He smiled, remembering the words as she hummed them. That had been fun, being in the tunnels with those insane nomads. His remembrance was interrupted by a sudden movement from Kya. _

_He realized she had looked up, and finally seen him watching her. Her face became stormy, and she shot him a look of annoyance. _

_Couldn't she tell? He'd said he'd be there, and he would, but he didn't have to like it. Every minute he wasn't holding her was a minute wasted, in his opinion. Couldn't she tell he was falling to pieces? _

_He supposed that when hearts were broken, they didn't break evenly._

*******************

I found that I was glad to go back to the Palace. As much as I loved my friends and felt at home in the camp, I missed my mom, Hitomi and Li. Plus, I was finding it hard to be in the same camp as Sokka. I would be working, cooking, or even just talking to someone else and I would find him looking at me. It was unnerving and annoying.

As soon as I had woken up I had felt completely fine. Better than fine even! I was up and at 'em the next day, cooking lunch and helping around the campsite.

I told them of my plans to go back when we were gathered around eating lunch.

"It's been more than two days. I'm sure my mom is ready to come back." I hoped and prayed that they wouldn't try to keep me.

"Are you just going to go get her and come back? What is your plan?" Zuko frowned, confused.

"That was pretty much my plan. I was wondering though… when are you guys planning on attacking?"

"We're going to wait until the comet. Three days," Aang replied.

"Why on earth would you wait for that?" I didn't get it. That would mean that the firebenders would be at their top power.

"Because Aang will be at his most powerful," Katara answered, which made me feel like an idiot for forgetting that he was a firebender too.

"Things are happening. The Fire Nation is starting to send war balloons to the earth kingdom. The White Lotuses are planning to retake Ba Sing Se. And word is that Ozai is planning to head the army and burn the earth kingdom to the ground." Iroh's words were horribly calm. It reminded me of first hearing Aang's plans and my astonishment at the way he spoke of the Fire Nation.

"The day of the comet is when the Fire Nation plans to completely burn the Earth Kingdom. We don't have any time after that. And it will take us all three days to organize our forces." It was Zuko who spoke definitively.

"Ok. I'll go get my mom and try to convince Hitomi, Li, and Fong to join us. I'll be back here tomorrow." I was trying to ignore the doom and gloom that had spewed from Zuko and Iroh.

"What if you're not back by tomorrow?" Sokka frowned

"I will be," I retorted angrily. Why did he doubt me?

"Fine. But if you aren't back by that night, I'm coming to get you." He said the words matter-of-factly, with no hint of care or love. I slowly realized that I wasn't going to move him.

"Fine."

Suki's eyes widened at our spat, "Be safe, Kya," she said, rather obviously trying to change the subject.

"I will." I smiled at her. Once I had gotten over my jealousy I had come to like Suki. She and I could be good friends, if we tried. And it seemed like we would try.

Toph came over and hugged me, "See ya later! Don't die!"

"Ok," I grinned and hugged her back.

"So you're leaving now?" Katara frowned

"Yep."

"Are you well enough?" her frown deepened

"I'm great. Once I got rid of Macahty I got rid of the sickness." Was she really going to try to keep me?

"Ok. Be careful!" She let a quick smile show through, which made me happy.

"I'll see you guys tomorrow." I waved as I grabbed my bag and began walking towards the city. Everyone replied with goodbyes and stay safes.

I really was surprised at my happiness to be leaving.

************

I slipped quietly in through the servant's entrance, hoping that the headmistress wouldn't see me. I was praying that Hitomi had told her that I was staying in our room, still sick; otherwise my cover would be severely blown.

As I made my way towards my mother's room I saw evidence of the things Zuko and Iroh had been talking about. Servants were running around, harried and busy. I even thought I saw a glimpse of the Princess Azula.

When I slid through my mother's door I was surprised by the sight of Li, watching the door like a hawk. When she saw me she jumped up and rushed to give me a hug.

"Kya!! I'm so glad to see you!"

"Li! I'm glad to see you too, but where is my mother?" I returned her hug quickly, then pulled back to search her face for clues.

"That's why I'm here. They just took her to see Ozai, I'm here to take you to the Throne Room."

"Take me… but we're not allowed in there!" I was confused, as usual

"Don't worry… we have a way!" She grinned rather evilly, pulled me out of the room, and began running toward the Throne Room.

I was dragged along, skeptical about her 'plan.' When she stopped in front of the large throne room doors my skepticality wasn't lessened.

"What are we doing?" I frowned nervously at her

"Shhhh, just follow me!" She tiptoed past the menacing doors to a banner hanging on the wall, bearing the standard fire nation insignia. She pushed the banner aside and slipped into a thin crack in the stone walls.

"Li?" I followed her and found myself in a dark, warm room. No, it was the throne room! We were behind another banner, but we could still look out and hear everyone perfectly fine. As my eyes adjusted I realized that Hitomi was already there, waving to me. I waved back and shot her a quick smile before settling into a more comfortable position, where I could see and listen.

"Hello Zia. It's been so long." This was Ozai, and he had an evil smirk on his face. Although, I'm pretty sure I would think every expression of his was evil so I don't know if he_ meant _it to be.

"Ozai. I really did miss you," this was my mother, who actually sounded sad and regretful. I couldn't see her face, something I wasn't sure I was too disappointed about.

"I'm sure you did. I didn't miss you. Well, I suppose I did. A bit." He shrugged nonchalantly, "Have you met my daughter, Azula? She's quite the firebending prodigy!" He gestured toward the Princess, who was sitting beside him with a smug look on her face.

"Hello Zia," she said

"Hello Azula. It is a pleasure to see you, I must say."

"Indeed? I suppose it is a pleasure to see you too… I have only heard about you. You didn't exactly live up to my expectations, I must say." She cackled.

"I'm sorry for that." My mother sounded utterly weary.

"Well, now we've all been introduced, we can get down to business. Why did you leave, all that time ago?" Ozai frowned, and now he definitely looked evil.

"I didn't want Father to feel he was patching things up with Roku's family, simply by marriage!" She let a bit of conviction seep into her voice, but Ozai still resumed his smirk.

"You failed. He married me to Ursa, Roku's granddaughter and Thio's sister."

Wait, what was wrong with that sentence? Something was there, pushing on my brain, but before I could figure it out my mother was speaking again.

"And you had Azula. And Zuko too I hear. What happened to him, Ozai? And Iroh? Did they turn out to follow my side of thinking more than yours? Did you banish them? Your own son… heir. And Ursa… I haven't seen her! Where is she, Ozai? Where is your proud and stable family? All you have left is Azula, and she's not exactly the most stable from what I hear." Oh, mom was mad now. Her last words practically came spitting out. Azula's eyes flashed and she began to raise her arm to strike my mother down, but Ozai stopped her with a hand motion. His own eyes were scarily calm.

"I don't need a stable family to keep me in power, Zia. Family is nothing. I will have the whole world!"

"You are an idiot," this really was spat.

"Call me what you like. I don't care. Perhaps if you hadn't run when you did things would have been different. But you were always a coward."

"You haven't changed, Ozai. Simply gotten more evil. You killed Azulon, didn't you?"

"If you had been here, would you have stopped me?"

"Yes."

"You are a fool, sister." He let out an evil laugh

Sister? Did he mean?

Oh my. It all made sense.

Suddenly the world was spinning. I saw Hitomi's nervous face and then sweet black nothingness.

*****************

(A/N) -i-amawriterDOTblogspotDOTcom/2010/04/shila-chp14-narpok


	16. Audlarpok

When I came to I was still behind the banner in the throne room. Li was sitting next to me holding a wet cloth on my forehead and Hitomi was fanning me, chewing her lip nervously.

"Kya," Li whispered as she saw my eyes opening, "Kya, are you ok?"

"Um... yeah." I sat up, wincing as a sudden wave of dizziness washed over me. "I'm ok, I think. Sorry."

"Don't apologize. You had a right to faint… you're royalty! Isn't that just the craziest idea?" Hitomi giggled silently and I gave her a grateful smile.

"So what did I miss?" I resumed my position where I could see the throne.

Li rolled her eyes, "Only Ozai monologue-ing about how your poor mother was a coward. That guy really fans my flame!"

I snickered slightly at her words, but managed to pull myself together enough to nod in agreement. I turned my attention back to Ozai and my mom in time to hear her say,

"I don't regret running away, Ozai. I regret leaving you to your own devices. I regret not seeing your children grow up, and not meeting your wife. I regret not being able to say goodbye to Father and Mother. But I have a magnificent life. I married a wonderful man, had two beautiful, incredible daughters… I was happy. I still could be, if you'd let me go. Why are you keeping me?" She said the last bit pointedly.

"Why not? Zia, you're my little sister. It is my place in life to tell you what you cannot do!" He chuckled, "Plus, I need a Fire Lady. At this point, getting remarried isn't an option. All sorts of beastly people would try to get in, just because of my position." He made a scoffing noise, as if this sort of behavior was the worst kind of contemptible. "So it must be someone who is somehow else related to me and the Royal Family. Who better than my sister?"

I noticed that, sitting next to him, Azula was livid. Her hands were balled into tight fists, and they were faintly glowing blue. Her teeth were clenched in a scowl that knotted her brow and her eyes were like daggers. I could tell she could think of someone better to be Fire Lady. Surely Ozai realized this? It didn't seem like he did.

I forgot Azula's rage when I realized that my mother was speaking again.

"You must be insane to think I will become your Fire Lady. A pawn, a figurehead to make your government look stronger? I won't assist your megalomania, Ozai."

He frowned, "Very well. We'll see how you feel in a few days. Remember Zia dear, as fire lady you would be able to travel wherever you wanted. Not all the time, but every so often. Although, I heard your 'wonderful man' was killed. That's too bad…" He once again put on his annoying smirk.

"I would rather never see my daughters again than help you," she growled

"So be it. We'll see." He motioned to a guard who came and began to escort her out.

"Goodbye Aunt Zia, nice meeting you." Azula's voice was rather grating, I realized

"Goodbye Azula! It really was nice meeting you." My mom gave the maniac a real smile.

Sometimes I wondered about her. I personally hated the day I met Azula. But to each her own.

*****************

"Mom!" I ran excitedly into her arms.

"Kya! Are you feeling any better, dear?"

I explained about Macahty.

"I suppose I'm completely free of him now. I found out your 'secret'" I raised my eyebrows

"Kya…"

"It's fine mom! I just wish you would have told me."

"I'm sorry. It's just… news like that you don't exactly want circling around. I almost didn't tell your father, but I decided to. He was a very understanding man."

"Father knew!"

"Yes. I had no secrets from him, Kya."

I soaked all this in. Imagine; my father had known my whole life all the things I was just now finding out. Things that completely changed how I viewed my mother.

"Kya, are you here to take me?" My mom interrupted my revelations

"Yeah. We'll leave tomorrow morning. I need to talk to Hitomi and Li."

"Where are we going?"

"Back to camp, with everyone else." I was still thinking about my dad.

"So what –" whatever she was going to say, she was interrupted by the door opening. I jumped up and ran to the washbasin and pretended to be filling a pitcher. A tiny girl slipped into the room, carrying a tray of food almost as big as she was. Both my mother's and my eyes widened, and I immediately ran to take the tray from her. When she saw me she opened her mouth and started stammering,

"I'm s…sorry! I didn't kn… know they'd sent s…someone up! T…they just told m… me to take the food up…"

I smiled my most disarming smile, "It's ok. I was just helping Lady Zia with her clothes."

The little girl gulped, "Oh, ok. Well… I brought some food."

"Thank you," Mom spoke kindly, "I was very hungry!"

"Well, it wasn't my idea… I just brought it." She looked down at her scruffy shoes in embarrassment.

"Still, it was kind of you to bring it," Mom smiled, "What is your name?"

"Selina"

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Selina. I'm Zia."

"Um, hello Lady Zia."

"Just Zia, please!"

"Um… ok…" Suddenly the girl broke out into a giant smile, "My friend's name is Zia!"

"That's great!" I spoke up, eager to learn more about how this little girl came to be a servant in the palace, "How old are you, Selina?"

"I'm eight. How old are you?" My mom and I laughed at this sudden outburst, but I still answered.

"Sixteen."

Her eyes grew wide, "Are you betrothed?"

I sighed, "Nope. I was but he died."

Her face fell and I swore I could see tears in her eyes, "I'm so sorry!"

"It's ok. I've accepted it." I resumed my smile and pointed to a chair, "Please, sit down. You look tired!"

She complied, which surprised me, but I guess she was just used to taking orders, poor thing.

"So, Selina, tell us about your family." Mom folded her hands on her lap and settled back into the pillows on the bed.

Selina bit her lip, "Well, I have two older sisters and one older brother. But I don't know where they are. Or my parents. We were all captured when the Fire Nation attacked our village."

"You're Earth Kingdom?"

She nodded, and my mother and I exchanged a glance. This explained a lot.

Suddenly an idea sprang to my mind. It was crazy and it would be hard, but I was pretty sure it was necessary.

"Selina? Can you meet us here tomorrow right before sunrise?"

She frowned, but she nodded.

"Thanks sweetie. I'll see you then. I have to go." I gave my mom a hug, which Selina didn't comment on, and headed towards my room. This was going to be interesting, for sure!

*******************

"Mom and I are leaving tomorrow morning. You can come with us and I'll be extremely happy, or you can stay and I'll still like you." I smiled at them

"My life is just full of decisions!" Hitomi frowned.

"What else do you have to decide?" Li asked, not unkindly

"Fong… He asked me to marry him."

"WHAT?!" My screech caused both girls to jump up and put their hands over my mouth.

"Kya! It's past ten! We're supposed to be sleeping! Please, don't alert the headmistress!" Li gave me an incredulous look, as if she couldn't believe I would be so loud. Oh well.

"Sorry," I said, as soon as I got their hands off my mouth, "Just… isn't this a little soon? I mean, you guys have gone on what, ONE date? You could be crazy for all he knows! I mean, you're not, but…" I shrugged. "Just seems a bit hasty, to me."

"Kya, we're in the middle of a war. Waiting isn't something we've been bred to do. You do what you can, while you can." Hitomi said the words gently, as if she was my parent telling me that the Gift Spirit didn't exist; all along they'd been the ones giving the gifts. I rolled my eyes to show her I didn't like being patronized and then felt bad. I honestly hadn't thought about the war and it_ was_ a valid reason. Still…

"I know. I'm sorry Hitomi, I was just sorta shocked for a minute…"

"Sorta? Try super-duper!" Li smiled to show she was teasing

"Ok, ok, I was pretty loud! I was just concerned! But look, I'm… inviting, if you can call it that, Fong too. Perhaps you can help us, get to know each other a little better, and then you can answer him." I shrugged again, "It's just an idea!"

"I like it. I'll ask him, ok?" Hitomi graced me with a genuine smile

"When?" Li had to ruin it.

"Now, or early tomorrow?" It sounded like she was asking us.

"Now," I said. I didn't really care either way, just said what came to my mouth first.

"Um, how are you going to manage that? We're not exactly allowed in the men's sleeping quarters…" There Li went again. Always the realistic one. Oh well, we liked her anyway!

"So what? We're not allowed to be awake after ten, but here we are. We're not allowed to just leave, but we're going to. We're not allowed to listen in on the Fire Lord's private audiences, but we did! We're not allowed to Firebend, but we can! I don't think we're really the model servants… the rule followers and the meekly obedient" I thought perhaps I'd overdone it, but Li merely shrugged and said,

"Good point! Well, let's go!"

"Um… You guys don't have to come. I don't want you to get in trouble too…" Hitomi blushed

"Nope, sorry! You need lookouts. We're coming, whether you like it or not!" I grinned evilly, and Li quickly joined me.

"OK then!" Hitomi grinned back, "C'mon!"

**************

Li watched down one side of the hallway and I watched the other, while Hitomi went and knocked on the door.

To my great dismay, Chen answered it.

"Well hello there! What can I do for you?" He propped his arm on the door frame and leaned into it, probably thinking he looked cool.

Hitomi rolled her eyes, "I need to speak to Fong."

"He's sleeping," Chen replied bluntly, "But I'm sure I can help."

"No, I need to see Fong. Wake him up, please." I must admit I was pretty impressed that she remained polite, even to that jerk.

"Trust me; you don't want to talk to Fong when he's just woken up. I'll do just fine, I know it." He applied what he believed was a sexy smile, but it actually just looked creepy.

"Don't make me come in there!" Hitomi was rather obviously annoyed now.

"You can come in if you'd like. I'll show you around."

I couldn't take it anymore. I left my surveillance post and sauntered up to stand beside Hitomi.

"Chen! Long time no see!" I smirked

His eyes grew large

"Listen, my friend really wants to talk to Fong. I'd suggest you go get him and bring him out here, or you are going to get your butt kicked… again." I deepened my smirk and he nodded nervously.

When the door shut behind him Hitomi giggled,

"Thanks. I had him but… it was nice of you. How exactly _were_ you going to kick his butt? I mean, assuming you wouldn't use any bending."

"Hey, I'm as good at hand-to-hand as any traveler in this world!"

She raised her eyebrows skeptically

"Ok, ok, I was gonna call Li. That girl is fierce!"

"I heard that!" This came from the general direction where Li was supposed to be, and caused Tomi and I to laugh until we couldn't breathe.

We didn't stop laughing until Fong opened the door, and even then it took us a minute to catch our breath. He gave us a look of confusion and Hitomi blushed.

"I'm gonna go back on lookout!" I gave Hitomi an encouraging smile and slipped back into my place behind the column.

Quite a few minutes later Hitomi walked up and tapped me on the shoulder.

'Let's go,' she mouthed. I followed her; we got Li and went back to our room.

"Soooo…" I said as soon as the door shut. I knew he'd said yes. She was glowing!

"He thought it was a great idea. I, uh, had a bit of explaining to do, but once he had all the facts he was all for it." She let a massive grin explode on her face, and Li and I couldn't help but assimilate ones of our own.

"Congratulations Hitomi. I can't wait! Finally, we get adventure and action!" Li clapped her hands together excitedly

"Trust me; it's not all it's cracked up to be." Great, now I was the downer!

On that note, we went to bed.

***************

The morning found Me, Hitomi, Li, Fong, Selina, and my mother escaping out of the servant's entrance I had used so many times before. We managed to make it completely out of the city unharmed. I could practically hear Helaku… I knew he was there.

"Where are we going?" Selina's voice was so quiet and cute; it was hard not to go 'awwww'. Somehow I managed to restrain myself and give her a straight answer.

"A camp. The Avatar should be there, and some other people. Hopefully we'll be able to help them, and get a small measure of safety." I smiled at her.

We continued the rest of the way in silence, until we reached the hill where the camp was supposed to be. When we reached the first rise I could usually see it by, I saw nothing. Confused, thinking maybe I was just a few hills back (they all looked the same), I continued on. It wasn't until we reached the campsite, saw the blackened grass where the campfire had been, the fluttering white of a paper that was stuck in the ground, that I realized a horrible truth.

They were gone.

I picked up the note, trying hard not to cry. It was simple and concise

"_Kya,_

_Aang disappeared. We've gone to find him. Sokka wanted to stay, but we wouldn't let him, we knew you wouldn't like it. So sorry, but we had to! The world and all. :/ When you get this you can come look for us (I think we're headed toward the Earth Kingdom), or stay there. (Sokka just advised you to stay there, but it is your decision.)If you stay there, I don't know when we'll see you. Comet is tomorrow, but we don't exactly have a plan. If I don't see you before, good luck with whatever you do tomorrow. __I wish__ I'm glad to have met you, and thoroughly hope to see you again, however unlikely. Sorry again,_

_Katara"_

On the back was another note, one that completely broke me down. I couldn't hold back the tears that fell, soaking the paper. Hitomi came to read it and gave me a big hug.

"_I Love You_

_Sokka"_

* * *

_(A/N) i-amawriterDOTblogspotDOTcom/2010/04/shila-chp15-audlarpokDOThtml_


	17. Kazoku

After we got over the initial shock of the note we all just sat around, rather morosely. Hitomi and Fong sat together, his arm around her shoulders, and every so often she would fan the fire. Mom sat across from them, staring off into space. Li and Selina were playing some game off to the side, some sort of tagging thing, and I was carving drawings into the mud. We were all doing our best to try and think of a way out of our situation without thinking about the reality of our situation and it wasn't exactly working.

"I've got it!" Hitomi jumped up, startling us all. "My family!"

"What?" This came from Li

"We can go to my family! They are just four or so hours walk from here! We can go and stay with them while the comet passes, then go back to the palace and face what awaits us there afterwards!" She smiled triumphantly.

"I suppose that would work." Mother frowned

"I would love to see your family, Hitomi." Selina smiled sweetly.

"Thanks Selina!" Hitomi smiled back

"I love the idea! It's perfect!" This, naturally, came from Fong.

"So, it's settled. We'll go to Hitomi's family. Will they be ok with that?" I bit my lip. This was really all my fault, getting them into this mess.

"Sure, they'll love it!"

"Ok. Let's go. Lead the way!"

She grabbed Fong's hand and started walking in the opposite direction of the city.

* * *

"How much longer?" Selina's voice had lost its sweetness and was now pure whine.

"You asked that five minutes ago! The answer is the same, minus five minutes!" Li clenched her teeth agitatedly

"I don't know how to do math!"

"Selina! The point was, don't ask!"

Selina stuck her lip out in a classic pout.

"Look, there's a well. How about we stop and get some water?" It was rather obvious that Hitomi was trying to change the subject, but we all went along with it for the sake of peace.

"Yeah, I'm parched!" Hitomi shot Fong a grateful smile for his help.

Once we had all drunk our fill we set off again. Everyone's feet were dragging and we were all tired.

"So, nice scenery here," Li piped up.

It was the exact same scenery we'd been looking at for the past three hours, but I wasn't going to say anything.

* * *

"Ok guys, almost there! Can you see the house? And look inside that pen, those are my family's Koala Sheep!" It was completely obvious that Hitomi was glad to be home. She was practically bouncing off the walls… which must have been difficult since there _were_ no walls.

"I can't wait to meet your family!" Fong exclaimed. He was almost as hyper as Hitomi

"I can't wait to sit down," retorted Li.

I laughed, "Let's just get there ok?"

When we reached the door Hitomi knocked, then frowned slightly and opened it. We were accosted by the thick smell of roasting Koala Sheep, and fresh Leechi nuts. The smell of the nuts reminded me painfully of Momo, and naturally everyone else. When my eyes grew accustomed to the dim inside, as opposed to the bright sun outside, I was surprised by what I saw. The door opened to a mainly wooden room, with a fire and stove on one side and a table on the other. I could see another door straight across from the front one and I assumed it led to some sort of living room. A young-looking woman was smashing the Leechi nuts in a bowl, and a girl was turning the spit to roast the Koala Sheep.

The woman looked up to see who was coming in and dropped her bowl. She stood for a moment with her mouth open, then gasped

"Hitomi?"

Hitomi nodded, and I noticed that her eyes were watering slightly.

"Musume yo!" She ran to Hitomi and hugged her tightly, and Hitomi hugged back.

The girl stood up from her stool, looking incredulous.

"Onee?"

"Imouto," replied Hitomi, smiling

I assumed they were speaking the language of the Fire Nation, though I wasn't sure.

The woman looked at us curiously, and Hitomi blushed.

"Okachaan, these are a few of my friends. Kya, Li," she pointed to us as she said our names, "Kya's mother Zia, Selina, and um… my boyfriend Fong." She winced as she said the word 'boyfriend' but the woman didn't catch it. She was staring at Selina, looking rather shocked.

"Um guys, this is my mother, Di-Ana and my sister Lika," Hitomi continued

Her mother? That woman didn't look old enough to be her mother! Although… I realized if you looked close you could see the lines of care on her face, and her eyes spoke of years of untold sorrow.

We all muttered our 'nice to meet you'-s and gave formal nods, but Di-Ana was still watching Selina.

"Hitomi. I need to speak to you." Without taking her eyes off of the young child, she motioned Hitomi towards the door. Hitomi gave us a quick look of apology before heading through the door.

"So, think we're gonna be able to stay?" This came from the ever-realistic Li.

"Do you have anywhere else to go?" We looked, surprised, at Lika, who had spoken authoritatively

"Um, not exactly," I answered

"Then you'll stay. We're not cruel." She shrugged at the idea.

"Um… thank you!" Even though I wasn't sure she was the final answerer, I was grateful for her support.

"So, how old are you?" asked Fong

"Eleven," she answered, "What about you?" This wasn't asked the way Selina had asked me. It was obviously asked in relation to his attachment to Hitomi.

"Um… seventeen." He bit his lip nervously.

"Nice. At least you look good. Are you going to treat my sister right?" This girl was blunt.

"Watashi wa kanojo ga daisuki," he answered.

"Harasho! You have my blessing!" She smiled and patted him on the back. She reminded me implicitly of Toph, and the thought made me almost sad.

Di-Ana and Hitomi chose that moment to come through the door, and Hitomi looked like she'd seen a ghost.

"Selina…" she began, but the girl wasn't paying any attention. She was looking at a new figure moving through the door, and her face was lighting up.

"Ma ma!" Selina ran into the new woman's arms, and the woman promptly scooped her up and held her tight.

"Selina, wo nuer!"

"That is Selina's mother, Sali" explained Hitomi quietly, "And how she ended up here is apparently a long story."

* * *

That night we sat around the fire and talked. Hitomi's father, Rue-Li, and Selina's brother and father, Quin and Tiao-Nu, had been hunting, but as soon as they'd returned introductions had been made.

"How on earth did Selina's mother come to be here?" Li furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

"Well…" Di-Ana looked at Sali questioningly and Sali nodded, "Sali's husband was my brother."

"What!" This was Hitomi, who was looking at the two with a glance that was pure disbelief, "You mean Selina is my cousin? She said she was from the Earth Kingdom!"

"Yes. See, my mother was from the Earth Kingdom, but she moved to the Fire Nation, for some reason. There she met my father, a Fire Nation citizen, and they married and had me and Tiao-Nu. I married Ran Li, from the Fire Nation but Tiao went to the Earth Kingdom, fell in love with Sali, and they married. They had Selina, En-mao, Quin, and Kunlui, and I had Hitomi and Lika. When Selina's village was raided she, En-mao, and Kunlui were captured, but Sali, Tiao-nu, and Quin got out. They came here, the only place they knew to go." She watched Hitomi's face, which stayed incredulous

"Why did you never tell me about them?"

"I didn't want to get them into trouble. Even if you didn't mean to, you could have spilled something about them, and the Fire Nation would have killed them."

"What?"

"Ozai doesn't like his people having connections amongst the 'Earth Rebels' no matter how inevitable."

"Oh…" She surveyed the small family that she had never known and tears came, much to her chagrin.

"How about we get some sleep? I think we all need it," Fong lifted his arm from around Hitomi and took her hand, pulling her up gently.

Ran-Li frowned, "Hitomi, you can share your old room with Kya and Li. Fong, I'll show you to your room." He put his hand on the poor boy's shoulder and led him away from Hitomi, who snickered slightly.

"Does this mean you're moving back in? We really need the space!" This welcoming statement came from Lika, who was pursing her lips.

"I don't know," answered Hitomi, "And I won't for a while! C'mon girls."

"Goodnight Aga," I gave my mother a hug and followed Hitomi to her room.

"Tomorrow is the comet," stated Li when we were all tucked in.

"I know. But what can we do?" I felt helpless without the gaang, especially Appa. If we did anything tomorrow, most of the day would be spent travelling.

"We can go to the palace and kill whomever is there," suggested Hitomi

"Just the three of us take on a whole palace? I don't think so."

"Fine. We can just go and help whoever is attacking there. Surely the Avatar will have someone there."

"I like that idea," Li pitched her vote

"I suppose it's alright. We'll need to wake up early in order to get there, though." I frowned at the thought

"Again?" moaned Hitomi

"Again," I confirmed.

*******************

(A/N) - -amawriterDOTblogspotDOTcom/2010/04/shila-chp10-kazokuDOThtml


	18. Kamitpok

As it turned out, it wasn't that hard to wake up early. The unfamiliar bed, plus the feeling of urgency and power, was what woke me. I could feel that the moon had set, but the sun hadn't risen, so it was the perfect time for us to leave.

"Li, Hitomi," I whispered as I shook both of them lightly. These walls were thin, and I didn't want to wake anyone else up.

They both woke up rather easily and got ready in silence. We slipped out of the door and I noticed that Hitomi never looked back. Her face was like stone, but she didn't give in. We all knew we might never see any of them again, but facing that reality was like facing a mad bor-q-pine.

"So, what is our plan?" Hitomi's voice was a little higher and tighter than normal, but I ignored it.

"We sneak in, try to find Azula, and then kill her. And anyone else who seems war-bidden," I answered

"Sounds fun to me!" Li grinned

"Yeah, fun," Hitomi sighed, but she still didn't look back.

"C'mon ladies… lets run…" Anything to get us farther from that house.

***************

"So, did you say yes to Fong yet?" Li rubbed her hands together in excitement

"Not yet… but I think I will..." Hitomi smiled secretively

"What is it? Why are you smiling like that?" It was infuriating!

"You guys will be my Issho Ojusan, right?" She let her giant grin rip across her face.

"Of course!" We answered, creepily, in unison

"Hooray!"

******************

"So, what about your family, Li?" I had come to realize that long walks were great for talking.

"I have an older sister, So-fi. She and my parents live on a farm much like Hitomi's, but a bit farther south."

"Ah," well that was revealing. Not.

*******************

"Hitomi… do you feel… powerful?" It seemed like a really dumb question, and I waited hesitantly for the laughter I figured was coming.

Instead I got a strange look, "Yeah! I thought it was just seeing my family again or something… you feel it too?"

I nodded.

"It's the comet!" exclaimed Li

"What?"

"Did you guys pay ANY attention in history class? Well, I guess you're excused Kya. Come ON! The whole reason the comet is such a bad thing is because it makes Firebenders so powerful. And what are you guys? FIREBENDERS!" She rolled her eyes exasperatedly.

"Oh… yeah… haha… forgot I was one," I grinned sheepishly and Hitomi did the same.

"Right…" she shot us another eye roll, "So, is that how you guys are going to do it? Kill everyone with your super-amped-up firebending while I stand back and let my amazing fighting skills go to waste?" the words weren't exactly bitter, more of an innocent question.

Hitomi and I exchanged a look,

"Um," I began, "I hadn't really thought about it… I can't even firebend, so I guess we won't be doing that. Your amazing fighting skills will most definitely be needed."

"Ok, good," She seemed rather relieved, "So basically we don't have a plan at all?"

"Uh… yep, pretty much!" I grinned. This was my normal state. Planless, going to face unknown danger.

"Hitomi, do you have any plans?" Li turned to look at the tall girl, "Hitomi? Earth to Hitomi!"

"I prefer fire," She said randomly, as she focused her attention from the rising sun to Li "More my type of element, if you know what I mean."

Li laughed, "Ok, FIRE to Hitomi! Are you paying any attention to what we're saying?"

"Yes, of course!"

"Well what were we saying then?"

"Um… well… uh…"

"Exactly! We were asking if you had a plan of attack!"

"Oh… no, I don't" Hitomi shrugged, "Go in and kill anyone who stands in our way."

"That's pretty much what my plan was," I stuck in.

"Alrighty then! So, Tomi, what were you thinking about so fervently?"

"Well... I was wondering… Kya why don't you try firebending again? I mean, you're more powerful today, so you'll probably be able to handle it…" she shrugged again, "It's just a thought"

"Yeah, maybe I'll be able to handle it… or maybe the explosion will be five times as big!"

"Kya… you'll never know if you don't try!"

"Fine," I stopped walking and frowned. I sat down on the gravelly road and crossed my legs.

"Just breathe, and envision a flame. DON'T think about water! When you get a roaring flame going in your mind, release it through your hands… straight forward."

I followed her instructions. Angry at her making me do this, when we only had a tiny bit of water left, I breathed heavy and ragged. The flame I was seeing grew rapidly, shrinking and growing with every breath. When it grew to where I could hardly think for the fire in my brain, I shot my fists out in a harsh gesture. I felt heat rip through me, but in a different way than the first time. When I opened my eyes I realized that long jets of flame were shooting from my hands, burning the vegetation in front of me. As soon as I saw them, they were gone, and I was collapsing on the ground, unable to stand.

"Kya! That was fantastic! Are you ok? That shouldn't have taken that much energy!" Hitomi was running up, helping me up, and talking in my ear.

"I'm ok. I just was… shocked. That was wild!" A giggle burst from my lips, one that was quickly followed by more, and soon all three of us were having a giggle fit.

"Wow. That was crazy! You were like super fire woman! Your eyes were closed, and you were all concentrating, and these massive flames were just shooting out!" Li giggled again, "It was weird!"

"See! I knew you could do it!" Hitomi smiled at me encouragingly

"Yeah… right."

"Kya! Come on, that was awesome!"

"It was because I was angry at you. And as soon as I stopped concentrating it was gone!"

"It was your first try! Don't be so hard on yourself!" She patted me on the back, "Come on, let's keep walking!"

I followed her, but I couldn't stop thinking about what I'd done.

Could I do it again?

* * *

"There it is. The harbor city. Looks rather empty, doesn't it?" Hitomi bit her lip

"Yeah… and yet… beautiful, somehow," I replied

"I wish…" Li shook her head

"What?"

"I wish it wasn't so evil. The comet is pretty much the center of all our problems."

"Not the comet," I countered, "Fire Lord Ozai."

"Right…" She sighed

"Well at least it shouldn't be too hard getting in!" Hitomi seemed to be trying to change the subject

"Yeah, there is that," We slipped through the open gate and tiptoed through the main streets.

"Man this place really is a ghost town! Where is everybody?" Li peered into alleys and bystreets

"I'm guessing all the men and women that are capable are off fighting. The rest are probably huddled up in their houses. This is a scary day, no matter how pretty," I answered

"Right. That makes sense." She continued looking in the alleys though.

"Ok, so we're going to –" whatever Hitomi was saying, I didn't hear the end. I was suddenly ripped from the city, and I found myself on an eelhound swimming in the ocean, sitting behind Sokka and Toph. Toph was speaking,

"Too bad the Fire Lord's about to use it to destroy the world."

Sokka said nothing and I couldn't figure out where I was. Was this a dream? Was it a vision? As quickly as I had come, I was gone, back in the capitol. Hitomi and Li were looking at me exasperatedly.

"Did you hear anything she just said?" Li huffed

"Um, no… I was having a vision or something."

"Did it show you how to defeat the Fire Lord and Azula?" Hitomi asked pointedly

"Well, no…"

"Then it wasn't worth missing my plan for! Now I have to say it all over again!"

"Er… sorry"

What had just happened?

* * *

"So we'll just go in through the servant's entrance like usual, and then root around until we find Azula or someone?" I had to make sure for the fiftieth time.

"Yes!" Hitomi rolled her eyes

"Just making sure! It seems so simple!" Here we were again. Easy wasn't bad!

"Right… come on!" Li was running ahead of us, up the volcano to the crater of the Palace City. We were about halfway up when I was struck again. I felt as if something was pulling me, and then I was back with Sokka and Toph. I was at the wheel of a Fire Nation airship, Toph was standing beside me, and Sokka was walking up to a microphone.

"Attention crew," he had put on a deeper voice, and it was hard for me to control my laugh, "This is your captain speaking! Everyone report to the bomb bay immediately for… hot cakes and sweet cream. We have a very special birthday to celebrate!"

He turned back to us and grinned. I found myself steering the ship down to the water, and with another grin he pulled a lever. We heard shouts of alarm, and splashes.

"What did you do?" Toph frowned

"I released them into the ocean!" He laughed, "They won't be attacking anyone else anytime soon!" Suddenly his face grew serious as he looked out at the rest of the airships.

"Fire Lord Ozai, here we come."

Then I was snapped back to the path, with Hitomi and Li. They were looking at me, slightly annoyed.

"What were you doing? Why did you stop?" Hitomi tapped her foot angrily.

"Sorry, I was… another vision." I shook my head to clear it

"Well come on! We don't have all day!" She puffed out air that ruffled her bangs, then turned and walked away.

"Don't mind her, she's just a little stressed!" Li smiled and helped me up kindly

"Thanks," I replied.

We started forward, but we were stopped by Hitomi, running full out toward us, waving her hands crazily in the air.

"Dai Li! Dai Li! Get in the bushes!"

Li and I exchanged a look, and then jumped into the bushes on the side of the road. We were joined by Hitomi a moment later.

"A giant group of Dai Li, coming straight for us!"

We held our breath as the group of men passed. They were murmuring quietly to each other and I could pick up snatches of conversation.

"Banished? Who does she…"

"Where are we supposed to go?"

"Who is this Azula lady anyway?"

"Why are we taking this?"

I frowned. What were they saying? Did Azula banish them? Why on earth would she do that!

We watched them go, still confused. As soon as they were out of sight we jumped out of the bushes and continued back up the mountain.

"What was that all about?" Li frowned

"I have no idea," replied Hitomi, "but come on; we still need to get up there. Let's walk faster!"

Li and I rolled our eyes, but we picked up the pace.

* * *

When we reached the top of the volcano we encountered our first problem: The gates were closed.

"Great, now what?" Hitomi paced in a circle angrily

"We open them…" Li grinned and began walking toward the gate tower.

"Wait for me! Kya, you stay lookout, ok?" Hitomi smiled

"Ok!" I plopped down in the middle of the road, watching for any more surprises like the Dai Li

The other two climbed up the two gate towers and began cranking the gate open.

When they had it all the way open they began to climb down, but they were stopped by shouts and the sound of earth moving.

A second contingent of Dai Li was running through the open gate, straight for me.

"I don't have any water," I screamed

"Kya, the comet! You can do it," Hitomi screamed back

Right, that

"Stay up there. Duck!" I made sure they complied, then I bent the sweat from myself, them, and the Dai-Li. Concentrating, I made a shield of water around me. Then I closed my eyes and saw the flame. In, out, in, out. Taking one deep breath, I saw the waves along with the flame. In my mind, I set the waves on fire. Now they were flaming waves, flowing back and forth. With one more deep breath, I allowed the fiery wetness to control me. It shot out in an explosion that rocked my entire body. I could feel every pore on my body burning, but not in a bad way. It was like laying on a sun-heated rock. Warm, but pleasant. I heard screams from the men, but I kept my eyes clamped shut. I didn't want to see the destruction.

After a few minutes, I could hear Hitomi.

"Kya, they're gone! You can open your eyes!"

Her hand touched my shoulder for a moment, but it was quickly pulled back.

"You're really hot!" she was shaking her hand

"Um, thank you!" I grinned

"Very funny. I meant literally!" She gave me a classic look

"Ah. Well, I feel fine." I rolled my shoulders back, "Great actually!"

"You were amazing! You just, like, shot an explosion out of you… it was so weird! And all the Dai Li were on fire, and they were running down towards the sea! And the fire… it was like lava!" Li was practically jumping up and down

"Lava…" I echoed, "Hey Hitomi what is the equivalent of flaming water?"

She shook her head in confusion, then her eyes lit up and a smile grew.

"You mean…"

"Water plus fire equals lava. I shot lava out. That's… insane! I… lava! Wow!" I laughed elatedly

"So you're a lava bender? But, I thought all firebenders could bend lava!" Hitomi frowned

"Yeah, but they can't create it. They can only control lava that is already there."

"Oh… wow!" Hitomi smiled, "Way to go!"

"Yeah, great job! You're like Toph and metalbending! You're a pioneer!" Li smiled too

"Ok, sorry to break up the awesome-fest, but we need to go! We're burning daylight!" Hitomi scanned the area for any more threats

"Literally," I giggled

"Oh, come on!"

* * *

We ran through the city, towards the Palace in the center. We were almost there when I collapsed again.

I was back in the airship with Sokka and Toph. Sokka was pulling levers and the ship was hurtling towards the line of others.

"It's gonna be a rough ride!" Sokka grabbed Toph's hand and started running towards the door, "We need to get to the top of this thing fast!"

I found myself following him, but I stopped at the doorway and he stopped with me.

"Then what?" I said, though I didn't remember thinking it

He put his hands on my shoulders, "Watch each other's backs, and if we make it that far, I'll let you know." He gave me one quick smile before running off after Toph.

We ran through the shuddering airship and found the ladder. It was quickly scaled, and we came out on top. Surveying the surroundings, I realized that the bottom of our airship was crashing into, and ripping, the tops of all the other airships. It wasn't exactly doing wonders for our airship though… it was shaking and jolting, and all together falling apart. The three of us ran across the top of it, trying to get to I don't know where. I found myself falling behind, much to my dismay. Suddenly the airship gave one giant shudder and the back of it, which I was on, split apart from the ornamental front, which Sokka and Toph were on. I was falling, down, down, down.

"Suki!" Sokka cried. Why did he call me Suki? What did that mean?

"I'm ok! Just finish the mission!" I yelled the words up to them, though I didn't feel like saying anything at the moment. How would I save myself?

Then I was jolted back to the city, with Hitomi and Li frowning once again

"Are you ok? It was another vision, right?" Li sighed

"Yeah. I don't know what is going on. I keep seeing Sokka and Toph."

"Weird. Come on, I think I hear something in the Coronation Plaza. Maybe they're having a rally or something." Hitomi frowned and led the way.

When we got there, we could see Azula with the Fire Sages. She was kneeling, and one of the Sages was droning on about honor and loyalty. He held a hairpiece shaped like a flame in his hands.

"What's going on?" I whispered

"She's… she's being coroneted…" Hitomi looked utterly shocked

I started forward but Li laid a hand on my shoulder and shook her head

"Follow me," she whispered

She led us around to one of the side buildings, and climbed up the wall, then the roof.

"Come on, it's easy." She helped me and Hitomi up, and we realized we had a rather good vantage point here. Now we could actually hear what the Fire Sage was saying.

He held the hairpiece up above his head and shouted, "By decree of Phoenix King Ozai, I now declare you Fire Lord –" He stopped and looked past her, to the sky

"What are you waiting for?" Azula turned around to look at him, "Do it!"

A sudden grunt turned her head back around, and she saw what he saw.

Appa flew over the side of the plaza and landed with a loud thump right in front of her. Zuko stood up on his head and shouted out

"Sorry, but you're not going to become Fire Lord today." He jumped of the Sky Bison's head onto the ground, "I am."

Azula laughed, "You're hilarious."

Katara was suddenly there beside Zuko, "And you're going down!"

The Fire Sage reached to put the headpiece on, but Azula held her hand up,

"Wait," she stood up, "You want to be Fire Lord? Fine. Let's settle this." Her face and voice got more and more maniacal, "Just you and me, brother. The showdown that was always meant to be. Agni Kai!"

Zuko's frown deepened, "You're on."

As we watched, Katara turned to him and they had an urgent conversation, too quiet for us to hear. While they were talking the Fire Sages disappeared back into the temple, and Azula inspected her nails. When they finished she smiled evilly, and the two firebenders took their places.

She stood up to face him and slipped her ceremonial cloak off.

"I'm sorry it has to end this way, brother."

He made no move, simply said, "No, you're not."

And the fight began.

It was gorgeous. Blue and red meeting and clashing. Fire versus fire. Evil versus good. We had to duck a few times, but we still had a fairly good view.

Azula's attacks were fast, but general, and Zuko managed to defend them precisely. After one spectacularly failed attempt he grinned slightly

"No lightning today? What's a matter? Afraid I'll redirect it?" He made a quick motion as if he was going to attack, but no fire came. He merely stood there, ready to defend.

_Don't bait her_, I thought, _she's insane, she'll do something crazy!_

"I'll show you lightning!" She declared, and shafts of it started coming from her fingertips

_See?_, I thought, t_old you._

Zuko breathed in deep, and assumed his redirecting stance. The whole plaza flashed blue.

Her lightning scythed through the air around her. I saw her eyes flick to Katara, standing in the background, and knew what she was going to do as she did it.

My scream blended with Zuko's, as he jumped in front of the lightning bolt that was headed for Katara.

"NO!" I jumped out from my prostrate position and scrambled down the other side of the roof, towards Azula.

Zuko landed in the dirt, body flickering with lightning. Katara screamed,

"Zuko," And started for him, but Azula kept shooting lightning at her and she had to dodge it. It was official that Azula had gone off the deep end. She was swaying like someone who'd had too much pijiu, and cackling to boot.

Katara bent a handful of water and started towards Zuko again, but she was stopped by another blast from Azula. Katara was forced to zigzag around the plaza to avoid Azula's lightning and fire.

Azula jumped easily onto the roof started twirling her lightning, "I'd really rather our family physician look after little Zuzu, if you don't mind!" She shot the lightning at Katara, and all I saw was a giant explosion of water.

I felt frozen. I didn't want to go help Zuko, for fear of catching Azula's attention, but I couldn't just let him lay there in pain. I could go help Katara, because I feared for her life too. Yet here I stood, just watching the chaos, heart hammering and feet locked.

Hitomi and Li had stayed on the roof, and their eyes were larger than Momo's

Suddenly Katara was there behind a column, staring at me in disbelief. She opened her mouth and then shut it again. Behind us, Azula's grating voice was patronizing Zuko,

"Zuzu, you don't look so good!"

"Help him," Katara whispered, "I'll take care of Azula."

I nodded, and found that my legs finally worked. I attempted to ignore the lightning and fire that was shot at Katara, the fight that was quickly escalating. Instead I grabbed water from the troughs and ran to Zuko.

"Hey there Sparky. How're you doing?" I tried and failed to grin

"Kya?"

"The one and only!" My grin was a bit better this time. I rolled him onto his back, jumping when the lightning coursed through him.

"Tell… Katara… I love…" He winced as he was electrocuted again

"She knows! She's known for a while." I put my hands to his chest and tried to heal the gashes across it, but I couldn't do much

"No. Macahty…" another bolt came, "It was Macahty"

"What?" I stopped all pretenses of healing. Macahty should be long gone.

"Machaty was confusing us. Making us love so when he left we'd be in chaos." It was a lot to say at once and when he finished he closed his eyes and appeared to pass out. I grit my teeth in frustration and confusion and got back to the task at hand. Healing.

I managed to patch up all the little cuts that the tail of the lightning had done, but I couldn't heal the big ones, and the lightning was still coursing through him.

Suddenly a thought struck me like an arrow.

"Hitomi! I need you, tuwawi!" I screamed as loud as I could, and was rewarded by her scrambling off the roof towards me

"What is it?" She was a little breathless

"We're going to try to pull the lightning out of him."

"But… neither of us can bend lightning!" Her face was a mask of pure shock

"I know, that's why there are two of us. It's the only option." I put my hand on his forehead and leant in.

"Zuko, we're going to take the lightning out of you, ok? Try to stay still." I didn't know if he'd heard me, but I left a damp imprint on his forehead hoping it would help him feel better.

"Ok, I'm ready." Hitomi took a deep breath and muttered something else before looking directly in my eyes, "Let's do this."

I nodded and put my hands on Zuko's chest again. She copied my movements exactly.

"Ok, I'm going to use a waterbending move. The one I usually use to draw water up out of its source. Just copy me, ok? Once we get the lightning out, don't try to do anything fancy. Just shoot it straight that way," I pointed over Zuko's feet and she nodded back

I drew my hands up and into fists. We did this again and again, and eventually I saw a slight blue glow in his chest under our fingers.

"Picture the lightning coming to your fingertips," I said quietly so as not to disturb her concentration.

We kept doing the move, and the lightning got closer and closer,

"It's working!" Hitomi grinned excitedly

"Shh!" I focused on the lightning. I called to it, I screamed its name. I saw it coming to me again and again.

Then it really did. The first spark touched my fingers and it was all I could do not to jump back. It didn't hurt exactly… it was just surprising. It felt like a tiny sting, a slight annoyance.

"Keep going, almost there!" I smiled quickly at Hitomi and she smiled back

Then suddenly, we had a giant ball of lightning between us. Hitomi let loose a wild laugh, prompting one from me.

I checked to make sure none of it was still in Zuko, and then yelled, "OK, now shoot on three. One, two, SHOOT" We pushed our arms out, palms flat, in exact synchronization. The lightning flew off our finger tips and into an unfortunate wall.

"We did it! We really did it!" Hitomi gave an exhilarated scream and I laughed.

I turned to see Katara running towards us. Azula was chained to the sewer grate, thrashing and screaming but secure.

Katara completely ignored us and went to Zuko. She grabbed water and put her hands over his chest, saying nothing as it splashed away useless. She tried again, and this time I joined forces with her. The water began glowing and in a few minutes it had evaporated.

Zuko opened his eyes and smiled,

"Thank you Katara"

I opened my mouth to say something, but closed it when I saw her face. Tears rolled down her cheeks, and she smiled,

"I think I'm the one who should be thanking you"

She helped him stand up and look at Azula. Only after he sighed at her decline did they turn their attention to me.

"Oh Kya! Thank you. You and…" He trailed off as he realized he didn't know who Hitomi was.

"My name is Hitomi, my Lord" she bowed her head ever-so-slightly

He seemed rather taken aback at the title, but he nodded, "You and Hitomi saved me from the lightning. I don't know what I can do to thank you."

"You could make me rich and famous," said Hitomi, half sarcastically

"Done," He declared.

"Oh, my Lord, I didn't mean it. It was a joke, you don't have to –" He held up a hand to stop her

"Please, it's just Zuko. Anyway, when this is all cleaned up, bring your family to meet me. If your father has a good head on his shoulders I'm sure he can be made into a nobleman."

Hitomi bowed her head again.

Now Li was running towards us.

"That was amazing! You guys! I can't believe you did that! Wow! And you too Katara! That fight against Azula… wow! You kicked her butt! I just wish I could have helped you. I'd make mincemeat out of Azula." Li rubbed her hands together as if imagining it.

"Nice to see you again too, Li," Katara smiled and gave the young martial-artist a quick hug

"So, where are the others?" I frowned.

"Well Aang was still –" Her words faded as I felt myself slipping again

I was walking off an airship, onto a rocky pillar. I was helping Toph support Sokka, who was hopping on one leg. In front of us, on the pillar, were Aang and Ozai. Aang was standing there looking triumphant, and Ozai was slumped on a rock.

"You did it!" Sokka hopped forward and Toph and I let go, "You should have seen yourself! It was amazing! You were all like –"

I sorta stopped listening and instead went over to Ozai. His hair covered his face, and I couldn't tell if his chest was moving.

"So did you…" I hesitated, "you know… finish the job?"

The Fire Lord turned and looked at me angrily, "I'm still alive…"

I pulled back and pressed my lips together in embarrassment.

"I learned there was another way to defeat him and restore balance" Aang was rather solemn, "I took his bending away"

Sokka and Toph's jaws dropped

"Wow!" Even Toph's blind eyes were wide, "Who taught you that?"

Aang shrugged, "A giant lion turtle!"

Toph crossed her arms and shook her head, "You have the craziest adventures when you disappear!"

I smiled as Sokka hopped over and put his arm around my shoulders,

"Well, look at you buster!" He grinned at the Fire Lord, "Now that your firebending's gone, I guess we should call you… The Loser Lord!"

We giggled and Ozai's eyes turned into slits

"I am the Phoenix King!" He pulled himself up on the rock, and Sokka's arm tightened around me.

"Oh sorry! Didn't mean to offend you, Phoenix King of getting his butt whooped!" Toph crunched her fist into her hand.

"Yeah! Or how about King of… the guys who… don't win?" It was weak, I know.

"Leave the nicknames to us, honey," Toph said, not too meanly

Sokka hopped over toward her and the two of them disappeared into the airship.

"You wanna help me with Ozai? I don't think he can walk." Aang started towards him, but the Fire Lord stood up

"You are a fool, child. You can take away my bending all you want. It is not all I am trained in," He grinned wickedly, and then suddenly he was lunging toward me.

I tried to shoot flame at him, but nothing happened. What was wrong with me? Suddenly he was in front of me, and something excruciating was happening in the area of my heart. I looked down to see that something golden was protruding from my body. In my half-conscious state, I realized that it was a fire ornament from his belt. He had ripped it off and plunged it into my chest.

"No!" Aang screamed and went for him, but Ozai knocked him down with one sweep of the arm. Suddenly Sokka was there, limping on his broken leg. My vision flashed on and off, and the pain was so great that I practically couldn't feel it. What I managed to see was Toph, trapping the Fire Lord between two slabs of rock, and Sokka, taking his arm-guard and slicing Ozai's head off.

"I didn't know those were that sharp!" For some reason I giggled

"Suki!" Sokka ran towards me, but he seemed to be moving in slow motion

"Why do you keep calling me that?" I yawned, "Man, am I tired. Why do I have to keep standing up?"

"Suki, keep standing up, we're coming!"

"Hold on to the rock next to you!"

I complied, again in slow motion.

"Sokka, why are you so far away?" My voice was quieter than I wanted it to be. Suddenly it was hard to talk, "What is happening?"

"Suki, hold on ok! Don't let go! Don't die!"

"Die? And why do you keep calling me Suki!"

"It's your name," said Toph blatantly

Suki? No it wasn't! I looked down, trying to ignore the flame ornament and blood (of which there was a lot) and saw my body. But it wasn't my body. I was dressed in Suki's clothes! Why was I dressed in Suki's clothes? Suddenly I caught sight of myself in the flame. I had Suki's face. Her blue eyes and short brown hair.

"Why am I Suki?"

They probably thought it was some philosophical question

"That was who you were born as. That is who we love. Hold on Suki!"

"Why are you going so slowly?" This came out as a whisper, when I intended it as yell. I saw black, and then back to their scared faces.

"I'm going to go to sleep, ok?"

"Suki, don't let go!"

"Goodnight Sokka, Goodnight Toph."

Then I was watching it. I was like a butterfly on the wind, watching the scene below. I saw Toph and Sokka running across the top of the plateau, going fast. I saw Suki, holding on to the rock. I saw that she was on the very edge of the plateau.

"No, Suki, please don't let go!" I thought the words, but no sound came

I saw her release her grip.

I saw her fall. I heard Sokka's scream, Toph's attempts by bending at a rescue. I saw them fail.

Then I was falling too. Falling, falling, falling, like before when the airship broke, except this time I didn't see or hear anything.

"Tartok… niptaitok… illulikangitok… inotowok… auksarpok… ingiarsiwok…" the words flew through my head and out of my mouth in a whisper

Then I was back in my body. I saw one glimpse of my friends' shocked faces, and had time to say 'Suki is dead… ikkuma manigutiwok… ikkiertok' before collapsing in an unconscious heap.

* * *

A/N - i-amawriterDOTblogspotDOTcom/2010/04/shila-chp11-kamitpokDOThtml


	19. Omayok

**************************CHAPTER 18********************

"You're alive! She's alive! Sokka! Katara! Hitomi! She's really alive! And awake! You're awake!"

"Li?"

"Kya! I can't believe it! We all thought you were going to die! But here you are, awake!"

"Li… can you calm down please? I can't understand anything you're saying…"

"Oh, sorry! Of course! You must still be tired!"

She was interrupted by Katara and Hitomi rushing in.

"Kya! How are you feeling? Are you ok?" Katara came over and felt my forehead for fever

"Wow Kya, you scared us half to shi! Remember, I'm supposed to be the clumsy one!" Hitomi smiled and gave me a hug.

"What happened? I don't understand!" I frowned, an effort that made my head hurt.

"Why don't you go back to sleep? I know you'll wake up this time, and when you do you'll be stronger. We can explain it all then." Katara smiled comfortingly

"Ok," I replied meekly

"Well, nice of you to finally wake up… again." Hitomi put down the scroll she'd been reading, "How do you feel?"

"Better," I croaked, "Can I see everyone else now?"

She nodded, "We have a whole posse waiting for you to wake up! I'll go get them," She rushed out the door

I tried to remember what had happened before I woke up. I remembered flashes of blue and red… OH yes! Zuko and Azula's agni kai! And Hitomi and I had saved Zuko! Right! And, I had those visions… and in the last vision… what had happened? I honestly couldn't remember.

"Kya!" Toph ran and jumped onto my bed, giving me a giant hug

"Toph! I'm glad you're ok!"

"Me? I'm fine! It's you we're worried about!"

"Buniq, I'm so happy you're awake!" My mother came in and stroked my hair back

"Mom! Um… sorry for uh… ditching you"

She shook her head, and I wasn't sure if it meant that we were good, or we just weren't going to talk about it now

"Kya, thanks for, uh, saving me." Zuko rubbed his head in embarrassment

"No prob! Hitomi helped too!" I smiled at him, and he gave a grateful nod to Hitomi.

"So, what exactly happened?" I frowned at the small crowd.

Katara bit her lip, "Zuko can tell it. He's a good storyteller."

"I am? I mean, uh, thanks." Zuko rubbed the back of his neck uneasily.

"Uh, yeah… you are." Katara, in turn, blushed.

I was flabbergasted. These were the people who had just been practically snuggling three days ago.

"Start from the moment I left," I frowned

"Ok… well, here goes." Zuko took a deep breath, "That night, Aang disappeared. So the next morning we split up into teams and looked for him, but he was nowhere. So we went to Jun. –"

"That cool bounty hunter chick with the Shirshu that everyone keeps telling me about?"

He nodded, "Yup. Anyway, she said Aang no longer existed. So Uncle Iroh suggested we go to Ba Sing Se, to meet with some friends of his. These friends turned out to be a secret society, The Order of the White Lotus, which includes the likes of Jeong Jeong, Pakku, Piando, King Bumi; all those fancy old guys! We stayed the night with them, and learned that they were planning on retaking Ba Sing Se. Well we had a little discussion, and decided to split up. Katara and I went to face Azula, Sokka, Toph, and… uh, Suki went to stop Ozai, and Iroh stayed to help his buddies. And that's where you found us. I won't bore you with the hour of travel," He winked

"What happened to Suki?" I don't know why I bothered asking. I suppose I just wanted it clarified. They all exchanged sad looks, but it was Toph who spoke roughly,

"She died. The Fire Lord attacked her and she fell. In consequence, Sokka killed the Fire Lord."

I closed my eyes, astonished to feel tears. I had hardly known Suki! Why was I crying?

"What happened to me?" I was honestly just trying to change the subject, but Toph frowned,

"We're not sure. It seems that at the same instant Suki died, you passed out. We don't know why."

"I was linked to her."

This garnered puzzled looks all around

"I kept seeing things through her. I thought they were visions, but… I bet it was Macahty's doing. That ningarsareitok tireganierk! I was linked when she died, I think that's why I passed out. Nothing terribly exciting. So, um, what is going on, between you guys?" I noticed that Aang and Toph were on opposite sides of the room, and Katara and Zuko were acting really odd.

"Wow. Another story?" Katara smiled slightly, a smile that wasn't happy in the least.

"It was Macahty also." This was Aang, who finally spoke up.

"Macahty? How…" I frowned, unable to follow my thoughts.

"Apparently he was manipulating us too. As soon as you had fulfilled your bargain he came to us and told us this. My love for Toph, Zuko and Katara… it was all a sham. Feelings placed in us by him. Now we don't know what is real and what simply a remnant of his manipulations is. It's gotten us rather… oh, I don't know." Aang rubbed his head and shot an annoyed look at Toph, then a rueful smile at me.

I shot a breath of air up to ruffle my bangs,

"That little… oh, you are too young to hear that. He is… oh…" I was flustered, something that left Aang and Toph, to whom I was directing my comments, rather amused.

"You look a bit tired," Katara got up to leave but I grabbed her wrist

"No, I'm not. You haven't told me half of it." She winced, but I finished with, "Where is Iroh?"

"Oh, him…" She laughed shakily

Zuko cut in, "He stayed in Ba Sing Se to help rebuild. He just sent a message yesterday that he was coming back, though, so he should be here in a day or two." He gave an encouraging smile

"Can you believe it?" My mother was looking at Zuko, a small prideful smile on her face, "A nephew? I never dreamed I would have a nephew. At least not a sane one."

I smiled at him too, "Cousins! That's right! Well, I never figured you as being my cousin. Suppose I could get worse…" I grinned to show him I was teasing, "Does that mean if you die I get to be Fire Lord? I'd be watching your back if I were you."

He laughed, "Yes, since you are in such a state to kill me. I am simply terrified."

I couldn't get the smile off my face. My cousins back on Nuuk were completely awesome, but they were all younger than I was. I loved them, but I didn't relate to them the way I could to Zuko. I almost laughed as I remembered my previous hostility toward him. A few months ago, weeks even, I would have killed you if you told me Zuko was my cousin. Now, I was quite glad.

"Sokka…" Katara's gasp pulled me out of my joyous realizations. Standing at the door, casting a shadow on Aang and Li was Sokka himself. He was unshaven, his wolf-tail was messy, and he wasn't smiling.

"Katara," He nodded acknowledgement to her and walked straight to me, saying nothing to anyone else. When he reached my beside he leant down and gave me a kiss, different than any others, "I thought you were dead."

"I'm not." Well, um, duh. Real smooth, Kya.

"I'm glad," His familiar grin flashed, but it was rougher, "I couldn't handle that," He shook his head, "I knew it was you. There was something different about Suki. Something that screamed _you_. I knew it all four times and then the last one… I didn't know if you would die too. That's why I killed him, it was too easy. I couldn't let you die."

I gaped, "Sokka, please don't. I… can we talk about this, before you… before you go overboard?" I bit my lip

He sighed as if he had just been asked to rule all four nations, "Yeah. Sure."

"Ok, well, uh, you look really tired now! We should really clear out…" Katara's eyes were panicky, her smile nervous, "Come on Sokka!"

"Thanks again, cuz!" Zuko grinned and walked out, followed by Aang who waved. My mother gave me another kiss on the forehead and made her exit. Sokka shook his head, squeezed my hand, and practically stalked out. Now it was just us girls left. Li and Hitomi exchanged a glance,

"You guys still have a bit to talk about. We'll go get you some food, ok Kya?" Hitomi smiled graciously

"Thanks Hitomi! Hey, where's Fong?" I frowned. If he had gotten hurt… well, it wouldn't be good

"Oh, he's off doing something useful. He didn't really want to come in… he thought it might be awkward or something."

"Oh, ok! Well, I would like to see him, eventually! I consider him a friend too!"

She nodded, and I could swear I saw the words 'Yes, M'Lady' form on her lips, though there was no sound.

"Hey Hitomi?" She looked back when I called her name; "I am no higher than you, no matter my birth."

She smiled and nodded again, "I know, Ky."

As soon as the door shut behind them, Toph turned to me, tears in her eyes.

"I loved him before the word Macahty was ever uttered. I have always loved him."

"Toph…" Katara sighed, "It's not… He won't…" She shook her head slowly

"He hates me now. I don't know why. He completely hates me." Toph wiped her wet nose on her sleeve

"He doesn't hate you…" I patted her shoulder uselessly, as Katara nodded.

"He is pretty hostile. I don't really understand it. But that doesn't matter, Toph. It was harmless. My little 'romance' jeopardized our team. Thanks to Macahty, Zuko was just openly admitted into our group! He could have had all kinds of motives! I let him in! That… that… oh!" her hands clenched into fists.

"Kat, you didn't really do it all. We allowed him to join us. Didn't have much of a choice… Macahty didn't cause that horrible wound. Plus, you can't still hate Zuko… look at all he has done for us! He saved your life… and that wasn't because of Macahty either." I raised my eyebrows suggestively, but she ignored me.

"If he really cared about me at all, even just as a friend, why did he hurt me so badly? He would have killed me in the Catacombs, Kya. When just minutes before I was offering to heal him! I am such an idiot!" She slammed her fists onto her thighs.

"He's changed Katara. If you honestly can't see that, you need to take a step back, remove yourself. It sorta worked for me." I shrugged, "Honestly, all you both can do is start from the beginning. Refresh. Ignore all of it, all of everything that has happened. Just do it again, as friends, and let it progress from there."

Toph groaned, "But he won't do that! He doesn't… he doesn't love me Kya."

I massaged my head with my fingers. This was going to take a bit more figuring than I had originally thought.

"I think it runs deeper, Toph. Hear me out. Aang always loved Katara. I saw examples of it in hundreds of little things. Then Macahty comes… now Aang is out in many, many ways. First, he doesn't want Kat to think that he was unfaithful, in any way. He doesn't know if she understands that he was under an influence, doesn't know if this will hinder his ability to confess his feelings to her. Second, he doesn't know how much of her relationship with Zuko was Macahty. For all he knows, Macahty could have opened their eyes to something. He has no idea what their status is. So he is on edge. He resents you, because in some way he sees you as the problem. He can't confront Macahty, so he has to take his anger and frustration out on you.

"Meanwhile, Katara, you never truly loved Aang. You were flattered, perhaps. Surely you had noticed his affections; they were rather hard to miss. You might have thought you were in love with him. It happens quite often. A mixture of flattery, pride – if they are smart enough to like you, they must be pretty amazing – and laziness – well, they already like me, so why bother wasting time on someone I am not sure of – adds up to you thinking you love them. Anyway, you thought you loved him, until you met Zuko in the catacombs. Sure, you'd met him plenty of times before, but never 'good' Zuko. Five minutes with the charmer and you're captured. You are smitten, though of course you won't admit it. Then the genius has to go attempt to kill you. Ever heard the saying, 'hell hath no fury like a woman scorned'? Exactly. Your love is gone, replaced by hatred… or so you think. Still, you cry yourself to sleep over what might have been.

"Then this happens. Ruins everything, supposedly. Katara and Zuko prove what an adorable couple they make, Toph and Aang lose their friendship. How is this good? I haven't figured that part out yet."

I opened my eyes and surveyed their rather shocked faces

"That was… uh… interesting." Katara gave me a look that clearly said 'stop hitting the cactus juice.'

"It didn't help me at all! You're saying he'll never love me?" Toph sniffed again, tears reforming.

"Well, uh…" I tried to backpedal

"Yes, Toph. You are twelve. You don't need to worry about finding a soul mate right now. You need to worry about how you are going to help your kingdom rebound from this war. The same goes for me. Relationships should be the least of our worries right now." Katara's voice was cold and firm, but her wet eyes belied her nonchalant manner.

"I… ok." Toph wiped her nose again, and then stood up, "I'm going… somewhere important. I'll… talk to you guys later." She walked out of the room more softly than I had ever heard her walk.

Katara leaned over and hugged me, "Thanks Kya. Sleep now. I'll talk to you later also." She smiled and slipped out, leaving me to my much-needed rest.

I was able to get out of bed the next day and begin preparing my trip back to Nuuk. This prompted quite a lot of arguments, my going back to Nuuk.

Hitomi and Li didn't want to continue living as mere palace servants without my company, so I had them promoted to advisors. I think they liked that. I had to promise to come back in six months for Hitomi's wedding, though.

Toph wanted me to come with her to the Earth Kingdom, where her parents would rule. I wasn't sure how that got arranged, but she was ambassador, so she would be doing most of the negotiating.

Zuko wanted me to become his Fire Lady. Not in _that _way! Goodness! He just wanted a co-ruler who was related to him, so he didn't have to find a bride. I knew he was still completely in love with Katara, so I declined. Hopefully that would force them together.

Aang didn't really ask me for anything. He was almost scarily broody. Stupid kid, he was way too hung up on Katara, it was annoying. Although I did notice him talking to Li. But then she introduced me to her new boyfriend, Cha-Li. Interesting guy. Red hair and nice accent, rather funny too. I was sad for the sake of her and Aang's once possible relationship though.

And then there was Sokka. I ran into him in the hallway, after I had just finished asking Aang if he could take me to Nuuk on Appa. I was hurrying on when I literally ran into him.

"Oh, Sokka! Hello. So, what are you going to ask for?" I smiled grimly

"I'm coming with you."

I stared at him for a full minute, letting it completely sink in.

"You're what?"

"Stop. Calm. Listen to my entire tale of what I am going to do, that has nothing to do with you." He smirked, "I noticed a certain island on the northern side has everything I'm looking for in a home. Earthy summers. Icy winters. A need for men to do work, warriors to defend it. Nice scenery. Kind inhabitants," His smirk only grew, but I frowned deeply

"You have got to be kidding me. Sokka, I just… I want to get away, from everything. You know, Helaku only died six months ago. _Six months_, Sokka. I had loved him since I was born. My first steps were to him, my first word 'laku.'I can't just… forget him, like that. I have to grieve. I haven't been given that luxury yet. Please… don't…" I faltered, looking down on my soft red shoes.

"I don't want to push anything on you, Kya. I… look; I've lost people too. People who I thought… who I did love. I'm not going there expecting us to get married, or even like each other. We can be mortal enemies, for all I care. I just want to be there, be near you. Learn where you come from; meet your friends and your family. I will wait thirty years if I need to. I just… I want to be there." He ran a hand through his already messed up hair and laughed slightly, "Wow… that was pretty deep."

I sighed, annoyed at myself for the tears falling down my nose; "I can't… I…"

He came and hugged me, but it was a hug of friendship. He wasn't asking for anything more. He pulled back after a moment and gave me a sad smile.

"We're a mess aren't we? A complete mess."

"This whole world is a mess," I laughed slightly, "I suppose I'll think about your offer."

He grinned, "When are ya leaving?"

I smiled back at him, "A week."

"See you then, Siarut!" He patted my shoulder and walked away, leaving me staring after him like a complete idiot.

The day was only made better by the arrival of Uncle Iroh. We were all eating dinner in the throne room when he burst through the doors, grinning up a storm.

"Well, if it isn't my favorite group of overachievers! Hello my dears! Got any good tea brewing?"

We all ran to hug him, crowding around him in a complete mass. Finally he let out a hearty chuckle,

"Ok, Ok, I'm being smothered! One at a time, please!"

We walked up to him one at a time, by importance it seemed. I was right before Zuko, who was last in line.

"Uncle Iroh! It's so good to see you… and to call you that… It is so natural to say!" I laughed headily.

"Miss Kya? You may call me that, of course, but why should it be any better than normal?" His smile grew puzzled

"Oh… oh dear. You don't… Zuko, he doesn't know… where is my mother? Aga? Mom, where are you?" I looked around frantically and finally saw her half hiding behind a pillar.

"What if… what if he hates me for running?" her voice was beneath a whisper as I helped her out. She was almost paralyzed with fear.

"Mama… he will love you still, I promise." I smiled at her, and then pushed her forward. She didn't have to say a word. Iroh gave her an absolutely incredulous stare, and then his mouth opened.

"Z… Zia? Is that really you? It can't be… how long? Twenty years? Perhaps more… oh Zia." He opened his arms and she ran into them.

"Oh I missed you so much, Iroh. I knew you… I knew you weren't like Father or Grandfather, or Ozai. You were so much better. I wish… oh I wish so very many things. I am so sorry for running away. I am sorry for leaving you with those tyrants. I am sorry I never got to meet your wife, or your son. I wish so much I could have just met them once. Just once. I am sorry I wasn't there to help you when they died. I am sorry… I am sorry." She broke into sobbing

Iroh held her, rocking her ever-so-slightly

"No, I'm sorry. I could have stopped you… I could have helped you. I had influence, I was the heir. I could have stopped father, done something. Instead I didn't even realize your distress until it was too late. I couldn't even help you run. The only thing that has helped me get over that guilt is helping someone with a similar dilemma later. Zuko's mother... she had to run too, and I was able to help her get away. I… well, she meant something."

I could see that Zuko was on the balls of his feet, practically bouncing. It was obvious he wanted to go jump on his uncle and get the information about his mom. I laid a gentle hand on his shoulder and shook my head almost imperceptibly.

"Prince Zuko…" Even my hand wasn't enough to keep Zuko from leaping at the sound of his name.

"Yes Uncle?"

"There is someone waiting for you outside. And I don't think she can wait much longer. She hasn't seen her son in a very long time, and she's practically crazy with worry." The old man smiled slightly as Zuko dashed forward towards the doors.

"Aunt Ursa is out there?" I stared wonderingly at him as he nodded, but I didn't dash off like Zuko. I'd let them have their moment.

Most interesting day, for sure.

I had thought that yesterday was bad. The arguments. The negotiating. But that was nothing compared to what I got when I asked my mother if she was coming with me. She looked at me blankly and shook her head.

"You're not? How… why?" I was incredulous, it was rather disgusting actually.

"Kya, I want to stay here and help Zuko and Iroh."

"But what about Liluye? What about Nuuk? What about me?"

"I will miss you all, for sure, but Kya…" She sighed, "Finally, my family has become something I can be proud of, people I actually want to be with!"

"Excuse me? Liluye and I are your family too! You don't want to be with us? You aren't proud of us? How could you, mother? How could you, you… maiksuk!" I brushed tears angrily from my face.

"No, Kya! I didn't mean… Kya, please! Buniq, don't go!" It was too late. I stalked away to my room, where I sat, staring out the window at the bustling city. Everyone was getting ready for Zuko's coronation, but I'd be gone before then.

"Kya?" it was Li, standing at the door uncertainly.

"What is it?" I may have sounded a little harsh, but I didn't care

"Are you ok?" She came and sat down next to me

"No. My mom said she's not coming back with me. That she likes Zuko and Iroh more."

Li sighed, "I'm sure she doesn't like them more."

"She practically said it," I said stubbornly

"You know what helps me when I feel bad?" She pulled a cactus out from behind her back, "Naming things. Works every time. Here, take this and give it a name." She smiled and offered me the cactus, which I took.

"I don't think this will help…" I surveyed the cactus dubiously

"Sure it will! Go on… try it!"

I frowned, but complied; "Um… can I name it… Sabao?"

Li laughed, "Original! You can name it that, if you wish!"

"Thanks Li. This actually does make me feel better, crazy as that may seem." I smiled sadly, "I'm really going to miss you and Hitomi. Our friendship was just starting!"

Li brushed a stray tear from her cheek, "Now we're back to the sad! Come on, let's go get something to eat and not think about sad things anymore!"

"Okeedokee, sounds great to me!" I smiled and let her help me up.

We skipped down the hall toward the kitchen, each thinking of the hardships and good-byes we were about to face, yet both smiling deceivingly.

"'Bye Kya! Thanks so much for forcing me to sit next to Hitomi. And hitting me… I, uh, needed it." Fong smiled and gave me a hug

"Anytime, Fong. You really did need a good smack, didn't you?" I grinned evilly and he laughed as he stepped back.

"I'll see you in six months! And you better keep up… don't stop writing me. Sokka has generously allowed us to use hawky to exchange letters, so keep on it. I'm going to be discussing your dress, and I'll need your sizes. And you absolutely _must _call me if you get married, because I have to be there!"

"Hitomi, I'm not going to get married! At least, not anytime soon! My goodness! And I'll stay on top of the letters, don't worry!" I smiled sadly at her and shook my head.

"Hey, you never know! Just in case, promise you'll send for me?"

I sighed, "Sure, whatever. I'll call for you."

"Thanks!" She grabbed me in a tight hug, which I returned.

"I'll miss you, Tomi."

"I'll miss you too, Ky. Don't do anything stupid, ok?"

"Deal." I moved on, tears already in my eyes.

"Kya! Have fun with Sabao!" Li grinned and wrapped me up

"Ok, will do. Thanks Li! See you in six months!" I returned her tight hug.

"Can't wait!" She smiled and drew back

"So, cousin. We have to part again! Too bad!" Zuko sounded so genuine, the tears started falling.

"I can't believe it! Two weeks ago we would have killed each other, and now… now we are cousins! I will miss you very much, Zuko!" I hugged him close and whispered in his ear, "Don't give up on Katara."

He blushed, "Um, ok."

"What did you say to him?" Katara glanced back suspiciously

"Oh, nothing of importance." I grinned, "So, you're staying here as ambassador?"

She nodded, "I know enough of the Earth and Fire Nation customs to make a perfect ambassador, so I was asked. Sokka was asked first, but he declined." She sighed, "I'm really gonna miss him."

"And me?" I grinned, to show her I understood

"Nah, I'll be fine without you!" She grinned back and gave me a giant hug, "Oh Kya, I'm gonna miss you so much! Thanks for being so kind to me… I know I must seem like such a little girl to you!"

"No way, Katara! You don't seem like a little girl to anyone, even ancient King Bumi! I'm going to miss you too, Ahnah! You have grown so much in the time I have known you… it makes me scared to go see my sister Liluye! She will probably be so different…" I shook my head to clear my thoughts, "Anyway, I'll see you in six months!"

"I'll be counting down the days!" she patted me on the shoulder, a gesture I found slightly amusing.

"I am so sorry, dear Buniq," My mother stepped up, "I will miss you with every breath that I take, as well as your sister. Please, tell her it is not because of her. Tell her I wish I could stay here and see her also…"

"You could come with us, and then fly back with Aang." I bit my lip, hoping against hope –

"No. Aang is stopping at a number of places in the earth kingdom on the way home. He's even going to Ba Sing Se. He could take months. I don't have that time. I am so very, very sorry." She sighed heavily

"It's ok. I'll bring Liluye with me when I come down for Hitomi's wedding. That's only six months!" I smiled encouragingly through my tears.

"You are such an amazing young woman. I love you, Kya. Don't ever forget that. And I am so extremely, incredibly proud of you." She held me for a while, both of us sobbing. Then she stepped back, surveyed me, and nodded, "See you in six months, my dear!"

"Goodbye Aga. I love you too!"

"Kya!" Toph gave me one of her characteristic barreling hugs.

"Toph!" I hugged her back, just as attacking

"Don't forget me, Kya!"

"I could never forget you! I'll send you letters! Hawky will come twice a month, carrying letters for everyone here!"

"I can't wait!" Toph smiled and love punched me

"Ouch, kiddo. Ouch." I ruffled her hair and she shook her head, sighing in disgust,

"You never learn."

We laughed together, a laugh that turned into silent tears.

"Kya, Sokka, come on! We need to go!" Aang was on top of Appa's head, patting him soothingly.

"Coming!" Sokka beat me there, and helped me up. Once up, I said a quick thanks and then turned back to the crowd on the ground.

"Goodbye! 'Bye! See you! Love you guys!" Sokka and I waved until they had disappeared from sight.

I couldn't wait to get to Nuuk and see my home, my people, my family.

Despite Sokka's presence.

(A/N) - i-amawriterDOTblogspotDOTcom/2010/05/shila-chp18-omayokDOThtml


	20. Uitayok

"Time is a brisk wind, for each hour it brings something new... but who can understand and measure its sharp breath, its mystery and its design? ~Paracelsus"

* * *

"_Dear Toph,_

_I miss his snoring. When we slept in camp, his sleeping bag was next to mine, and I got used to him snoring every night. It became like a lullaby. And then, sometimes, he'd have nightmares, and he'd wake up. Then I would wake up because the snoring would stop. And I'd go over and ask him about it, and we'd talk until he didn't remember it anymore, and then we'd go back to sleep. _

_Those were the good old days, eh? _

_Now I can't get to sleep, because he isn't here snoring. It was the same in the palace._

_I suppose it doesn't matter anyway. I cry myself to sleep every night, or stay up thinking about all I have lost._

_You can't tell anyone this, you know. I will kill you. _

_I miss you too, Uyarak! How is your life? How is everyone else? I am writing some of them also, but you are the most prompt. Who transcribes your letters? Just curious._

_Love,_

_Kya"

* * *

_

We received wonderful welcome on Nuuk. Everyone was happy to see I had brought a strong young man, though the town gossips were disappointed that we weren't together.

Liluye was absolutely crushed that I didn't have Mom with me. She was extremely angry for a few minutes, then cried in my arms for an hour. She's still frailer than I'd like. I blame my mother, though I still love her of course.

Sokka built Lil and me a house on the hill where our house used to be. He built himself a little cabin a few steps away. He eats with us, and pretty much takes care of our needs like firewood and meat. I still don't speak to him much though. Liluye likes him, she thinks he's handsome. She berated me daily for not marrying him, until I told her to stuff it, and explained the situation. She was silent thereafter.

Speaking of Lil, she has many suitors. Seems that while I was gone quite a group of boys went ice dodging, therefore becoming men. From what I hear, Kyqqa and Aunt Lanik took them, which would have been an awesome sight to see. Now a fair amount of these men are courting Liluye, who won't even be of marrying age for two and a half years. I find it rather amusing and love teasing her about it, as does Sokka. He has taken quite the liking to her… I believe she reminds him of Katara, just as Kat reminded me of Liluye.

I help in the rebuilding projects around town, as well as keeping my own home. It sometimes seems mundane and tedious compared to traveling the world, but it must be done. It is nice to have a routine. Liluye and I are also working on decorating our house, making it more a home. So far we painted my room red and blue; something that made me laugh, and her room blue and green, which interested me. She said she just likes the color green.

I am grieving. I wear black beads in my loopies, which I have resumed wearing, and black gloves. I cry a lot, sometimes randomly, when I see a place or a thing that reminds me of my father or Helaku. It isn't the best life, but I make do.

Liluye is my salvation. She is always smiling, and even when she is grumpy she is amusing to watch. She is always trying to build me up, down though she may be. I could not ask for a better sister.

And I miss Sokka. Though I would never admit it.

* * *

"_Dear Toph,_

_Hitomi? Hitomi is reading my letters! Hitomi, if you tell anyone… I swear…_

_Anyway. Not much has changed. I think Lil has found the suitor she wants to court back. His name is Kona, he's rather handsome and very nice. I like him, at least, and Sokka does too, which seems to count for more than it should. They have become inseparable, Sokka and Liluye. He always takes her side, or vise versa. Quite annoying, actually. _

_We are working on building a library… quite a feat for an island as small as ours, I think. Everyone is going to put their scrolls in. Also, a small band of women went to the North Pole to ask if any male waterbenders wanted to come back to live in Nuuk. They were the prettiest ones, so I am sure we will get a few recruits. Haha. _

_I am doing better, as is Lil. We don't cry as much, at as little things. We smile more, laugh more. Please don't worry on our account. _

_I'm sorry Aang's not coming around. Perhaps you should give up? I know, I know. How are Katara and Zuko?_

_I still miss you! Only four more months!_

_Love,_

_Kya"

* * *

_

"Kyana, I'm going with Sokka to help with the library! We'll be back in time for dinner!"

"Wait, don't just yell and leave! And what is your obsession with nicknames?"

"I just like them. Regular names are so overused and _boring_!" Liluye grinned as I walked up

I absentmindedly fixed the bead on her hair loopy, "Don't do anything too dangerous, like lift anything really heavy or something. Don't run off with Kona. Don't go anywhere without telling Sokka first. And _please_ do be back for dinner! I'm doing sea prunes, your favorite!"

She squirmed out from under my hands, "Ok! I'll be careful, and be back! Love you!"

"Love you too! Take care of her," I directed this at Sokka, who had just come to the door. He nodded and they took off.

Now, to make sea prunes…

They came home right in time to wash up and eat. Lil loved it, of course, and Sokka seemed satisfied. After dinner Sokka motioned for me to go to the main room,

"I'll clean this up. Lil will help me, right?" He turned to her pointedly

"Sure!" She jumped up and grabbed hers and my plate, heading toward the sink to wash them.

"Oh… thanks." I was slightly flabbergasted at their quickness, but I wasn't going to fight it. I went to the main room and settled down with my sketchbook. I loved drawing, though I didn't get to do it much. I wasn't terribly good at it, but I wasn't completely awful, and I enjoyed doing it. Currently I was working on a sketch of a wildflower I had seen outside the other day.

After a few minutes Sokka and Liluye came to join me. Sokka had some kind of woodcarving he was working on, though I couldn't yet tell what it was, and Lil was reading.

"What should we get Hitomi and Fong for their wedding?" I voiced the question to no one in particular, and they both shrugged, "Sokka? Any ideas?"

He shook his head and I exploded.

"Don't you ever talk? There was a time we couldn't get you to shut up! What is wrong with you?"

He frowned, "Fine, I like your drawing."

"What? Well, thanks, but that's not what I wanted! I want you to not be scared of talking! I don't want you to change on my account. I loved the old Sokka! I could never love this new one!"

He regarded me with an interesting look and Liluye watched the exchange with wide eyes. Finally, after what seemed like forever, he spoke again.

"Very well, if that's what you want. I can make something for them… some invention. What do people need?"

"Something to make the bed?" Liluye shrugged, and I laughed slightly as he winced

"Hmm, that might be a little too advanced. Anything else?"

"How about a pool? Could you engineer a Hot Springs in their backyard?"

He stroked the beard he'd been growing out,

"Perhaps. Just perhaps. Of course, we'd have to enlist Toph. Can you write her?"

I shook my head, "Hitomi writes and reads her letters."

"Darn. Hey, can I have a piece of that paper?" I handed it to him, "Thanks. Now this is what I am thinking…" He proceeded to sketch the blueprints for the hot spring.

This was more like it.

* * *

"_Dear Toph_

_Sokka and I came up with a wonderful wedding present for Hitomi. Of course, I can't tell you about it, because of the unfortunate screener we have, but you can have in if you want. Just say yes or no._

_Really? You honestly think K and Z are going out? How could you not know? You should ask them outright, and then you can tell if they are lying. I think that is wonderful though. _

_Who is this 'Teo?' I don't remember ever meeting him… he sounds nice though. Glad you have a new friend. How old is he? Hmm. _

_Sometimes, I miss Suki. Is that weird? Sometimes I'll think of her randomly, and think of what a great friendship we could have had, and then I miss her. It seems odd to me. _

_This month we're working on the school. They've asked me to be a teacher, but I don't think I have the patience. What do you think? Oh, and the girls still haven't come back from the North Pole. We expect them any day though._

_Getting better every day._

_Only three more months!_

_Love,_

_Kya"

* * *

_

"_Dear Toph,_

_Nope, sorry. I won't give you any hints whatsoever. Hitomi would see right through them. SORRY! _

_I can't wait to try on the Issho Ojusan dress! From the drawing Hitomi sent it will be fabulous. I'm glad you and she have become friends. I would never have figured on it, your personalities being so different, but it is a good thing. _

_Sokka and I might come a month early. We're debating. If so, that means only ONE MORE MONTH! Oh my word!_

_I miss your love punches, crazy as that may seem! _

_I didn't take the teaching position either. It just wasn't right. I might be the librarian though. _

_The girls got back a few days after I sent the last letter, bringing ten men with them, of varying ages. Can you believe it? Ten men! That's wonderful!_

_One of them, Sennuk, is paying a bit of attention to me. I'm flattered, but I don't think I will return it. I'm not really sure why._

_Still getting better. Every breath is a bit easier._

_Two [OR ONE] more month._

_Love,_

_Kya"_

"_Dear Toph,_

_No, that is not why. Most assuredly not._

_-Kya"

* * *

_

"KYA!" I wasn't surprised that Toph was the first one to greet me. I was surprised, however, by the force of her hug. I was knocked over! The only hug that rivaled it was the one my mother gave Liluye. Complete and utter joy.

I was shocked at how much everyone had grown. They assured me that I had too, that I looked completely different and totally the same.

I absolutely loved the Issho Ojusan dress. It was one of my favorite dresses ever. I was more than proud to wear it. They looked so happy, I was so happy to be able to share the day with them.

I hung out with Li and Cha-Li at the reception. Cha-Li kept us laughing the whole time, telling jokes. Aang was telling us a story about Kuruk, one of his previous incarnations, and Cha-Li asked, with very believable mock sincerity, 'Who's She?'

He also told us, "When a child is born they have a rooster-roach in their head that feeds off the energy created by making a poo poo joke, but they usually lose it at age thirteen. Toph hasn't yet lost hers, nor do I believe she ever will."

I was quite glad he was there making me laugh, so I wasn't crying (albeit tears of joy) over Hitomi and Fong.

It seemed that the wedding went by in flashes. I remembered parts of it afterward, but not the whole.

I remembered speaking about my friendship with Hitomi. But I didn't remember what I said. I just remembered that it was nice and eloquent.

I remembered the cake… it was very good!

I remembered dancing with Sokka. It was an ethereal feeling… like walking on air. He led me around the floor, and we spun, and it was incredible. I didn't want it to end. Then all of a sudden it was over, and I remembered who I was and who he was, and I was glad. Still, somewhere deep inside, I wanted to do it again.

Of course Toph teased me the whole night. It was awful. At least I got to meet her 'friend' Teo. A nice kid in a wheelchair, about her age, really sweet and kind. And he totally had a thing for her, though I think she was denying it. Whatever.

Katara and Liluye were instant friends, as I knew they would be. They were rather inseparable, and I knew that the only way I was getting Lil back home was Sokka. The guy had scary influence on her. I knew he was filling the father void left in her heart, but I wasn't going to protest. So long as he didn't leave her all would be well.

All too soon we had to leave. More tearful good-byes were exchanged, more promises to write, more heavy sighs.

And then somehow, six more months passed. The time seemed to go quicker and quicker, it was strange.

Within those six months were my birthday, which passed nicely, Sokka's birthday, which passed quietly, and Lil's birthday, which passed with much fanfare. I knew Kona was just counting the days until her sixteenth. He had become rather a staple in our life, he was s fine young man.

Now it was summer again. The days hot, the nights warm, the sun always shining. It was nice.

* * *

_"Dear Kat,_

_Really? A gold necklace? That is so nice! He is sweet, isn't he?_

_I find it so interesting… I would trust any one of you gaang members, and Hitomi, Fong, or Li with my life… even though I haven't known you for an inane amount of time. It is striking how quickly trust is developed during hardship, and close living._

_I can't believe it has been a year since the comet. Doesn't it seem like it was just yesterday? Is Azula still locked safely away? I was always unsure of that. Insane, sure, but she still needs to be in a high-risk prison. Not some wimpy asylum._

_Anyway. How is it, being girlfriend of the Fire Lord? Any special privileges? Anything different from being an ambassador._

_Just curious, if you two got married could you keep your spot as ambassador? I suppose not._

_Life is the same as usual here. Lil has a boyfriend. Quite the charmer. Already like a little brother. They are a really cute couple!_

_Miss you as always!_

_Love,_

_Kya"

* * *

_

"Fire Lord Zuko and Water Tribe Ambassador Katara 

formally request your presence at their wedding:

Five days before the winter solstice,

At the palace

Please respond if you are planning on coming."

_Note on back:_

'_Kya, I assume you and Liluye will be my Issho Ojusan? Or as they say in the water tribe, Bride's Maidens? I can't believe this is actually happening! It is beyond the limits of imagination! Please ask Sokka if he will be one of Zuko's men. Zuko asked specifically. _

_I'll send you more info as it is figured out! _

_OH MY WORD!_

_Love,_

_Katara._"

* * *

"_Katara,_

_OH MY WORD is right! Congrats! Of course I'll be your Issho Ojusan, so will Lil, and Sokka said he'd love to be one of Zuko's men! He was pretty excited at first, then he realized that this was his baby sister, and got pretty ruffled. It was very __cute__ funny to watch. _

_We'll come down in a few months! I am so very very excited!_

_Oh by the way, you are too young to marry! But I suppose we will overlook tradition for the sake of true love… hahahah!_

_Love,_

_Kya"

* * *

_

"_Dear Hitomi,_

_No WAY! That is sooo awesome! I suppose there is no way of telling if it is a boy or girl. I honestly cannot say which I prefer. What will you name it? I like Kuza or Zika or Kiza or Fina or Lizina, Yuuchi, or even Kez. _

_Oh, I cannot wait to see you! Only two months! _

_Love,_

_Kya"

* * *

_

"_Dear Zuko,_

_Get her the blue, with the red flame. It is an amazing example of your connection. She will adore it! Glad you asked, it means a lot! _

_Way to go, on proposing! I'm glad you finally did it… took long enough! Just kidding… kinda! Hee hee_

_I can't wait to see how beautiful your children are!_

_By the way, aren't you glad I didn't take that Fire Lady position? There would have been a lot of to-do, and paperwork. See, I foresaw this. You two were so made for each other._

_OK OK enough mushy talk._

_EEK, I'm SO excited!_

_Thank you so much… _

_Love,_

_Kya"

* * *

_

"_Dear Teo,_

_I'd wait. I think she still loves Aang. I could go on, but I'll see you in person in a month, and I think it will be easier to explain that way._

_Thanks for asking though,_

_Kya"

* * *

_

"_Dear Toph,_

_Wasn't Kat and Zu's wedding absolutely gorgeous? I don't know how they did it. I love weddings. Especially since I get to see you! _

_How is Teo? I have exchanged a few letters with him… nice kid. _

_Man, I miss you! How is Hitomi doing with her baby? Hitomi, I know you're reading this, don't overexert yourself!_

_Lil and Kona are getting ever closer. They went out fishing yesterday, one of the very few un-chaperoned trips I've allowed. I trust them but… you never know! Ha. _

_How about Li? And Aang? I haven't talked to them in a while… they're a bit flighty… don't return my letters as quickly._

_I am beginning to get a bit tired of this winter. I want spring._

_Love,_

_Kya"

* * *

_

"_Dear Katara,_

_Sokka is doing great. _

_And no, he is still keeping the right distance. We're not courting, dating, or anything like that._

_I still cry myself to sleep some nights. _

_Did I ever tell you I am working as the librarian at our town's library? It is very very small, but the kids love it. We have shows, and read alouds, and we even have adopted Uncle Iroh's traditional music night!_

_I suppose you get to officially call him Uncle Iroh too! Crazy, isn't it! We're related, somewhat distantly.__ I wonder… _

_Anyway, Lil will turn sixteen in four months. I have been helping Kona with his betrothal necklace. It is an interesting process, but with every step I can't help but think of Helaku doing it, making one for me. Those are the nights I cry._

_Don't worry, my life is fairly good._

_Miss you, as usual!_

_Love,_

_Kya"

* * *

_

"_Dear Toph,_

_I assume Katara transcribed that last letter._

_OH MY WORD, she used MY name suggestion! Yuuchi is a cute name, don'tcha think?_

_I am SO very happy she and the baby are alright! I must admit, I was a bit nervous._

_That baby must be sooo cute! I cannot wait to see him! Can you please get married so I have an official excuse?_

_That was a joke, don't get huffy!_

_Can you believe it is nearing summer again?_

_The years fly, and I am left grasping onto their tails, trying to catch my bearings!_

_Love,_

_Kya"

* * *

_

"_Dear Hitomi,"_

_Thanks for that drawing! He looks so cute! I will hopefully get to see him at Liluye's wedding, which should be sometime in the near future. Her birthday is in six days, and Kona has the necklace already!_

_I must admit, it's a bit of a shock, your little sister getting married. Strange and wonderful. It helps that Kona's such a great guy. _

_I am a bit worded out. Exhausted from the planning I have been doing. Kona, Sokka, and I have been planning the most amazing birthday for Liluye. I cannot wait._

_I want to give you and little Yuuchi a big giant hug! Just pretend for now, ok?_

_Love,_

_Kya"

* * *

_

_(Liluye's perspective)_

I woke up at about eight O'candle, just like any other day; except this wasn't just any other day. This was my birthday. My sixteenth birthday! I had a lot of things I wanted.

I wanted my boyfriend Kona to propose.

I wanted my sister and Sokka to get married.

I wanted my mother to move back.

Truly, I wanted all my friends to move here. Of course that is impossible, since my friends are important ambassadors and a Fire Lord and Lady.

Really truly all of those were pretty much impossible, except for Kona proposing.

A few quick facts before my birthday:

My favorite colors are blue and green.

My favorite food is Sea Prunes

My favorite instrument is the pipa

My favorite animal is the penguin. I also like cats.

My favorite things to do are read and fish. I can't waterbend like my sister (or firebend like her) but I still love the water. I also love just hanging out with my cousins and friends.

I have always wanted to visit the North Pole.

Ok, now that that is done with, you can fully understand the magnitude of this amazing birthday.

I woke up and went to the kitchen as usual. Sokka and Kya were already at the table, discussing something in low tones. I hoped it was their engagement, but when I asked,

"Are you discussing your engagement?" They both gave me identical looks; a mixture of 'oh, please,' and 'I wish.'

I ate a plain breakfast, with them staring at me, watching me eat. It was slightly unnerving, but I sat through it.

"Lu?" Kona was at the door, coming in, kissing my forehead romantically, "I have a surprise for you outside!"

I dropped my spoon into my bowl of mush and jumped up excitedly. Sokka and Kya exchanged a grin and followed me out. When I sprang through the door I was greeted with the sight of a ginormous sky bison.

"Appa!" I ran to the fluffy beast and gave him a good scratch.

"Hop on!" Kona helped me up, and Kya and Sokka followed. Sokka moved to the head of the animal,

"Yip yip!"

"Where are we going?" I was brimming with excitement and impatience

"You'll see." Kya grinned evilly at me.

After about twenty or so minutes I spotted a gleaming white sheet of ice. A few seconds later I could make out an emblem on it, and the blue specks along it's top turned into men in parkas

"The north pole!" I screeched.

"You got it!" Sokka smiled back at me from his place on Appa's head

Kona grinned and put his arm around me,

"Surprised?"

I turned to Kya, whose face was one giant smile. I grinned back.

"I am so surprised! You guys are the best! I can't believe… wow!"

"Wow pretty much sums it up!" Kya leaned over and gave me a light hug, "Glad we could at least kinda make you happy!" She winked.

Oh man, something was up!

I tried to let that pass, because we were descending. Men in fluffy parkas with dark hair pulled into wolf tails were bending an ice runway for us. Odd, but nice.

"Liluye?" A tall man, dressed similarly to all the rest but with a bit more pomp, stepped up.

"Um, that's me…" I raised my hand

"I am Chief Arnook! Welcome to our grand home! Please, follow me."

I shot an excited look at Kya and Sokka, then grabbed Kona's hand and pulled him down the runway.

We were given a long, extensive, wonderful tour. We ended up, much to my amazement, at the palace.

"Welcome to my humble abode," The chief winked.

He gave us the tour of his palace, which in turn ended up in the dining hall, where a feast was laid out.

We were joined by important courtiers, and noblemen. It was absolutely amazing. But it was nothing compared to what the chief said at the end.

He stood up and cleared his throat, gaining complete and immediate silence.

"Dearest Liluye… I have come to know you in these few hours and have decided upon a course of action."

I cast a puzzled look at Kona, but his face said nothing.

"Young lady, how would you like to be the next princess of the Northern Water Tribe?"

I gasped. And sat there for five minutes with my mouth wide open, until Kona leaned over and whispered, 'I think they want an answer in this century," with a kind chuckle

"Me? How…" I was slightly dumbfounded honestly. This was wild. How was I even in the running?

"As you may know, my daughter and only heir died three years ago." A shadow crossed his face, and when I looked back at Kya I saw that Sokka looked pained also, but after a brief moment the chief continued, "Moving past that tragedy, and on to the practical. I need an heir. Age is creeping up on me, and I fear that if I die, my strong tribe will fall to shambles and in fighting. So I asked Sokka if he wished to take my place upon my demise. He declined, but he said he knew someone who would be perfect for the position. That someone was you, my dear. I said I could not say for sure until I met you, but now I have met you and I have decided that you will make a fine future ruler. Also, if you marry, you can choose how many duties your husband can have, be it all or none. It is within your discretion."

This was… crazy. Completely crazy.

"I… I suppose I accept? Yes, I accept!" I laughed out loud at the insanity of it all.

"Well then, will you come up here and give me a hug?" The old chief smiled kindly, and I skipped up there. Could this day get any better?

Apparently it could.

Kona took me out on a boat. Said we were going fishing. As soon as we were far out, he pulled something from his pocket and turned to me.

"Liluye?" He said, "Will you marry me?"

It wasn't fancy, crazy, or over dramatic. It was perfect.

And the conveniently timed fireworks were really nice too.

* * *

"_Dear Hitomi,_

_Can you believe this is actually happening? Lil is getting married! _

_I'm still in shock. The whole 'water tribe princess' thing was insane too, but somehow this seems crazier! Ha!_

_I promised I'd send for you if there was a wedding. Unfortunately it's not me getting married._

_Yes, unfortunately._

_I want to love him, Tomi, really I do… it's just that every time I picture us together I see Helaku. It's completely horrible._

_I am so tired of grieving. It's been three stinking years. I look awful in black and I'm totally worn out._

_But what can I do? It isn't a choice. It's a feeling._

_Say what you will. I'm feeling rather indestructible at the moment. _

_I must say; planning a wedding leaves you feeling rather accomplished! Too bad it's not done yet… speaking of which I better go talk to the ladies who are organizing the music. There simply must be a pipa. (Secretly I'm hoping Uncle Iroh will play it. And maybe we could finally get Zuko to play that Tsungi horn! Haha!)_

_See you soon!_

_Love,_

_Kya"

* * *

_

_[Sokka's perspective]_

I still loved her. More, even. After three years, I loved her more than ever. But I really didn't want to push her, didn't want her to shut me out for good.

Still, I was getting tired. Tired of not being able to put my arm around her, not being able to run up and kiss her, not being able to go to sleep with her soft breathing right next to my ear.

I missed her, truth be told.

But I didn't know what to do about it. I asked Hitomi, her best friend, and she said Kya wanted to love me, but she still wasn't over Helaku.

Three years. I felt bad for her though… to be grieving for three years must be tough. He must have been some kind of guy. Honestly, I wished I could have met him.

Watch what you wish for, kids.

It was a regular day (don't all stories start that way? That or 'once upon a time'… regular day seems to fit better here. anyway)

It was a regular day and I was just going to cut some wood (something I do a lot… it's amazing how much wood you need in the winter, just to heat your house and stove) when I collapsed.

Yep, passed completely out. Like I'd been knocked on the head.

Except, I didn't know I was unconscious. I thought I had been transported, somehow, into a nice little clearing. Well, I sorta had.

And then this guy came in. Now, I'm sure girls have dreams like this all the time, handsome guys walking up, but it was a new experience for me. I was completely confused.

"Who are you? Why are you here? Where is here?" I scratched my head stereotypically and looked around.

"My name is Helaku. You've probably heard of me…" He smirked slightly.

"Oh yeah. Oh! You're Helaku?" I sized him up. He had the basic Water tribe look… wolf's tail, blue clothes, and brown eyes.

"The one and only!" He sighed, "Look, I'm here to talk about Kya."

I gave him a sigh back and sat down, "This'll be a while."

"I want you to have her," He sat down too.

"What?" I sat bolt upright in surprise

"You… I think you'd be good for her."

"Then why are you here? That is something we agree on!" I gave him a look that said, 'leave me alone!'

"I'm here because I want to make sure you treat her right. And to tell you that I'm going to speak to her… hopefully get her to be more receptive of you."

"Ok?" I raised my eyebrows questioningly.

"Look… to really love a woman, to understand her, you have to know her deep inside."

I nodded, motioning for him to go on

"Hear every one of her thoughts, see every dream that she dreams, and give her wings when she wants to fly. When you love a woman, you have to tell her that she is really wanted… when you love a woman, you tell her that she's the one. Because she needs somebody, to tell her that it's going to last forever"

I nodded again

"When you can see your unborn children in her eyes, you know you really love a woman. You have to give her some faith, hold her tight, use a little tenderness, you must treat her right. When you do all this, she will be there for you, taking good care of you. Do you see? Can you manage this?"

I nodded for the third time, "I can. Very much so."

"Good. Go get her."

"Thank you… odd to say it, but I'm glad we talked." I shook his hand firmly

"As am I, bud. Now take care of Kya, got it?"

"You don't even have to tell me once."

And then I woke up.

* * *

"_Dear Katara,_

_I am going to ask Kya to marry me. I don't know when, where, or how. This is where I need your help._

_I don't need your help with the betrothal necklace. I've had that for a while._

_You are the best sister ever!_

_Love, Sokka"

* * *

_

"_Dear Katara, _

_No, I'm glad you showed Zuko the letter. _

_So really, no advice at all? I mean come on, how is 'whenever it feels right' supposed to help me. _

_Maybe I'll wait until you're here. You are coming down for Lil's wedding, right?_

_Oh, and to answer your other question… this is going to sound weird but I talked to Helaku and he said he was going to talk to her. He said the time was right._

_You are still the best sister ever! Though I suppose, through your marriage, Azula is also my sister. Better watch out, she'll surpass you!_

_Love, Sokka"

* * *

_

[back to Kya's perspective]

I really, really wanted to love Sokka. But I was scared. Scared of forgetting Helaku, mainly. And every time I tried to picture Sokka and myself I saw Helaku. It was horrible.

Until one day. I was going to pick some flowers, a nice girly thing, when I collapsed. Passed out, I think.

Of course, I didn't know I had collapsed. I was transported to a nice clearing. I was really confused until Helaku came in.

Then I was breathless.

"You mean, this is possible? You can come to me?" I ran up and hugged him

"Not exactly. Well, it takes a lot. This is hard… and I don't want to waste my time talking about it…" He smiled and kissed me on the forehead, "I'm here to talk about Sokka."

"Oh, Helaku, I'm so –"

"Stop… you are doing nothing wrong." He laid a hand on my shoulder, "In fact, you're doing everything, almost, right."

I sat down because my legs had stopped working, due either to the fact that Helaku was here or the fact that he seemed fine with Sokka's and my… relationship, nonexistent though it was.

"Careful now! Don't want you hurting yourself. Look, Kya, you're being mean to the kid," Helaku made a puzzled face

"What are you talking about?" I couldn't assimilate his face with his words.

"Sokka! Why are you holding back? Why can't you love him? It's been three years! Three! Almost four! Your time of grieving is over, more than over! You can love him, Kya. You should."

"I was…" I bit my lip. I hadn't told anyone this, because when I said it out loud it sounded stupid. But I suppose Helaku would understand… somehow.

"I was afraid I'd forget you, so I didn't let myself see Sokka and me together. Every time I pictured us, I would force your face there. Then I would tell myself I didn't like Sokka, that all I could see was you. I was… am… so very scared I'll lose you. You were the most precious thing in my life, for so long, and you were the loss that hit me the most. I loved my father, I had many friends, but you were… special. I was so scared that if I heard Sokka saying he loved me every day, I would forget the way your voice sounded when _you_ said it. Scared that if he held me, I would lose the feeling of your arms. Terrified that if he kissed me enough, I would taste his lips, not yours. I don't want you to just disappear. I don't want my children to one day come upon a marker and say 'Helaku? Who on earth is that?' I don't want to forget your scent, your laugh, even your annoying snorting noises. I don't want to forget you, Helaku."

"Kya… you have to let me go. Do you want your children to grow up thinking 'my father is second best in my mother's heart. My mother loves a man who has been dead for half her life more than the one who is living.' Don't look like that, Kya, they'd think it. It doesn't matter if you loved Sokka, or whoever, more, they'd still think that.

But that doesn't mean you have to forget me. Visit my grave. Tell my story. Name the library after me! I can leave a legacy without ruining your life."

I sat there for a few minutes, rather stricken. Every single thing he said was true.

"But… I want…" I trailed off. I didn't know what I wanted.

"Ky…" He frowned, "You know, they have a poem up here… I think it'll explain."

I bit my lip as he took a deep breath, and assumed his oratory stance.

"Night, and the spirit of life, calling.  
And a voice, just the fear of a child, asking.  
Wait… there's no mountain too great, hear these words and have faith, have faith.  
He lives in you, he lives in me, he watches over, everything we see.  
Into the water, into the truth, in your reflection, he lives in you."

I frowned, confused, "What does that mean?" suddenly the next line came to me. I don't know if I had heard the poem before, or if he put it in my mind, but all of a sudden I was speaking;

"You live in me, You're watching over, everything I see  
In every creature, in every star, in my reflection, you live in me. "

He smiled slightly, "I'll be there. When you miss me, look at a star. Look at a bor-q-pine. Go bend. I'll be right there with you."

"I –"

He interrupted me; "I've been staying away. I wanted you to forget me, to go on with your life. Surely this can't be healthy, your obsession with me."

I opened my mouth to protest but he shook his head and continued,

"I just recently realized that, without intervention from me, you could be forty before you ever even decided to be nice to Sokka. And that is a ways from marriage! So, listen, you won't forget me, but you don't need to think of me every minute. If you feel like I'm slipping, just visit my grave or something poignant like that. I understand your loathing to forget completely, but forgetting and letting go are two completely different things. Got it?"

I nodded

"C'mere Anana," I ran over and he gave me a big bear hug, "I love you, ok? But you don't have to love me… not like that."

"Thank you, 'laku. Thank you so much."

"You say yes to him, ok?"

I shrugged, unsure what he was refferring to, "You got it."

"G'bye Pitsiark."

"Goodbye Helaku."

And then I woke up.

* * *

_Dear Toph,_

_I talked to Helaku._

_It was extremely interesting. And odd, but wonderful. And very very enlightening. _

_I could tell you more, but I'd rather do it in person. _

_Is Teo coming with you? I certainly hope so! He's a great guy, really cute. _

_See you very soon! _

_Love, Katara

* * *

_

Liluye's wedding was, definitely, the best night of my life.

OK, that is so not true. But it was the first best night of my life… if that makes any sense.

She looked so gorgeous. I must admit, I cried pretty much the whole way through the service. This was my baby sister, who I had pretty much raised these past few years… my baby sister. How on earth was she old enough to marry? I still remembered her losing teeth, wearing her first hair loopies, and catching her first fish. Here she was getting married!

Insane, I must say! And it made me feel a bit old, though most people wouldn't call twenty old, per se. Sokka just laughed at me when I told him this. He said if I already felt old then I might as well give up, not worry about aging. I smacked him for that.

My favorite part of their wedding, though, was the reception. For very obvious reasons.

Though perhaps they're not obvious to you? Oh… right!

I was sitting at the main table, with every single one of my dear friends. Hitomi and Fong (complete with their adorable son, Yuuchi! He's a total cutie!), Li and Cha-li, Toph and Teo, Katara and Zuko, Iroh and Ursa, Aang, my mother, and of course Sokka. Hitomi was talking about Yuuchi and the walking he was starting to do.

"Not even a year old, and he's pulling up on tables and things! He wants to be mobile so badly! He's so cute too, he makes this little face," She did her impression of it, which cracked all of us up

"Well, speaking of that… guess what?" Katara grinned

"No way! Oh my goodness, congrats Kat!" I gave her a congratulatory hug

"What? I don't get it!" Sokka frowned

"Come on, denigii, it's pretty obvious with the 'speaking of that'!" I raised my eyebrows at him

"Just tell me! Pleeeeeease?"

"She's pregnant!" I rolled my eyes at his denseness

"Really? No way! Congratulations Sis!" He leaned over and gave her a hug that probably left her with a few crushed ribs. Everyone else gave their congrats, and she smiled excitedly;

"Thanks guys! I'm pretty psyched!"

"Congrats to you too, Zuko!" Sokka gave him a hearty slap on the back

"Thank you!" The Fire Lord was blushing, but he looked every bit as excited as Katara.

"So, when are you due?" This was Toph

"Um, seven months, I think. So sometime in the summer!"

"That is sooo awesome! I can't wait! I hope it's a girl!" Li clapped her hands together ecstatically

I noticed that Aang had been silent this whole time. He was seated at the far end of the table, across from my mother, by Iroh and Ursa… the 'adult side' so to speak.

I watched him, as he stared first a Katara, then at Toph. He looked so incredibly depressed, I actually was worried. Who knew what he was going through? He needed… someone.

My eyes flicked across the table, stopping on every female for no more than two seconds.

Hitomi and Katara – married

Toph – I just… I couldn't see that. They'd had their chance, they'd both taken other paths at different times. They weren't destined for each other.

That only left Li. I sighed, moving my gaze to Cha-Li. I didn't want to break them up. He was an awesome guy; everybody loved him. He was funny, nice, and pretty good looking to boot. But Li and Aang would be good together. Plus, hadn't she kinda liked him, all those years ago?

I shook my head… this was going nowhere. It was a dumb idea. I turned to say something to Hitomi, and when I turned back Li was talking to Aang and he looked happy.

Really happy.

Maybe, just may-

"Kya? Don't do your matchmaker thing, ok?" Sokka raised an eyebrow at me

"How'd you… wha –" I gaped at him

"I know you! You were eyeing Li and Aang like you were naming their grandchildren already." He smiled, to show he wasn't being mean

"You!" I grinned and smacked him on the chest. He caught my hand and kept it in his. I was surprised, not only that he'd done it, but at the feeling of extreme joy that rose in me.

"Kya?" He gazed at me unflinchingly. My own eyes widened in surprise and shock, wondering what on earth he was going to say.

"Um, yes?"

"Will you marry me?" He pulled out the most beautiful necklace from his pocket and held it out, his eyes an amazing mixture of fear and hope.

I sat there with my mouth open for about five minutes, until Hitomi kicked me under the table. Then I promptly declared;

"Ouch!" which left everyone a bit confused. I then laughed and said, "Of course I'll marry you, you deniigi! What took you so long!"

Clapping was heard all around, along with cheers and cat-calls when I threw my arms around him and kissed him.

"About time," declared Katara.

"Oh, you're one to talk," Sokka laughed

She grinned, "Ok, ok! Zuko and I didn't wait this long! Congrats Sokka! I suppose this means I don't have to worry about you any more, right?" She turned to me, "Good luck!"

We laughed, long and loud and wonderful.

* * *

"Oh no, don't drink that!" Sokka knocked the punch cup out of my hand

"Why not? I'm thirsty!"

He snickered, "I just spiked it with Cactus Juice!"

"Oh Sokka! You pakak!" Even though my tone was reprimanding I couldn't help but grin

"C'mon, there's only a few of us left! Just wait ten minutes… it'll get interesting!" He leaned back in his chair, and I leaned into him, loving the way his arm automatically went around me.

Sure enough, ten minutes later we were enjoying it a bit too much. There was only our table and a few stragglers left.

"Look, all I'm saying is, Kuei loves that bear a little too much! Maybe it's his secret lover, dressed in a bear costume!"

"Fong! There is no way! That wouldn't work at all! It's probably his illicit child!"

"No, Tomi, Keui is way too scrupulous to have an illicit child!"

Sokka leaned in and whispered, "Too scrupulous to have an illicit child, but not a secret lover?"

I giggled, covering it up with a cough

"Ok, Aang, would you rather kiss me or Ursa?"

"Neither!"

"Ok… Appa or momo!"

"Neither!"

"You're such a cheater! Come onnnnn! Iroh or Zuko?"

"Neither!"

"Aaaaaaaaaang!"

"Is my mother flirting with Aang?" I whispered

"Um, I think so…" Sokka mock shuddered, causing another giggle from me.

"I dare you to kiss Iroh!"

"Nuh-uh! Not gonna happen, Schweetness. Dare me to kiss Cha-Li, pleeeeeeeaaaase?"

"No way, that's so cheating! Like, if you made me kiss Zuko, that'd be good for me, right? But not you? 'Cause it would be no fun. But that's why I'm not playing. Because I'm married, and you're not! Right, Toph? You aren't married, right?"

"I don't think so! Not last time I checked!"

"Good! SO kiss Iroh!"

"No way! No way! No waaaaaaay!"

Sokka snorted, "Did Toph just sing?"

"She tried to!" I smiled, "Your plan is working. Oh my goodness!"

"What?"

"I think Iroh and Ursa are making out in that corner!"

His eyes got ginormous, "No way, where?"

I giggled, "Gotcha!"

"Are you sure you didn't drink any of that punch?" He grinned

"Pretty sure. Hey, they may not be in that corner but where are they?"

He gasped, "No WAY! That's crazy! Them? Really, I thought… ok, that is creepy! I think I'm gonna have nightmares!"

I was about to reply, but sudden chants of 'Zuko! Zuko! Zuko!' interrupted me.

"Oh no, what's happen – Oh my word, finally! Yay!"

"Finally?"

"Come on Sok, we've been trying to get Zuko to play the Tsungi horn for ages! Didn't even think of getting him drunk… way to go!"

"Well, that's why they call me the idea man!"

I grinned and gave him a kiss on the cheek, "Sure it is, dear!"

We stayed silent and listened as he began to play. Despite the rowdy mood, he played a somewhat mellow piece. He played it through once, and then I recognized it. When he started on the second time I sang along;

"Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall.  
Winter, Spring, Summer, and Fall

Four seasons, Four loves,  
Four seasons, for love"

I grinned at Li, who had sung it with me.

"Good job!" Sokka smiled when I sat down and I smiled back,

"Thanks!"

Zuko played something a bit more upbeat, but I was getting tired.

"Sokka," I yawned, "Thanks for asking me, tonight. It was perfect timing."

"Sure. My pleasure!"

I grinned, and gave him a quick kiss, "I love you."

"I love you too."

* * *

A/N –i-amawriterDOTblogspotDOTcom/2010/05/shila-chp20-uitayokDOThtml


	21. Epilouge or Pianikpok

"Kya, are you ready? It's time to go!" Iroh ran a hand through his already fluffy hair worriedly

"You're messing your hair up! Yes, I'm ready!" I smiled and smoothed down his hair.

"Good luck you two!" Cha-li was standing at the back of the garden where we were waiting, holding Yuuchi, trying to quiet him down.

"Thanks Cha-li!" I pinched Yuuchi's cheek, "See ya later Sifu Yuuchi!"

I'll have to explain that nickname later.

"Kya!"

"Coming Uncle, don't have a cow hippo!"

I took the arm he was holding out and we walked down the narrow path, towards Sokka and Aang. Aang was performing the ceremony, being the Avatar and all.

I tried not to cry (tears of joy) as we reached the end of the path, and Iroh bowed to Sokka.

"Hello love," Sokka whispered

"Hey Sokky," I grabbed his hand quickly.

I honestly don't remember what happened next. It's there, but I can't see it. I was so happy and so nervous and so incredibly out of it that I can't remember the exact details.

I just remember an overwhelming feeling of happiness

* * *

"Sokka! Sokka!" I ran up to where he was working on some invention

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong! Katara had her baby! It's a girl! They named her Hikari. Look, they sent a drawing of her!" I held out the drawing excitedly and he took it with just as much excitement

"She's so cute! Wow! I can't believe this… I have a niece!" He turned to me, eyes wide and shining, "A niece!"

"Congrats Sok! Oh, we have to visit!"

A sudden screech split the air, and another messenger hawk landed on the ground. I bent to get the letter, confused at how soon it had arrived after the other one. Perhaps it was from Toph, who was in Ba Sing Se for a month.

"What is it?" Sokka put the drawing of Hikari down and turned to the new letter

"_Dear Sokka and Kya_

_I hope you got my other letter. Please remember that wonderful news as you hear this sad news. It will be a much-needed spot of light. _

_Iroh is dead. Zuko found him in his chamber yesterday, when he didn't come down for breakfast. Apparently he died in his sleep. _

_I swear, Hikari is the only thing keeping us sane. Zuko especially. He realized his love for Iroh so few years ago… he thought he'd have more time. _

_We are worried about Ursa. She loved him, though they didn't really act upon it too much. _

_The funeral is in two weeks. If you can be here by then, that will be great. _

_So sorry to tell you like this. It happened so soon after the birth of Hikari that it's even more of a shock. To be reminded that life can be taken away just as quickly as it can be given… it's rather depressing. _

_Miss you! Glad I'll get to see you, despite the horrific circumstances._

_Love, Katara."_

"Oh Kya," Sokka let me fall into his arms, sobbing

I couldn't stop. As ecstatic as I had been five minutes ago, I was twice as sad now. Sokka just held me, rocking me slightly.

"I'm sorry! I can't… stop"

"Shhh, it's ok. It's a horrible thing," He hugged me closer.

"We have to go," I gasped.

"We'll leave right now."

* * *

"Hey cousin." I hugged Zuko tight, "How are you holding up?"

"I'm not," He sniffed, "I'm a wreck."

"I'm so sorry, Zuko." I rubbed a circle on his back, "It'll be alright. Let's go see that new heir of yours, shall we?"

He nodded, "Thanks Kya."

Sokka gave him a hearty slap on the back, the way men do.

"Hey buddy. Staying sane?"

Zuko nodded again, "Just barely!"

"Come on guys, I want to see the baby!" I grabbed their hands and tugged on them

"Ok, ok!" Sokka smiled at me, "Let's go see Hikari!"

"Oh Katara, she's adorable!" I held the precious baby in my arms, delighted.

"Thanks! She's our little light, truly."

Hikari smiled at me, a little turning up of the corners of her mouth. I almost died.

"She smiled at you!" Sokka had his hand on my shoulder and he was peering at the tiny bundle, "Aren't you just the cutest? Yes you are! Cute little baby!" He let her grab his finger, a giant smile filling his face.

"You two are the adorable ones. Gosh it's good to see you together!" Katara smiled wearily at us.

"Thanks Kat! How are you?"

"I'm alive! That is something to marvel at!" She laughed humorlessly, "And I'm somewhat sane."

"Good!"

"Hey, there is something I need your help with. Zuko said, and I agree, we need to introduce Hikari to Azula. I've visited her many times, but I need your strength to help me with this. I need to tell her about Iroh too."

I nodded, and held Hikari tighter, "I understand. I'll come with you."

"Thank you, Kya! I'm going tomorrow morning."

"Just come knock on the door, I'll be able to get ready quickly."

"Sounds good."

* * *

I woke up the next day at her first knock. Or, I assumed it was her first knock. It was the first one I heard…

"Good morning! Thanks again for doing this." She was holding a tightly wrapped Hikari, and she herself was dressed in rather plain clothes.

"No problem! Come on in, you can sit down while I get dressed."

Katara walked in and sat down on the chaise lounge at the foot of the bed.

Sokka groaned and put the pillow over his head

"Good morning to you too, Sokka!" She smiled and I laughed

I slipped into something simple like she had, and I splashed water on my face to fully wake me up. I pulled my hair into my standard loopies and then slipped into my boots.

"Ok, I'm ready!" I went over and gave Sokka a kiss, "Sorry to wake you, dear. See you later"

"It's ok," he mumbled, "Have fun. Love you."

"Yeah, fun… right. Love you too"

"Goodbye Sokka! Don't sleep too long, you'll be grumpy!" Katara patted his foot motherly, causing me to snort with laughter

"Ah, you two crack me up!"

Katara gave me a grin before heading out the door.

"Here we are. Have you seen Azula since she was put in here?" Katara picked Hikari out of her carrier.

"I visited her once, before I left. Right after the comet."

"Ah, quite a while ago. She's gotten better, but she's still mean and cynical, it's just tempered with odd giggling and childlike queries. Don't challenge her, she gets a bit wild, and don't reprimand her. It goes against your personality, I know, but it must be done."

"Ok."

"I'm going to introduce Hikari, tell the news about Iroh, drink some tea , and leave."

"Haha, nice one!"

"What? Oh, yes, sorry! Pardon the pun!" She smiled slightly

"Ok, so we get in, tell our news, socialize for a few minutes, and leave."

She nodded, "It will be hard to leave, I'll warn you, but again it must be done."

"Okeedoke!"

She nodded to the guard at the door and he unbolted the latch.

"Don't be surprised. When you see her I mean. Just follow my lead, ok?"

I nodded. I was getting a bit nervous now, as I followed Katara through the open door into the surprisingly warm room.

I was struck by the room before I could even think about looking for Azula. The walls were painted a deep, very Fire Nation red and the floor was plush carpet. There was a four poster bed in one corner and a mirror-less vanity in the other. The most amazing was the large window that filled the space in between the two. It was shielded by bars, but it was still obviously a rarity. I didn't see Azula until we walked past the doorway. She was sitting in a faded red chair in the corner across from the vanity, sipping a cup of tea. Her hair was just as ragged as it had been five years ago, but greasier, and her plain red dress and pants were singed and ripped. Her face had grown sharper; she had lost weight, and her arms were scratched up. As soon as she saw us she made a face and threw the teacup in our general direction.

"You're late!" She exclaimed angrily

Katara smiled genially, "I know, I'm so sorry about that! I got caught outside, talking. But I brought two new visitors! Perhaps you remember Kya?" She gestured to me

"Ah yes, that long lost cousin. Why didn't you visit?" Her expression suddenly turned pitiful

"I'm so sorry, er… cousin, I moved back to my homeland. It's very far away!"

"She's lying, mother. Surely she's been back here! This is her homeland! The land of her ancestry, right? What about when Zuzu married the waterbender? She was here then, right? I think she's a liar." She tilted her head to the side as if she were listening to someone, then she stomped her foot like a two-year-old, "I don't care if she's related to me! I don't like her! I don't want to get along with her!"

I watched this exchange, horrified. What was happening? The last time I had been to see Azula, right after the comet, all she had done was sit in the corner of her padded cell and whimper. With the occasional angry, 'I hate you' outburst. This was much different, and somehow scarier.

"Fine, mother. I'll be civil." She turned to me with a glare, "Do have some tea, _Kya_." She said my name as if it was an insult, but I ignored it.

I noticed Katara was sitting down in the chair across from Azula and pouring herself tea. I followed her example nervously.

"What do you have in your hands?" Azula finally seemed to notice Hikari, "Is it a doll? You know I detest dolls!"

"It's not a doll, Azula, it's your new niece!" Katara kept her easy smile on as she unwrapped Hikari from her blanket and leaned towards Azula

"She's my… niece?" Azula looked up as if trying to figure it out, "You mean, she's Zuzu's daughter?"

"Zuko's and mine, yes," Katara didn't flinch as Azula touched the baby's face gently

"She's not Zuko's child. Her face is perfect. Zuzu's face is messed up." Azula crossed her arms as if she'd solved the world hunger problem.

"Azula…" Katara took a deep breath, "She is Zuko's child. What Zuko has is a scar. Scars aren't genetic! So Zuko's baby wouldn't have a scar. Do you understand?" She sounded like a mother talking to her little child, trying to make them understand that the cabbage wasn't poisoned, it was good for you.

"I guess so. It really is Zuzu's baby? Not that moustache man? The earthbender? You two seemed to –"

"No!" Katara interrupted her, but not before I understood what Azula was saying, "Haru and I never had _anything_, for goodness sake!"

I snickered, "Oh Azula, I think we are related!"

This prompted a smile from the former Fire Princess, "I have a little quiz! Zuzu calls it my 'are you related to Azula' quiz! He didn't pass, but that's because he's a wimp. He isn't like me. Do you want to take it?"

I shrugged, "Sure!"

"Ok, first question. Have you ever considered world domination?"

I nodded, "It's crossed my mind."

She grinned, "Ok, question two… do you have awesome hair?"

I nodded, "I like to think so. It's pretty amazing."

Her grin got bigger, "Ok… question three, are you a firebending prodigy?"

"I guess you could say I am. In a way."

"Question four! Have you ever manipulated someone to get what you want?"

"Yeah… more times than I'd like to admit," I grinned back

"Last question, Are you insane!" She giggled, "They say I am. Insane!" She giggled again

"You know what?" I patted her arm, "Sokka says I am too. Insane!" I giggled along with her. Katara just watched us, shaking her head slowly.

"You girls are two peas in a pod! Definitely related! Ha!"

"Katara! You're related too, right? But you're too nice. You wouldn't pass my quiz. I know it!" Azula shrugged, "Oh well. You can't win 'em all, right Kya?"

"Right!"

"Mother, you were right! I know you love it when I say that. My cousin is nice. I like her."

I shot a look at Katara, but she didn't see it. She was speaking to Azula

"Azula, this tea is very good! Did you make it?"

"Yes, I did! I'm glad you like it. They told me you were coming, so I made it for you! I wanted to poison it, but mother said that wouldn't be courteous. Uncle Iroh told the recipe to me. He is an odd man. I don't know if I hate him or love him!" She giggled again.

"Azula… I have something to tell you."

"Something to tell me? Oh, let me guess… Zuzu's realized he's too much of a wimp to rule, and he's giving me the throne! Or… the earth kingdom exploded! Or… I get to be Fire Lord and then I get to explode the Earth Kingdom!" She giggled yet again

"Er… no." Katara looked to me for support, and I suddenly saw the lines of weariness on her face.

"Azula," I took over, placing my warm hand over hers, "Uncle Iroh is dead. He died two weeks ago, in his sleep."

Her face contorted, first to a gleeful expression, then a sorrowful one, then finally an enraged one. She stood up and faced Katara,

"Two weeks? _Two weeks_? You're _very_ late, waterbender!" She grabbed the teapot and threw it against the wall, where it shattered and spilt tea on the carpet.

"Can you clean that up, _Katara_? Bend tea? Iroh could. Iroh was a master tea bender. Tea was Iroh's life. How dare you drink it and pretend everything was ok when he was dead? You are a liar, Kya, you are! Oh mother… I was right!" She giggled, "Oh, don't look so stricken, cousin! I'm just kidding! I don't care about that fat old man! He didn't know me at all! He hated me, I know it! He only ever gave me tea recipes and dollies! And he gave Zuko a knife!" At this point she sat back down and started sniffing, "I wanted a knife. I really wanted a knife. But of course, Zuzu got the knife. Who cares about dollies and fashions? I want a knife," She pouted

"Yes, dear. I'm so sorry." Katara sipped her tea calmly.

"Can I hold the baby?"

"Her name is Hikari," Katara answered

"Can I hold Hikari?" Azula looked pleadingly at Katara.

"I suppose. Be gentle. There you go," Katara placed Hikari delicately in Azula's arms. I personally thought she was a very brave woman. I wouldn't trust my cup of tea with Azula, much less my newborn baby.

"She's so little! You could just crush her!"

"Mmhmm." Katara continued to sip her tea, unfazed.

"Can I keep her? I always wanted a baby!"

"No, dear, she's my baby. I have to keep her, sorry."

"Oh right, Zuzu's baby! I keep forgetting! Perhaps if she had a scar like Zuzu's I'd remember…" Azula twisted her mouth and pulled one hand up. I noticed Katara's eyes flick up from her teacup, alarmed. Finally, she was paying the necessary attention, but it was too late!

"Azula!" I interrupted, just as she was about to shoot poor Hikari's face.

"What?"

"I was just wondering if I could hold the baby. I… uh, she's my niece too! Sharing, you know." I smiled nervously

"Mother always tells me to share," Azula sighed, "I suppose you can have her."

"Thank you, cousin!" I took Hikari gratefully, almost collapsing with relief. As soon as the baby was safe in my arms Katara took her back.

"Thank you, Kya." She kissed Hikari's forehead and mumbled something to her.

"Ah, sorry about that, cousin. You know those waterbenders, always so jealous. Especially the peasants… which all of them are." Azula cackled, "Of course, they have every reason to be jealous! They are water tribe nothingness, and we are Fire Nation everything!"

I noticed Katara's eyes flash amidst her cooing to Hikari.

"Azula…" I frowned… this was not a subject I wanted to breach. Azula's elitism was ingrained, and it obviously was not going anywhere anytime soon.

"It's time to go." Katara smiled sympathetically at Azula, then urgently at me.

"Go?" Azula frowned petulantly

"Yes, I am so sorry, but Kya and I have lots of things to do. I'm afraid we could only come for a quick morning tea. I am very sorry dear."

"Leave?" Azula's expression was quickly turning stormy.

Katara was already halfway to the door, and I was trying to follow her, but Azula grabbed my arm.

"Don't leave me, cousin. Don't leave me Kya. Not with her. Don't leave me with her. She hates me. She's never loved me. She lies!" Azula was sobbing, but her hand was burning my arm.

"Azula," I lifted her hand from my arm, "I'm sorry."

"No!" Her eyes became as sharp as daggers as I ran after Katara, for safety.

She shot a blast of fire at me, just as I got into the doorway luckily enough.

"I hate you!" She screamed after us, "You left me with her!"

As I watched through the window in the door, she went to her bed and sat in the corner, sobbing and whimpering. This was the Azula I remembered.

I turned to Katara, horrified.

"What is wrong with her?"

"She's insane," Katara sighed, "Completely insane. She sees and hears her mother, just for starters."

"But doesn't she know her mother's alive?"

"Ursa tried to visit her a couple of times, but all Azula would do was scream and shoot fire. So Ursa stopped. She still comes and watches through the door sometimes. It's all very tragic. She's very volatile too, she only lets me or Zuko come see her. She let your mother come a few times, I think, and Iroh. But she won't let the attendants wash her hair or change her clothes. She just sits in there and firebends at the walls, and scratches herself up. Sometimes she'll call for the attendant and a bath, or new clothes, but unless she calls for it they don't even try. A few of them were killed before they learned that lesson."

"She's pitiful and frightening at the same time," I half shuddered

"Yeah. I'm afraid I underestimate her too much. Normally she's fine. She's exactly like a three-year-old child. They look so cute and innocent, but they can harm your most precious belongings." Kat hugged Hikari close

"I am sorry about that." I patted Hikari's hand, which was sticking out of the blanket.

"None of it was your fault. You saved the poor baby."

"I am definitely looking forward to lunch!" I attempted to focus on more positive things

Katara smiled, "You truly are the perfect girl for Sokka!"

I smiled back, "I try."

* * *

The next day was the funeral. It was a beautiful ceremony, though sad. Zuko spoke, my mother spoke, and Toph spoke. It was poignant and funny at parts, exactly as he would have wanted. His body was lying on a pyre, and as soon as the speaking was done Zuko and my mom stepped up to light it. Sokka and I had what I thought was the hardest task: we sang Lu Ten's lullaby as Zuko and Mom lit the pyre. It was so hard to get through, I didn't think I could make it without breaking down, but Sokka's firm hand in mine helped.

Ursa came up after the ceremony and gave us both hugs.

"Thank you for singing that. It was incredible. I know there wasn't a person in the plaza that wasn't crying. It meant a lot, to everyone."

I nodded and sniffed slightly; "It meant a lot to us too. Iroh helped the two of us so many times, but one of them was with that song. It is one memory the three of us shared, one that is especially precious."

Sokka nodded and slipped an arm around my waist to comfort me, something I was incredibly grateful for.

"I'm so glad. Iroh made such an impression on us all," she wiped her eyes and smiled slightly, "I'm so sorry! I just can't stop crying… I can't believe he's gone."

I set my hand gently on her shoulder, "Don't apologize, Aunt Ursa. It's something worth tears!" I wiped a few of my own away, "You have gone through so much trouble; you are definitely allowed to cry!"

Sokka nodded, "You are a strong woman, but no-one is perfect. And the great thing is you don't have to be!"

She thanked us and walked away toward Zuko, who was leaning heavily on Katara, talking to Fong.

"We should take the children," I nodded toward Yuuchi and Hikari, whose mothers looked completely exhausted.

"What a great idea!" He smiled at me and we went over to offer our childcare services.

Once we had the children in hand he turned to me with a skeptical look.

"What now?"

I grinned, "Now we become the fun aunt and uncle."

"Why do I have the feeling this will be barely legal, despite the children?"

"Oh, you have no faith!" I rolled my eyes, laughing all the while.

"The carnival?" Sokka had to almost yell over all the noise.

I still was grinning, "You bet!"

"But they are too young to really enjoy it!" He pointed to Yuuchi, who was staring around with giant eyes, then Hikari, who was asleep.

I shrugged, "But we aren't!"

He shook his head, but he was smiling, "Oh, Kya"

"Come on, I really want to go on the Ferris Wheel!" I took off in the general direction of the giant wheel.

I heard him laugh out loud, and then he was following me, sense of adventure and fun thoroughly inflamed.

It was the perfect thing to distract us from Iroh… or the lack there-of.

* * *

"Kya?"

I turned from where I was watching the moon, "Hmm?"

"Do you want to go back to Nuuk?" Sokka was sitting on the bed, and the scroll he had been reading lay beside him.

"I… yes, I do."

"Are you sure? Every day here you seem to come out of your shell more. You have a purpose here, you have stuff to do."

"But… well…" I was speechless. Everything he said was true, I just hadn't realized it.

"You said you wanted to learn firebending, but after the war you just forgot about it. We could stay, Ky. You could enter the Academy."

"What about you? You were getting along great in Nuuk. Everyone loved you! They'll make you chief, Sokka, you know they will! And what about Lil and Kona? They need us, don't you think? We can't stay, it's just not feasible!" I sat down on the window seat

"I am just as happy here as I was in Nuuk. My family is here, my friends. I have friends in Nuuk too, but either way people who love me surround me. I could…" He bit his lip, "I could take the ambassador job."

"I thought your dad was doing that?" I frowned

"He is, but he wants to retire, he wants to go back to the South Pole."

"I see." I sighed and put my hands in my hair, "Do I have to decide now?"

"No, not now! You can take all the time you need."

"How about a month"

"A month sounds great," he came over and hugged me, "Whatever you want, Kya."

* * *

It happened when we were eating dinner.

It was Sokka's and my first real fight. Serious one anyway.

Honestly, I don't understand how we made it this long. Almost a year, us, the people who couldn't decide what to eat for dinner without almost coming to blows before. I guess we changed, or something.

Anyway, Hitomi was telling us what was happening that night. She was going for her final test as a firebender. She was telling us about how it was really dangerous, but she'd be fine because she'd been practicing. All of a sudden Sokka said,

"This is why I'm glad Kya decided not to pursue firebending. She might have died or something!"

Everyone kind of froze. I had spoken with Toph and Hitomi about the possibility of us staying, so they knew the meaning this statement had.

"Excuse me?" I turned to Sokka angrily

"Just saying! I wouldn't know what to do if you died, or even got hurt!"

"Is this supposed to make me feel better?" I stood up angrily, "Maybe I will pursue firebending! I never answered you!"

"I…" He realized his mistake, "Look, Ky, sorry! I just… I…"

"Yeah, exactly. You messed up! Am I not allowed to do anything dangerous? Don't you think I'd be good enough to _not _die? Or do you think I'd be horrible? Is that what you think?"

"No!" He stood up too, "It was supposed to be a compliment! I love you! I don't want you to get hurt!"

"So you're just going to keep me in a little bubble, and hope that works? Did you mean anything you said about staying? Do you even really want to? You were lying, making me think you cared."

"I wasn't lying!" He gaped at me. I held my glass of water in my hand; I hadn't let it go when I stood up. Now, without thinking for a second, I splashed it in his face.

"Kya!" This was Katara, who gave me a look of extreme disbelief

Sokka was coughing, from the water that had gotten in his mouth, and staring at me incredulously

"Ok, break it up!" Toph bent the floor up into a wall between us, "Settle down!"

"I have to leave, I'm so sorry!" Hitomi stood up and kissed Fong and Yuuchi and hugged the rest of us. When she hugged me she yelped, "Kya, you burnt me!"

"Oh, Tomi, I'm so sorry! I'm still angry, I guess." I sighed, "I'm sorry."

"It's ok," She brushed her arm where the angry red spot was already fading; "It was just a little sting." She smiled and walked calmly out of the room, waving.

"Sorry," I whispered again. Much to my dismay I felt a tear slip out of my eye, "I have to go too," this was also a whisper, and as soon as it was out I turned and ran away from all the accusing eyes. I was glad I couldn't see Sokka through Toph's wall.

I ran to my room where I cried for a bit. The world was not right.

I stared out the giant window in my room, unsure if I was feeling excitement or fear. Perhaps both. Outside the window a giant storm was roiling along. One of those fairly sudden summer storms with lightning that blinds you and thunder that shakes your whole body. The one where the rain is fairly light, because somewhere there is some law that everything can't be at its worst at one time. Or at least, that's what I like to think.

I was watching this storm with fear because, though I was a bit old to be scared by thunderstorms, this one was frightening. I knew all the customs here, and the custom that went along with the first summer storm was a grisly one. All the young firebenders in the royal academy that were deemed 'ready' went out and attempted to call lightning to them, then redirect it. It was the final step before becoming a master. Tonight, Hitomi was out there. I was excited for her opportunity, but scared for her life.

I wasn't thinking about Sokka or anything else down that avenue.

"Siku? You ok?"

"Toph! You startled me!" I turned from where I had landed after her voice had sent me jumping and sighed, "I'm holding up alright, I guess. I'm just worried."

"We all are. You should see Fong! He's a head case. Pretty soon he'll be joining Azula!" She laughed, and I joined in.

"Now that is an interesting mental picture!"

She patted my shoulder roughly, "Don't worry about Hitomi. She'll do great! She's been practicing the redirecting move for practically four years. Ever since she applied to the academy! She'll be fine."

"Thanks Toph. I'm really glad you came. I was just starting to get morose." I smiled at her, though she couldn't see it.

"Yeah, well, Sokka was almost as bad as Fong. He really wanted to come check on you, but after that outburst earlier he wasn't sure he was the one you wanted to see."

"Oh, Toph." I sank down onto the chair that was conveniently behind me.

"Don't beat yourself up over it! Just apologize, he will too, and then you'll be good. Don't assume or presume anything. Just say what _you _need to say and let him take care of the rest."

"When did you become such a good advice giver? Have you been studying psychology?"

"Naw, I learned that from…" She sighed, "Iroh."

"Oh, Toph," I said again, but this time was completely different

"Hey, it's ok. It's been almost a month since the funeral. We're living our lives and getting along alright."

"Really, did you ever think of becoming a therapist?"

"Not on your life!" She grinned, "Now come on; let's go talk to that husband of yours, shall we?"

I smiled, "You are amazing, Toph!"

She laughed, "I try!"

"Sokka, I… I'm so sorry," I bit my lip, trying to hold back the tears which had suddenly threatened to appear.

"Oh Kya. You have no reason to apologize… except maybe for splashing water on me…" he grinned, "It was my fault, I spoke stupidly. As usual," he sighed

"I still love you," I smiled, "I'll always love you."

"As will I," He pulled me into his arms, to a chorus of 'awws' from everyone except Toph, who made a sound as if she were throwing up.

"Sappiness, ugh." She rolled her eyes

"I'm glad you don't like sappiness, Toph. It makes this a lot easier." Teo rolled over to her

"What are you talking about? I swear, if you're showing me something…" She puffed out air that ruffled her bangs, and crossed her arms

"I'm not," he took her hand, "I'm telling you something. You're going to marry me." He slid a ring onto her finger.

She stood there with an open mouth for about five minutes, until Katara squealed.

"Toph, say something!"

"You really want to marry me?" Toph's disbelief was blatantly evident, causing us all to laugh.

"Of course I do Toph! You're amazing! I love you!"

"I… this… you're…" She opened and closed her mouth like a fish.

"Toph, say yes! Say you'll marry him!" I tugged excited on Sokka's hand and he smiled at me.

"Yes, I'll marry you! I'll marry you! I really will!" She giggled, "Guys, I'm getting married!"

"Congratulations!" Zuko smiled at Katara in much the same way that Sokka had smiled at me, and Yuuchi clapped his hands; obviously he could tell that something exciting was happening.

Just then Hitomi ran in, "I did it! I really did it! I redirected lightning! I'm a master!" She was soaking wet and dripping on the floor, but none of us cared. We ran up and hugged her, and Fong, of course, kissed her. She picked up Yuuchi, who smiled and said, 'mama!'

"Hitomi, guess what?" Toph giggled again, "I'm getting married! I'm really getting married!"

Hitomi gasped, "Toph! That's incredible! Completely incredible! Congrats!"

I pulled Sokka into a quiet corner as they ordered more piiju and leechi nuts to celebrate.

"Sokka, I want to stay. But I don't have to study firebending if you really don't want me to."

"No, Ky, I want you to. You are a firebender, it's just who you are. I shouldn't be so pigheaded as to stop you from following your destiny."

I smiled, "You're my destiny, denigii, nothing else but you matters."

"Aww, that's so sweet!" He mock gagged and I laughed, "But really, go to the Academy! You'll be an amazing firebender, there won't be any danger. Except to anyone who stands in your way, of course."

I laughed slightly, "Thanks, love. That really means a lot."

"Anytime. Love you, Kya."

"Love you too, Sokka."

"Ewwww, they're kissing!" Toph made more faux barfing sounds, and everyone else laughed.

Not so bad a day after all!

* * *

"Aang?" I put my hand on the boy's shoulder, "Are you alright?"

He didn't turn around from where he was staring at the sea, just nodded.

"No, you're not. Sit down and face me!"

As always, the direct approach worked.

"I'm fine, Kya!" He stole another glance at the setting sun, but I wasn't fooled.

"Aang, it's ok if you're not perfect, you know that?"

"Yeah, I know," He squirmed under my gaze.

"Aang, it's also ok if you're sad you lost Toph." I bit my lip, hoping I didn't go too far.

"I didn't lose her! I never had her! I never wanted her!" He stood up and glared at me.

"Oh dear. I was hoping I was wrong." I sighed, "You just proved me right."

"You _are_ wrong! I don't like Toph! I mean, I like her as a friend, but nothing more!" He crossed his arms and continued to glare. I stood up to meet his gaze

"Aang, don't lie to me. You have to confide in someone, and I'm willing to be that someone. Please, don't bottle it up."

"I'm not a kid anymore, Kya. I'm seventeen! I can control my own emotions!"

"No, you can't! Your age has nothing to do with it; it's your personality! You just bottle up your emotions, keep them locked up inside, until you implode! That isn't healthy, Aang! You have to tell _someone_!"

"Fine," He sighed and sat back down, "Fine."

"Thank you; you don't know how much this relieves me." I sat down again also.

"You shouldn't worry about me so much. I can take care of myself."

"Oh, please!" I rolled my eyes, with a smile to show I was teasing.

"Ok, ok!" He grinned back, but the grin soon faded, "You want to know how I feel?"

"That would be nice," I said dryly

"I feel like a failure. Oh, sure, the world is getting on all right, but my personal life is a failure. I lost the first girl I loved, and in my grief over that I lost the second. I don't even see what the purpose of the third is, because I already know the outcome. I just can't help it." He sighed, "And now I'm just depressing you. These are my burdens, I'll carry them."

"Oh, Aang. You're so young." I gave him a small, sad smile, "So very young."

"Don't patronize me!" He clenched his hands into fists and a warm breeze suddenly blew across my face. With an agonized look he released his fists and put his head in his hands, "I get angry at the slightest things. I don't know why. I have so much power, it hurts."

"You…" I shook my head, "You'll be fine."

"No, I won't. I'll never be _fine_"

"Aang, snap out of it!"

"I can feel whatever the heck I want to feel!" He got up, snapped open his glider, and flew away.

I stared after him angrily. What right did he have to yell at me like that! I was just trying to help!

When Sokka came up an hour later he found me sobbing.

"Kya, what's wrong!" He ran up and held me close

"He's hurting, Sok, he's hurting so much, but nothing can help him. He needs to leave; he needs to not have our happiness flashing in his face. I don't think we can help him anymore, Sokka."

"Oh, Kya," Sokka sighed and rested his head in my hair.

"He's going to fall apart. He's lost his hope."

"Don't worry about him anymore, Kya. Let him find it. He will."

We sat and watched the moon until we fell asleep.

* * *

"_Dear Liluye._

_That's so amazing! It's baby season I guess! Hitomi just had her second, a girl named Rani. She's so cute! And Toph is about to have her first!_

_I hope you can come over soon. I miss you! Having fun here though._

_Say hello to Kona and everyone else! _

_Love,_

_Kya"

* * *

_

It was one of the most amazing days of my life. Certainly one of the most interesting.

I didn't expect it to be an interesting or amazing day! All I had planned was some simple sparring. Nothing special. Li was going to teach me some of her hand-to-hand tricks.

I got there on time, as did Li, and we had been practicing for about an hour, when Aang showed up.

"Hey, Aang!" I smiled at him, hoping he was in a better mood than the last time I'd seen him, a couple years ago, when he'd flown off and not come back.

"Hello Kya."

No such luck. His greeting was cordial, but nothing more. Contrary to the greeting he gave Li.

"Aang!" She ran to him and gave him a giant hug, which he returned

"Hi Li! How are you? Have you married Cha-li yet?" He smiled, but I could see the pain in his eyes

"Not yet!" She laughed, "Crazy kid just won't propose! How are you?"

"Oh, I'm alive!" He laughed bitterly, "Barely!"

"So what brings you back to the Fire Nation?"

"I wanted to see you."

"Oh…" She had an odd look on her face, and I could tell she didn't know how to take this.

"You're one of my good friends, Li! Aren't friends allowed to come see friends?"

"Of course!" She laughed nervously, "It is good to see you, Aang!"

"So, what are you doing right now? Did I interrupt anything?"

"Kya and I were just practicing some moves, but you came at an ok time! We were just about to take a break!"

I nodded to confirm her words, but he paid me no attention.

"Can you show me some of your airbending moves?" She had another odd look on her face, and he looked rather surprised, but he nodded.

He showed her a few moves and she copied them.

"Good job! You move like an airbender." He smiled

"I do? I see." She had a look on her face like she was figuring something out.

"What's up? You look like something's wrong!"

"Oh, nothing's wrong." She grinned, "In fact, I think something is really right!"

"Ok, what is going on?" He frowned

"Just watch!" She laughed, and he frowned deeper. I leaned in, confused.

She went through all the moves he had taught her. At the point where he had jumped ten feet, she jumped ten feet. My mouth dropped open and I heard him gasp. At the end of the little routine, where he had shot a wall of air out, she shot a wall of air out. It wasn't just a breeze either; it knocked me off of my bench.

"Oh my goodness." I stared at her, "Li, you're… you're…"

"You're an airbender!" Aang did a flip, "You're really an airbender!"

"I am! I really am!" She laughed again, loud and long, and I couldn't help but join her. Soon all three of us were rolling on the floor, laughing out loud.

"This is the best day of my life!" Aang did another flip.

"I can't wait to tell everyone!" Li did a flip just like him, almost as good too.

"Wow," was all I could say.

I was calmly cleaning my room the next day, putting Sokka's clothes away and such, when Li walked in.

"Hey Li! How are you?"

"Aang's asked me to go with him, to travel, to help him keep the peace."

"Really?"

"He said he'll teach me airbending. Help me master it." Li laughed drily, "Imagine, all this time I was an airbender, and I had no idea!"

"It's amazing, Li! And so exciting!" I smiled, and then remembered what she had said before, "So, are you going to go with him?"

"Kya, I can't! I just can't! I love Cha-Li… I'm sure he'll propose any day now! I can't leave him!" Li frowned and flopped down onto my bed.

"Li…" I didn't know what to say. "Do you want me to convince you to go, or do you want me to validate your choice?"

"I honestly don't know!"

"Perhaps you should list the pros and cons? Or something like that?"

"I've already done all of that. I've made my choice Ky, and it's not the one you think. I can't leave Cha-li, but I have to. If I don't go with Aang, if I don't marry him, I'll be killing a race, essentially. Sure, there may be other airbenders out there, but how long will it take to find them? Aang loves me; he'll treat me just fine. I have to go with him."

I stared at her, shocked.

"You… you mean…"

"I'm going with him. We're leaving tomorrow. I… I wanted to see what you would say."

"Oh, Li. It's… it's… well, there is no right choice here, I suppose." I sighed.

"I know. But this is the one that must be made. I can't face Cha-li, I just can't do it. Can you give this to him?" She handed me a letter.

"Of course. Good luck. Write me, please."

"I'll try." She smiled, "Thank you, Kya, thank you."

"Anytime!" I gave her a hug, "Be careful. Stay smart."

"Will do. See ya."

"'Bye."

She scampered out of the room, leaving a breeze that ruffled my hair.

* * *

"Oh, Toph, she's so cute! What's her name?"

"Teyla. Is she adorable? I've never really missed my sight until now. I wish I could just see her face, just once." Toph sighed

"I'm sorry uyarak! But you can feel her, and that's more important!" I gave the earthbender a hug.

"Thanks Kya!"

"Sure! Oh, Teo's back! I'll give you guys a minute."

"Thanks Kya," Teo gave me a smile

"No problem," I slipped out and smiled at everyone in the outer chamber, "Oh, she's so adorable! And Toph's doing great!"

"This is so exciting! I never thought Toph would have a daughter! It's crazy!" Katara laughed.

"It is weird!" Hitomi smiled, "And very incredible!"

* * *

"_Dear Liluye,_

_Our sixth anniversary is almost here. You're coming down for the party, right? It's so crazy to realize how long it's been. Insane. This means it's been a decade since the comet… a DECADE! _

_I'm doing fine, thanks for asking. I'm glad Kia is too. The drawing you sent was very cute! I hope I get to see her in real life soon._

_Don't feel bad. I'm not going to be embittered by your happiness. Like I said, I'm doing fine. _

_Love,_

_Kya"

* * *

_

Everywhere I turned there was a baby or a pregnant woman. I just didn't understand.

Even Azula got onto me. When I went to visit, she hit me with,

"Don't you have any children? My mother had Zuko just a year after she married my father! You're running a little late, aren't you?"

"I don't want to talk about it, Azula."

"Oh mother, the perfect cousin is angry! What would happen if I talked about it? Do you want to see, mother?" She cackled, "Oh, alright, I'll behave."

It struck me especially hard one day. Everyone was in town for Sokka's and my sixth anniversary party, and one night we told them we'd babysit all their kids and let them go see a show and stay the night on Ember Island. After promises that we really did want to do this, and we'd be ok, they went.

Sokka and I had a great time with all six children. We had Yuuchi, who was almost six, Hikari, who was four, Rani, who was three, Teyla, who was also three, Kia, who was two, and Iroh, who was about eight months. It was an interesting and very fun group. We played games, ate dinner, and went to bed.

At about three O'candle (in the morning) a tiny little knock woke me up, along with some sniffling. I sat up to see Hikari standing in the doorway, nose running and eyes red from crying.

"Oh, sweetie, what's wrong? C'mere." I lifted her onto the bed and wiped her nose

She sniffed, "I had a bad dream. Mama calls those 'ny mares'."

"Yeah, ny mares." I smiled despite her obvious distress, "Well, don't worry dear. You can stay with us tonight, ok? That way if you have another nightmare I'll be right here. Is that ok?"

She nodded, snuggled under the covers, and was asleep almost instantly. I smiled and tried to follow suit, but it was hard. I couldn't help but wonder if I was ever going to be able to do this with my own children. Was I ever going to be able to tell someone my own stories, and snuggle with them, and teach them about 'ny mares'? Would I ever have that privilege? To my horror I started to sob quietly. I didn't want to cry!

I felt Sokka's warm hand on my shoulder and his calm voice whispered, "Did you have a ny mare?"

I smiled, "Thanks Sokka."

"I love you."

"I love you too." Now I was able to sleep.

I thought I had lost it that night, but the next morning was worse.

I woke up before everyone else and went out to make breakfast but was distracted by the sunrise. I sat and watched for a while, then remembered the events of the night before. I thought of all I might have lost, and why on earth I had lost it. Why? Why would I never have children? Why was it taking so long?

That was when I really fell apart. I cried for what I might never have. I cried and cried and cried and cried, until my face was red and blotchy and my head ached, and still I cried. I was still crying when Sokka woke up and found me, staring out at the risen sun and sobbing.

"Oh ky," He sighed and came and held me.

"I can't stop!" I continued to sob, though he was rocking me

"I know, I know. It's ok, sweetie, it's ok to cry. But you can't give up hope, you hear me?"

I nodded slightly

"You can never give up hope, because if you give up hope you give up your will to live. Remember you always have me, and you always have your nieces and nephews."

"It's not the same," I managed through the sobs

"I know it's not, but it is something. I love you; I'll always love you no matter what, ok?"

"I know, but…" I sniffed and managed to hold back a few sobs, "What if that's not enough."

His gaze got fierce, "That's always enough. Always"

I nodded, "I'm sorry"

"Don't apologize, Ky. You don't need to."

"I love you," I sighed and rested my head against his chest

"Stay sane, ok? I can't have two Azulas, it's too much." He grinned and I laughed slightly

"Ok. I'll try."

* * *

"Hey Kya?"

"Yes, Toph?"

"Can I come with you to see Azula today?"

"What?" I stopped in the middle of a dancing dragon pose and turned to look at the not-so-little earthbender, "You hate Azula!"

"I know!" She smiled, I think she thought it was sweetly, "That's why I want to come!"

"You know you can't harm her in any way…" I frowned

"Yes, yes, I know! I just want to come. As a matter of fact, why don't we invite Sokka too! He hasn't seen Azula in a while, has he?"

My frown deepened, "Toph, what are you planning?"

She sighed and was about to speak when Teyla ran up,

"Mommy, can we take Iroh to the duck pond?"

"Iroh? No! He's just a baby!"

"But Yuuchi said he was a big kid, so he could take care of even a baby!"

"Tey, if Yuuchi said that he could earthbend, would you believe him?"

The little girl scrunched up her face, as if she was trying to figure this out… "Yuuchi can't earthbend, mommy!"

Toph smiled slightly, "Yes, I know… well, Yuuchi isn't big enough to take care of a baby. So no, you may not take Iroh to the duck pond. You aren't even supposed to go to the duck pond without an adult!"

Teyla made a face, "Alright. Can we go to the courtyard?"

"That's fine"

"'Bye mommy!" Teyla skipped off, ponytail bouncing.

Toph frowned, "I wish I could see your face."

"Me? Why?" I had gone innocently back to my dancing dragon forms.

"No reason!" She shrugged, "So, about Azula…"

"Fine, you can come! You can try to convince Sokka to come too, if you want. Be at our door at Ten O'Candle tomorrow morning." I gave up on the dancing dragon forms and poured myself a cup of tea

"Thanks!" Toph took the cup of tea out of my hands and headed off down the hall

I had no choice but to sigh and shake my head

"Ok, Toph, no provoking her, ok? We go in, we chat, and when she starts to get antsy we leave, ok?"

Toph nodded, "But why are you singling me out? Snoozles will be just as tempted to smack her!"

I sighed, "Because, though he doesn't have a lot, he has more restraint than you."

"You're biased!"

"Perhaps. But that doesn't matter! Let's go!"

Sokka snickered slightly and opened the door for us 'ladies.'

"Well, if it isn't my perfect cousin. Oh, look mother, she brought friends! It's that blind earthbender and the wimpy warrior Ty Lee liked." Azula gave a mock curtsey, "Hello guests!"

"Hello Azula!" I smiled pleasantly and sank down in a chair, "How are you?"

Toph and Sokka exchanged an incredulous look. (This still amazes me – Toph's ability to exchange looks. She's blind, how does she know where to 'look'? But she does it!)

"Not like you care!" Azula rolled her eyes and sat on the edge of the chair across from me. Toph and Sokka tiptoed around us and sat in other chairs, farther away.

"I care, Azula! I very much care! You are one of my favorite cousins!"

She chuckled, "Don't tell Zuko that!"

"Right!" I smiled slightly, "So, really, how are you?"

She was still on her tirade, "Nobody ever really cared. Mother hated me. Father just liked my firebending abilities. Zuko wants to care, but he can't. Mai and Ty Lee came close… but then they just betrayed me." Suddenly she cast a sharp glance at me, "Where _are_ Mai and Ty Lee, exactly?"

I sighed, "I'm not sure, _exactly_. Still in prison would be my best guess. I would think Zuko would have thought of them, liberated them. They might have gone to the Earth Kingdom, or something like that."

"Oh." She ran a hand through her hair, a surprisingly human gesture. But of course, she had to ruin it, by pointing to Toph and Sokka; "Why are _they_ here? Nobody likes them!"

Toph snorted slightly and I shrugged,

"Honestly, I don't know. They wanted to come."

"Hmph," Azula set her eyes to roving across the room, looking for something else to criticize. When her gaze came to rest on my midsection she smiled slightly, "So, still no children? I suppose you are being disowned by the first few clubs and societies now. Truly a shameful thing, being so childless so long. It isn't _natural. _Eventually you will be an outcast, forced to live in the side streets and alleys. It's just how it's done in the Fire Nation, though I know you don't know much about us and our customs. You're a disgrace, in our world."

Sokka grabbed my hand and Toph stood up.

The triumphant grin on her face scared me.

"Oh Azula, you are so wrong!"

"Excuse me?" I think Azula and I said this in unison. It was a confusing time, let me tell you!

"Kya is not childless! She is not a disgrace!"

"Look, girl, I know you think you're so smart, but you're _blind! _ You can't tell if someone is pregnant or not!"

"Toph, don't tease her," _or me_ I thought.

"I'm not teasing! Look, _Azula_, I know you think _you're _so smart, but I can feel heartbeats! I can tell if there is an extra one in Kya!"

"Toph, what are you saying?" Sokka's voice was level, but his hand was crushing mine

"I'm saying prepare for the hardest time in your life: you're about to be a parent! Kya is pregnant!"

I think I fainted, just for a few minutes. When I came to Toph was cackling, Azula was frowning, and Sokka was sitting back in his chair, seemingly stunned.

"Sokka? You ok?"

He blinked a few times, "Yup, never better! I'm great! Just a little, uh, happy!"

I grinned, "Yeah… me too!"

Azula stared at us angrily, "Why are you so happy? Why? Why am I not happy? It's not fair!" I felt the blue sparks before I saw them… the air was alive and sparking. Toph shook her head slightly and Sokka jumped up

"Guys! Don't worry, just get in that doorway, ok? I know how to deal with this"

Toph complied immediately, but Sokka frowned,

"No, don't get in danger! I mean…" He bit his lip

"Hey, don't worry, I'm fine!" I kissed him slightly and then pushed him towards the doorway.

Azula watched all this with an ugly scowl on her face. As soon as I kissed Sokka she began to really gather lightning.

"Azula, dear, you don't have to attack me." Last ditch attempts sometimes work!

"It's not fair!" She dragged the lightning across the room like a whip until it reached me. I redirected it into a chair. She hissed and shot fire at me. Her fire was weak and easy to block. I let my instincts rule when fighting her – she was one of those deceptively easy opponents.

"Zula, really, you'll just wear yourself out."

"No I won't!" She grinned manically, "I have a surprise! I've been practicing!"

She put her arms up towards the ceiling and her fingertips began to spark. She kept them up there until she had giant orbs of lightning flowing around her fingers. As soon as the lightning became big enough that the light it gave off was blinding, she cackled and sent it towards me.

This all happened in a second. It was the fastest gathering of lightning I had ever seen. I froze for a split second trying to figure out what to do. I couldn't redirect it, because the two orbs were slowly spreading into one giant wall, and there was no point at which I could grab it. I couldn't block it, because lightning goes through fire and electrifies water. After five milliseconds I knew what I had to do. I went through the move I'd been taught in my head before doing it for real. I focused, and shot my fingertips out.

When I opened my eyes Azula was staring at me. The side of her hair was singed, but other than that she was unharmed. As opposed to the wall beside her; this had a giant burnt splat in it.

"What did I do, exactly?" I sank down onto my knees, weak from whatever it was.

"You… you made this… something, I've never seen anything like it. It was a jet of lightning and fire and water… like lightning and lava…" Azula rubbed her singed hair, "It was crazy!"

Sokka touched me on the shoulder, and I accepted his helping hand up.

"It was just like she said – a horizontal column of lava and lightning, twisted around each other. Powerful weapon you have there!" He smiled and picked me up

"Oh, you don't have to –"

"No, no, I insist. You've probably exhausted yourself, doing that, you don't need to walk!"

Over his shoulder I saw Toph gag and Azula wave.

It was a fairly comedic sight; you can't blame me for giggling.

Perhaps I _was_ exhausted.

* * *

"_Dear Liluye,_

_I'm going home. Sokka and I agree; we want the baby to be born and raised there in Nuuk. I've progressed far enough in my firebending that I can keep at it and teach myself the rest. It's just a matter of practicing. And Sokka arranged for a new ambassador also._

_I'm both excited and nervous about going home. What if everyone has changed? What if they hate me for leaving multiple times? _

_I don't know. I do enjoy my life here in the Fire Nation, but Sokka and I are both Water Tribe, despite our travels. We feel most at home in the Water Tribe. We want our child to be raised Water Tribe, not confused by the Fire Nation customs. _

_Am I doing the right thing? _

_Ah, well. Hopefully we'll have time to come visit you before the baby is born. It's only three sections of the candle, by boat. _

_Love,_

_Kya"

* * *

_

It felt good, being back home. Toph and Teo decided to come with us, just to visit and help us settle in, and so far they hadn't left, which was ok. As far as I'd heard, Hitomi and Fong were planning to come out to help me after the birth, and I was sure that Katara would attempt to make it, though Zuko probably couldn't because of his responsibilities. I laughed at the thought that I would be alone here. Truly, that was what had made me think twice about moving back, so far from my friends. They had all managed to arrange it so that they lived in the Fire Nation… why couldn't I? I thought about this for a while, but as soon as I was back on Nuuk I ceased regretting my decision. It was wonderful.

Now I only had a month left of my pregnancy. Toph and Sokka were helping me around the house, making me stop doing things like cleaning. I wasn't complaining! I was nice and relaxed, but my anxiety grew as the month passed. I could feel that things weren't going to stay this perfect. Something was going to happen.

I just wish I had been wrong.

* * *

"Hey Kya, you got a letter from Li!" Sokka came in waving the letter around like a madman

"Oh, wonderful!" I started to get up from the chair I was reclined in, but he stopped me with a shout

"No! Don't get up! I'll bring it to you!"

"I'm not an invalid," I huffed, "I'm perfectly capable of walking two steps!"

"The baby could come at any time now! You need to relax!"

I rolled my eyes as I snatched the letter from his hands.

"Can you read it out loud?" He settled into the chair next to me and looked over my shoulder as I broke the seal on the letter

"Dear Kya," I began to read, "I'm sorry I haven't written you much. We've been on the go, always flying around… mainly around the Earth Kingdom; Aang's been helping the Earth King. I haven't been able to send any letters… or write any. Everytime I start I end up scratching it out and crumpling it up. Nothing of importance has happened. Well, that's not true. We have a child, he's almost two. Gyatso is his name. I am just bad at writing letters I suppose.

Enough stalling. I'm afraid I have rather bad news. Aang found out that I only married him because I felt obligated. I tried to tell him that it didn't matter: We've been together for about four years, and we have a child, but he wouldn't listen. He felt betrayed, I suppose. All these years we've been together, he's never _really _spoken to me, never tried to be what I thought couples were supposed to be: confidants. The only time I ever saw real joy in him was when Gyatso was born, even that only lasted a few days. It's like, when the novelty wears off, he doesn't care anymore. He still has the attention span of a fly.

I want to stay with him. I want to have more children, to further propagate the race. But I couldn't lie to him… I couldn't tell him I wanted to stay because I love him. Honestly, I don't love him. I can't help it. I tried, and I tried, but I just can't. I still love Cha-li, though I know that is over and done with.

I don't know why I'm saying this all in a letter. Perhaps this is why I never wrote: I feel like everything I needed to say should be said in person. But this was too important. I am making myself send this letter because you need to know.

I have gotten all your letters, so I know you're back on Nuuk. I'm coming there. I'm sorry to burden you, but you and Hitomi are the only ones who know my predicament. I haven't spoken to anyone else… I'm not close enough to anyone else. I don't want to go back to the Fire Nation… I can't.

Aang left, in the middle of the night, and didn't tell me where he was going. He left a note, but it simply said 'I'm gone for good. Don't try to find me.'

I'm sorry.

-Li"

"Oh dear," Sokka sat back in his chair and rubbed his head, "This is a problem."

"Uh Sokka?" I turned to him, "I think I'm in labor."

I kinda zoned out then. He freaked out, went to go get someone, all those kind of things. I was simply caught up in the fact that I was about to have my child. _My _child.

* * *

Sokka paced the floor. It seemed stereotypical, but it came naturally. He had been expelled from the birthing room for the time being, only after the midwife had promised to call him when the baby was really coming out. For now all he could do was pace and worry. Teo and Fong were playing pai sho at the table and Toph was entertaining the children in the corner.

"She's going to be fine!" This was Fong

"I know, but I can't help but worry!" Sokka ran his hand through his hair, which had come loose from his wolf's tail

"I understand, man. It's nerve-wracking!" Teo shot Sokka a grin

"Hey, you can have some pride Snoozles! You're not nearly as bad as Teo was! I thought he was going to tear the place down!" Toph smiled teasingly at her husband

"Thanks guys," Sokka sat down and stared at the door, "So, how do you think she's doing?"

Fong and Teo exchanged a smirk and Toph shook her head. A screech from Hawky made them all jump.

"Why don't you read that message, Sokka?" Toph raised her eyebrows in a not-so-subtle hint.

"Fine, fine!" Sokka went over to the bird and took the message from the arm pouch. He recognized Aang's handwriting immediately, and went over to the corner to have a bit of privacy.

"_Dear Sokka and Kya,_

_I don't know why I'm sending this to you. I think Li said something about going there. Maybe that's why. _

_Katara always used to tell me that I'd lost my sense of humor, my 'goofy' side. She said I'd lost my hope. I don't know what I had to be hopeful about. I essentially killed my own race, twice. The first time by running away before the Fire Nation attack and the second time by running away from Li. It seems like that is all I know how to do: run away. _

_I am the worst Avatar that has ever lived. Sure I defeated Ozai, but I couldn't even kill him, couldn't even finish the job. Suki died because of me. Any and all of you are more worthy of the title than I am. _

_The next Avatar will be better, so why prolong his or her coming? Why force this pitiful world to put up with me any longer? I don't know. I don't know why this has taken me so long… but I'm telling you now…_

_My life is worthless, useless. I am going to end it, end the pain. End the suffering. _

_I'm sorry._

_Aang" _

Sokka didn't know what to say. He ran into the birthing room and the midwife grinned,

"Great timing!"

He heard a cry, saw the baby's head, and saw Kya take it gently, a serene smile on her face. How could he break that beautiful picture?

"What should we name her?" his thoughts were broken by Kya's weary voice.

"I don't know..." He smiled and came to sit beside her.

"Look, she's so fierce!" Suddenly Kya smiled brightly, "How about Shila?"

"Perfect," Sokka held his precious family in his arms.

He wasn't thinking of Aang in the slightest.

Somewhere, Aang knew this. He could practically _feel _Sokka open the letter, feel his anxiety.

_Shouldn't he be happy_, thought Aang, _shouldn't he be overjoyed to receive a letter from me?_

Sometime, nobody knew when, Aang had slipped. Perhaps it was when the Fire Lord had killed Suki. Maybe that had only started the descent. Perhaps it was when Katara had married Zuko. Or when Toph married Teo.

Nobody knew.

All they knew was that he wasn't the same. He had lost some of his sanity. They didn't know the full extent. They didn't know that he was as insane as Azula, perhaps more. They didn't know that every night he lay down and thought of how much they hated him. Thought about how the whole world blamed him for the war, for the thousands of people who had died because of it, for his failure. For that's what it was, he'd decided, plain failure.

He went through the same tirade that night. His rational mind, the tiny bit left, warred with his irrational mind.

'It's not your fault; you couldn't have stopped Sozin even if you didn't run away! Roku couldn't,' said the rational part

'Of course it's your fault! You ran away! You practically killed them yourself,' said the irrational part.

He stood on the edge of the cliff. He had thought about this many times, but the rational part had always ended up winning.

Tonight was different.

He was overtaken with a vision. He saw Sokka, saw him reading the note.

Aang knew what he had to do. He knew it would hurt, but pain no longer mattered. The whole world hated him, and he couldn't change that. Despite all the work he had done to save the world from the Fire Nation, it was still a giant mass of writhing chaos.

Li had told him he needed to have hope. _Everyone_ had told him he needed to have hope.

But hope was something he had lost long ago. He had been taught that hope was a distraction; that teaching stuck with him.

And without hope, what was the world?

He stared down the cliff. The Great Divide… they wouldn't soon find him here. He was fine with that too… he didn't deserve a proper burial. Closing his eyes, he plunged the knife into his chest. He felt himself fall off the cliff, and then nothing.

* * *

It should have been the happiest time of our lives, but instead it was dark.

Sokka told me the contents of Aang's letter the day after Shila's birth. I didn't know what to think, what to say. Was this my fault? This was all our faults, wasn't it? We could have stopped this.

Li arrived a few days later. She had new lines on her face and an adorable child in tow, but she still had the same strong spirit and sweet laugh. You just heard it less. I didn't want to tell her about Aang, but Sokka insisted. He said she needed to know.

"This is all my fault." She stared at the ocean, tears streaming.

"No, it's not. You couldn't have foreseen this. You didn't do anything, it was his choice."

She shook her head and held Gyatso tight, "It's my fault."

I didn't know how to help her, but I could see she would get better. Every day was a new step for her, a step out of shame and guilt.

The one thing I didn't think of in Aang's death was the inevitable new Avatar. Somewhere in the Water Tribe a new Avatar had been born, but I wasn't really concerned with finding him or her. I was concerned with finding Aang, or whatever was left of him. Zuko sent out many patrols, as did Arnook, but nothing came up. I was worried we'd never find him, worried he wouldn't get a burial.

Turns out I should have been worried about far more relevant things. Like, the new Avatar.

A group of men came to our house one day, a patrol from the North Pole. This wasn't so unusual: patrols were constantly stopping by to give us something from Lil or something Arnook needed our opinions on. The difference was that these men asked if I had a baby in the house.

"A baby?" I frowned, "Yes. Why?"

"When was your baby born?"

"About nine months ago. Why?"

"We're going to need to do a little test on your baby." The pushed in past me

"Excuse me! Why –oh…" I realized what test they would have to do, "Look, guys, she can't be… I mean… that would be weird. She's not… you don't have to worry about it. Save yourselves some time."

The men frowned, "I'm afraid we can't do that. Sorry."

I sighed and went to go get Shila. She had been taking a nap, but the men's voices had awakened her.

"Here she is. Her name is Shila." I set her on the floor in front of the men and they proceeded to dump the basket they were holding. Toys flew all over the floor, hundreds of them. She yawned, looked at the toys, and crawled over to one. It was a little wooden turtle. One of the men made a note on a scroll and then took it away from her. She fussed for a while, and then crawled over to another one. It was another wooden animal, a wolf. The man made another note.

"So?" I picked her up and she continued to play with the wolf.

"The two toys she chose are Avatar relics. They are the only ones here. Out of these hundreds of toys, she picked those two."

"It's probably just a coincidence."

"I doubt it." The second man spoke, "No other baby, and we've tested dozens, has picked those toys. Additionally, she was born closer to Avatar Aang's estimated death than anyone else. You have the new Avatar in your hands, Ma'm."

"It can't be possible! I knew Aang… it would be odd for me to be the mother of the new Avatar! Shouldn't it be someone random, some waterbender in the North Pole?"

"No ma'm," This was the first man again; "it's not odd. Avatar Aang's spirit found something familiar. It _is _a coincidence that your daughter was born so close to his death, but it isn't a coincidence that the Avatar spirit reincarnated in her."

"Are you certain about this?" Shila was still playing with the wolf

"Fairly. We will know more definitely as she grows up, and we will be monitoring her. Nothing absurd, you know, just a visit every other year or so."

"I understand." I nodded to the men, who picked up their toys and left without another word.

As soon as I shut the door after them I turned to Shila.

"It's impossible."

A sudden breeze blew my hair into her face. I smelled Leechi nuts. I turned to close the window and saw Momo.

I gasped, "Momo!"

He made a chirping sound and then scampered off the window ledge, to the outside.

I opened the door and went outside to find him, but instead of his tiny face I was confronted with Appa's large one.

"Appa! You're here too!"

Momo appeared, on Appa's back. He chirped again, and cocked his head to the side. It seemed like he wanted to show me something.

I climbed up on Appa, still holding Shila. I climbed into the saddle and was faced with one of the most horrible sites in my life.

Aang was laying there, a knife sticking out of his chest. He was obviously in the final stages of decomposing, but it was him. I covered my mouth with my hand and turned away. I tried to think of better, happier things, but I kept seeing his skull.

In my distracted state I let Shila wiggle out of my arms. When I realized I was no longer holding her I turned and saw her about to touch Aang. I shouted, but she didn't stop. With her tiny baby hands she pulled the knife out, and then touched the spot where it had been. Aang disappeared. She sat back on her bottom and stared at me, then yawned.

I was speechless.

I scooped her up and ran back inside. I let her play, while I thought about what I had seen.

Perhaps it wasn't so impossible?

It wasn't impossible. I was the mother of the new avatar. The signs only got clearer as she grew up.

She is now eight.

Sokka told me I should write this memoir of Sozin's Comet, of Aang's defeat of Ozai. He said it would be important, that Shila would want to know. I don't know if that's true, but it was therapeutic. Now I'm done, but I still have things left to say.

Li married Cha-li. It is another long story that I won't go into, but basically he found out that she was no longer with Aang, heard the whole story, and told her he still loved her, and Gyatso too. So that ended up well.

Otherwise everything is much the same.

Azula's still insane. Nothing is changing there, nor do I think it ever will

Zuko and Katara have three children, Hikari, Iroh, and Kanna

Hitomi and Fong have two, Yuuchi and Rani

Liluye and Kona have three, Kia, Arnook, and Sikku

Toph and Teo have one, Teyla

Everyone is still at their respective political positions.

Time goes on, and drags us with it.

* * *

_Fin_

_For a lot of sap and plain facts - i-amawriterDOTblogspotDOTcom/2010/06/shila-epilouge-pianikpok-aka-reallyDOThtml_


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